What to do when 3rd grader has a day and is moving at snail pace

Started at 9am - now almost noon and the only thing we have done is Journal and most of the math worksheet. Usually we are done by now or about to be.

I understand - I don't like Mondays either. But what is the right thing to do when he is dragging it, crying whining, dramatizing. I have given him breaks to regroup his attitude but sure enough it comes back after a few minutes.

Lord give me patience.

 

I find three things really help a lot... a snack, exercise (jumping jacks or running laps around the living room if nothing else is an option at the moment), and some free time to be creative (legos, etc.).

 

There are two ways I can think of to handle it. One, chuck the plan for the day...go to the library, watch and educational video, do a random art project, play an education game...something like that. The second idea is just tough it out letting him know that there is no play time, tv, computer untill the work is done. Don't fight about it just let him cry or whatever he wants to do with you going about your business ignoring him. I would go in my room and put laundry away or down to the computer just ignoring the tantrum. Eventually dd would stop and get back to work or on the rare day she did not it would probably be a fairly early bedtime because of the behavior.

 

Some days I just call off school or take breaks like 2littleboys recommended. Obviously I don't do that every single Monday but the flexibility is one of my favorite things about homeschooling and the ability to change things up a little on "bad mood" days is nice. Or even just do some of the subjects he loves, maybe instead of doing an in depth lesson you could just read some really good books together. Something like that.

I *try* (don't always succeed) to give consideration to them in the way that I would hope someone would give consideration to me. I don't know how old your son is so that colors my answer a little too. Mine are still pretty young and I don't want school/learning to be a battle. yes we have days where I say you can't do this until you're done with that but if it's a super emotional day that isn't the norm I try to take that into consideration and work accordingly. We only school four days a week right now as it is and I don't pre-plan our day off most of the week so we take off the day that needs it most usually. Sometimes we make it Mon through Thurs with no issues and then have a nice leisurely Friday.

 

Thanks ladies! It seems to have finally gone back on track.
He wants to take Fridays off so we add up work to about three days of the week so to be able to recoup from another day off is unlikely. When we are done today - I will explain that in the future - blowing off a day is fine but it will mean work on Fridays and the loss of a special activity that we do plan for Fridays.

I need to work on not letting his attitude ruin my day though. It was tough!

 

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like you walk a slippery slope when you allow a child to avoid work in this situation. Obviously, all children, and all familiies, are different. If I let my son skip out on the rest of the day, that would become his new expectation, and he would hold out even longer next time. In this situation, we tough it out. I occupy myself while he whines, cries, whatever. I reiterate, calmly, that we have until bed time to get it done, so if he would rather use his entire day to do school, he is free to do so. He protests for a while, then, I think because he knows there is no alternative, he gets to work. I think if he knew there was a way out, he would find it, or attempt to find it, daily.

 

This is a very helpful conversation. I've wondered the same sorts of things myself for future reference. An additional question: do you sometimes feel like your kids try to get away with more of this sort of thing because they HS and you're their parent and not a stranger? It's something that comes to my mind frequently.

 

Yes I agree with you dumartin. We are not getting off schedule just because it's Monday and he does not want to work. We take Fri off only because we complete the work for Fri during the week by adding work to other days. I think there is a good lesson in that.
The only way I would let a day of work be postponed is due to illness or a major family issue.

And yes for sure I know he would not do this at school. He went to private school and he even admits he would never have acted that way there. Sometimes he had work to finish at home (not very often) and he accepted that and made changes.

What I really need to work on I have realized is how I react to it because quite frankly it was not my best and I am still feeling "worked up" about it. That's on me not him.

Everybody learns I guess.

Oh btw someone I know personally that homeschools said that they do a little bit of work on weekends to alleviate Monday. That sounds good to me - and to my son - so we will be giving that a go.

 

What works for each family is different.

What I do know is scientifically, if a person is stressed, their brain doesn't retain new info...they aren't learning. I do not force my children to do school. We aren't doing math over tears. It's not productive and it's not worth it, IMHO.

My boys are young (5&8) I designed my own curriculum to fit my children's needs. Our lessons are short because my boys have short attention spans. I don't demand more from them than they can give, which is one reason we started homeschooling, public school was demanding more from my oldest son than he could give.

There is almost always a way to add a little fun to any lesson on anything.

ANd, like 2littleboys said, there are ways to approach it that I don't think are lettign the child take advantage or manipulate the parents. It could be low blood sugar, it could be he doesn't feel well or didn't sleep well the night before, it could be a number of things. That's why we often try the things 2littleboys does when we hit that wall. A snack to get the blood sugar up, some exercise to get the energy out so the mind can focus or maybe just some quiet time alone in case it's simple over-stimulation or stress. I don't see taking these measures as 'giving in' at all but rather parenting for the child and situation, not the schedule...

 

In the past, I've told them that they don't have to do work now if they don't want to. Instead, I am quite content to let you take your free time now, and spend it staring at the paper, if that's what you want. So your free time tonight (after Daddy gets home, when your friends are outside, when your favorite TV show is on) will be spent doing your school work. (My personal favorite was when I said she could put it off until 6:00. That was fine, until she realized, "But I have soccer practice at 6:00!!!" "REALLY? Then I guess you'll have to call Coach and explain to him why you can't make it to practice tonight...." LOL! She was done in a half-hour!!!)

 

This is one more reason you home school-- take the day off! Have him take a book or a story cd or whatever educatinal thing to watch or rest with. We all need days of a break now and then.

 

I view education as a privilege that many children in this world are not fortunate enough to receive. If my children complain or whine they get to do extra chores. I give extra chores for two reasons. I want my children to appreciate the value of education and the life of privilege they are blessed to have. Some children have to work full-time so when my children complain they get to do a little of what those children have to do all day. Also, whining and complaining drains my energy so they have to help replenish my energy level by doing some extra chores.

There are effective and non-effective ways to communicate. Whining and complaining are not that. I tell my children that if they have a problem they can discuss it with me. I'll be fair, but they need to communicate without whining or complaining or crying about it.

As a teacher I take note of issues and patterns that come up and re-evaluate what we are doing or using to help my child attain more success.

 

Josie, I agree with you that some days just aren't good ones, and kids need a day to regroup and recharge on occasion. I was really just thinking about my child and what his goals are when he whines and protests. All children and all families are different, of course. Mine is a 9 year old with a knack for influencing others to achieve his desired outcome

 

>teehee< I've always been told never to pray for patience because what you'll get is a chance to develop it on your own!

I know what you mean about the foot-dragging, etc. Today was SUCH a good day with my DGS that the 3 big kids AND DGS got (just about) ALL their work done, and I had a chance to begin a music lesson with DGS! It doesn't happen often.... I'm holding my breath for tomorrow...

 

That is a wonderful knack to have....if used for good

 

I needed to read this post today. I just sent dd outside to play for a little while. We got started at 8:30 this morning and have accomplished math(after an hour of working on it vs the normally 15-20min it takes her to grasp the concept) and reading. I did have her help me make muffins before we started this morning and I know she had a hard time getting to sleep because I had to lay in her bed with her for a while to get her to sleep last night. I know though that the reason is that she is worried about her kitty who is at the vet. I know that so I am being a bit more relazed and understanding because she is upset and stressed and worried. That's her baby. In a little while I will have her come inside and we will do some more work. She needed a break though to go play w/ her animals and expend some energy in a fun way and help clear her mind some.

 

Thanks so much everybody for the ideas. I do love the flexibility of homeschooling but I def. don't want to start the precedent that if you have a bad attitude you get out of school.
This was not a he is not feeling well, tired etc... it was flat out bad attitude. The whining, complaining, feeling sorry for myself, ugly tone of voice attitude. I did give breaks, I did give snacks.

Thankfully eventually when he realized we were going to start moving on and doing things "as homework" he did start moving.

Afterwards - I had a talk with him about the whole situtation - if you do this you can either loose Fun Fridays or you can end up working after school "homework" because your bad attitude is not going to make mommy's day revolve around you - so I will present material and he can complete by himself.
On a proactive and positive note - we also discussed and agreed that it would be a good idea to do a few things from Monday on the prior weekend. I think just knowing that you don't have a full day of school on Monday would help him transition into the week.

And as for me - I will def. work on my attitude and not letting my 8 yr old dictate my moods. Truth is I am not a fan of Mondays either

 

I'm one who has to have a full day on Monday, or my whole week is thrown off. I even have trouble when there's a holiday on Monday! But you and I are different, and that's the best part of homeschooling...doing what works for YOU! It's definately worth a try!

 

one other think, When my kids acted up I often would allow the break but remind them shold they choose the break they would still have to complete the work -- we have fridays off if they get thier week done so that gave me a padded day.
be done by Thursday wth the full week or no friday, done by friday or no weekend

 

Great ideas - thank you ladies! Truth is homeschooling teaches you life lessons that school could never teach. For example today he was up at 6:30 doing some of his work because he was up. We are now almost done for the day and he got plenty of playing time this am too. Def. not something you can do at school. Love that he is starting to get that he has control over his time.