I do not even know where to start. I have a very caring, responsible, loving child that needs help when it comes to her education. She is 10. I have tried to homeschool but cannot get the exact kind of help that my daughter needs to learn here at home successfully. She has a hard time remembering things right after being told. I can tell her that 2 + 4 = 6 and she wil understand but if I say what does 4 + 2 = she will not be able to figure that out. When it comes to counting money she cannot grasp that and she is even unable to recall the alphabet from A to Z all the time. I am having her tested at the local school and will be enrolling her in the school also for the teachers help. However, they want to put her in the 5th grade . I don't agree with this. She will be pulled to do special help throughout the day but she is going to miss most of the 5th grade education. They say because of her age she needs to go ahead in the 5th grade and she will get extra help, but how can she ever catch up? I just do not know if I am letting her down. I feel terrible not being able to give her all the help she needs right here at home. I am getting so discouraged over not being enough to help her thru this. Please give any thoughts you may have. Thank you.
I'm trying to say this as gently as I possibly can. Get your diagnosis and their suggestions, see how it is they have planned it for her. Give it a decent chance, say, a semester. If miracles don't happen (I'm betting they won't), bring her back home. Expect that the evaluation process will take FAR longer than you think it should. I'm guessing that they'll want to put her in the classroom and observe what happens for a specified period of time, before starting any actual testings. They'll want to try different strategies and give them a certain period of time to see if they'll work (regardless what you tell them you've tried at home and for how long). Then they'll have to confer among themselves and come up with a written report. Then they'll come up with a plan, and meet with you to discuss it, then they'll finally get around to implementing it. All of that takes time. You are not letting your child down. You are making the best choices you can for your child according to what is known at the present time in the present situation. That's about all any of us as moms can do - the best that we can in the given situation. Keep us posted, will you? Let us know what the school says. There's probably someone here who has suggestions for you for specific ways you can help your child.
I second Lindina's words, give it a chance the can do their evaluation of her and give you some idea of her skills levels that you could end up home teaching her as well. IF it does now work out for her she may surprise you and catch on there but just in case pay close attention to how they are teaching her and see what they do so you can either work with her the same way after school or just keep it going when she comes home. Does it help for her to have visuals? hands on teaching always helps.
Don't get to worried about all of this. It used to be common to keep kids back in the 5th grade for either social or acedemic reasons. Most of these kids did better in the long run. I mention this because, you might even "miss" most of this school year before getting your student to a place where progress is being made again or getting the information you need to move on at home. Its is not the end of the world. Better you get to the bottom of the problems. IF it turns out to be just a stage or phaze or whatever, then it will all work out in that case also. Grades and being on schedule dont matter until High School if at all. You have plenty of time, most of every year is a repeat of the one before with a little more added on.
Regardless of her abilities you can do more for her than the school can, unless they have specific programs that she can enter with one-on-one attention if that is what she needs. Even if she remains at 4 grades behind her peers you can be there with her and for her all the way. If at school she may be labelled and bullied for it (I remember that at my school).
First-Breathe. 2nd-Most public schools don't care what level a child is on academically, they are put in grades by age. This is a totally normal response and arguing it with the school will just waste your energy. They will hold a child back but usually the most they will ever hold them back is a year. Some school districts might hold back a 2nd year sometime between K-12 but it's rather rare (and why you see intelligent kids who can't read graduating high school-by the time they are ready to read-those services aren't offered for that 'grade', so the kids just get pushed through every year.) 3rd-Don't expect her to catch up for where she is now to grade level in a year's time. You'll both be stressed and disappointed. Instead, focus on making steady progress. 4th-You ARE enough to help her through this. Celebrate the progress and encourage her each step of the way. She may not ever catch up to grade level, but she may (by grade 12) either way, if she is making progress that's a good thing! Whether you send her to PS or homeschool her, the key is making progress, not being on 'grade level' or 'catching up'
I love this advice. Your situation reminds me of a friend of mine whose son was told he had dyslexia around age 12. In my opinion, if the school paid more attention or cared enough, this would have been discovered at a MUCH younger age. Some of our schools have classes where kids aren't put in a certain grade. They are taught more individually (or as individually as possible since it isn't one-on-one, of course) and graduate with a special diploma. However, there are kids who get tested who score right at or right above the limit and they are placed in grades according to their age... and I, personally, think the school does them an injustice because some of them would be better off in the other classes. I would go through with an evaluation. In the meantime, I would go to the library or bookstore and get some books about different learning techniques and styles. She might be getting taught in a way that doesn't click with her and needs a different approach. Good luck. I'm sorry you're going through this.
I've been there........ This sounds just like my 10 year old. Exactly like him. We did have him tested at the school last year. And we offered to enroll him full time. (However in our state, kids can get the "help" they need w/o being enrolled with the school.) It does work though, the kids goes to the "special help" room, while the rest of the class is having the subject she needs help with. To be honest it sounds like your daughter will be spending most of the day in the "special help" class. But these classes are great, low numbers, more one on one attention and class work set at your daughter's level and pace. My son goes there for help in writing and math for an hour everyday. The teacher there has worked wonders with him. He's not to grade level yet, but he has improved greatly. I say give it a chance! So you at least know if it will work.
I wonder if your DD has dyscalculia? My DS12 has dyslexia. He was in public school, with an IEP for six years before I pulled him out a year ago. His school was doing nothing to help him learn to read. All those years spent in special ed, and at the end of 4th grade he could read nine words. Thanks to homeschooling he's reading! I recommend reading up on IEPs. Your DD has rights and you will be her advocate.
The special help class (or resource class) was a huge blessing when my dd was in ps. I think she got more out of that teaching then any other teaching she received at the school. I'ts fortunate that the school is offering that resource to you. Here in CA the budget is so bad that they are limited as to how many kids can receive special help. I agree with the other posters. As long as you see that progress is being made then call it a success Best wishes to you.
