We've come to the point where we should probably be sharing some information with our oldest about what is probably happening to his body (or is about to happen). He's going to be 10 in a couple of weeks. The problem is that DH keeps putting it off. I'm not exactly equipped to answer his question. Every book I look at seems to have much more information than I'm comfortable with at this point; or they're just inappropriate with our moral values. One book for 9yrs+ encouraged boys to engage in group self-pleasure! HELP! Do you know of a GOOD book, that is medically sound, but also follows Judeo-Christian values (though not necessarily a Christian book), but also doesn't give too much information about the details of intercourse? I just want to focus on what he's going through with a side of the basics of reproduction.
What do you consider too much information about intercourse? I've used a couple books written from a Christian perspective. They do give a good deal of information about intercourse, but I'm not sure if it is too much for your needs.
I'm all for teaching sexuality as it applies to reproduction at this point. Obviously in the future, he'll be receiving a full education on the subject of pleasure. But for now, I'd like to leave out all the details about optimal performance and pleasure centers and foreplay, etc. I don't think that's necessary for a 10 yo.
Take them to the zoo or a farm in the springtime! Guaranteed to lay groundwork for questions! LOL I only had one boy, and I never used a book, but DH and I agreed that we would answer any questions he might have, either of us, as openly and honestly as we have information for, but not more than he was asking for, just like we would answer any other question. We never answered questions about anything that took place behind our closed bedroom door, but did answer to the best of our ability any "relationship" (dating) questions (like "how will I know when I meet the one I'm supposed to marry?" or "how do you ask a girl to be your girlfriend?" or "how do you know when somebody likes you?"), and "medical" (general anatomy) questions. Obviously, dad had more answers in certain categories than I did, but I had more answers in other categories. Sometimes he chose one to ask according to what his question was, and sometimes he asked both of us separately so he could compare answers...
Before I Was Born Book 2 from the God's Design for Sex series goes into general information about body changes and what intercourse is and that it feels good. Not a lot of detail in this book though. For ages 5-8. How You Are Changing for Boys (ages 10-12) Learning about Sex for the Christian Family: Covers information about intercourse (not the too much that you mentioned), diagrams of male and female anatomy, information on changes that a boy goes through (including things like wet dreams), pregnancy, and even deals a little with changes girls go through. Lots more details and a much longer book than the first one. HTH
God's Design series is what I used with my daughter and it was so much easier than I thought it would be. My ds inadverdently learned alot when his big sister went through some changes(LOL) and it really opened the door to some very interesting conversations. He'll be 10 in Sept and was thrilled to discover armpit hair a few weeks ago! This made me realize more in-depth conversations were on the way. Fortunately, we've encouraged open communication, so he's pretty comfortable asking questions, dh is slowly getting more comfortable answering them!LOL
I am so glad you brought this up. I had been thinking about this but didn't know if my 9yr old would be ready. I don't know if I am even ready for this!!! Thanks of for the book suggestions. I will be looking into them.
We use The Boys Body Book, by Kelli Dunham. I read about it over at Sonlight while looking at curriculum. It has been perfect for us. It talks about changes going on with a boys body, but does not talk about intercourse. I personally think that is a whole other discussion. Good Luck!
