Are there any other sandwich generation homeschoolers on the board? I could use some tips and encouragement. I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now and have a busy month ahead with homeschool stuff, family fun/kid stuff and caring for aging parent stuff and looking ahead just stresses me even more as I know my parents are rapidly aging and are only going to get worse and demand more and more of my time...Plus add the financial stress (my parents still have to pay our house payment and some bills that aren't due monthly that we just can't fit into the budget and paying all of my brothers bills cause he's a slacker and takes advantage of them...they currently both work but that isn't going to last much longer...) I'm just stressed!!! And public school is not an option.
Me?!? I think............ My parents are getting older and my dad has some health issues. We are considering moving back to Texas to help out. It would be good for my parents and the kids. And my parents are paying for our cable TV right now. They told us it was our Christmas and birthday gifts but I think it is they are coming for a visit and don't want to be w/o TV.
HAHA! It KILLS my parents that we cut off our dish! How can we possibly watch tv is we don't have dish!?!?!?! LOL Luckily we live next door to my parents (bought this place for this purpose because hubby and I knew this day was coming soon) so I do have that going for me.
Yep!!! MIL living here since Jan/Feb cause she can't take care of herself any longer. At first it was very stressful when you couple that with the fact it was my 1st year HS. We are learning to be flexible...save reading for dr appointments, what doesn't get done today we start with tomorrow. It'll get better, like everything else, once you get in a routine (somewhat). And hey, I get done what I can and if it doesn't get done and you don't like it - you do it or I'll get it when I can. Prioritize. I find that everything that just has to, gets done. You can do it! And if you look at it from a learning point of view, my son learns quite a bit about the health problems MIL has & how to treat them. He learns about history from her stories. He learns many, many things. So in some ways I look at it as an advantage also.
At times like you are describing, I always think of what my grandfather used to say: God never puts more on you than you can handle, but I sure wish He did not think so much of me. My time is coming with my MIL and I tend to get overwhelmed easily so I can relate. Here is what helps me: prayer, Valerian, and chocolate--actually too much in sweets makes it worse so I have to be careful with getting the right balance of chocolate, just because I really like it, and Valerian, because I really need it.
I understand. My own mother's health has declined to the point where she is no longer mobile and needs 24-hour care. She has a full-time, 9-to-5 home health aide during the week. Mom lives with my sister, and nights and weekends are left up to my sister and me. My MIL has Parkinson's and lives with us, so I care for her, too. My husband was laid off from his job last November. He has been working odd jobs here and there to keep us afloat, and while it is enough for now, we have had to cut back on a lot of the "extras." I was under a lot of stress last year, when we had to make many decisions about our mothers. This year, I've come to realize that I cannot do it all, cannot be everything to everyone, so I've stopped trying! I do what needs to get done daily, and if the baseboards don't get cleaned, or my family has to eat pizza while I drive to the neighboring state to take care of my mother, or I skip choir rehearsal, that's just the way it has to be. Just remember, as hard as it is, you need to make sure you take care of yourself.
Okay so I just googled Valerian, I've never heard of it )other than I did see you mention it in another thread) and it says it's for insomnia? Prayer I got though LOL
Wow. Bless you! My brother is in Florida so it's just me and hubby. And with hubby working nights and working sooooo much, he's to tired to help me any so I have more time to help them. He asked today about going back to days and was told because he didn't take the day position when they offered it to him like a month ago (because it means $1 less an hour) that he most likely won't get it now...even though he explained he was asking because my parents are getting worse...So, I guess after we finish getting the kids teeth fixed we're going to start job shopping for something better...
Valerian root is for calm. It won't put you to sleep, but if you feel calmer you might go to sleep easier. I tried it several years ago, but it made me burp, and the burp tasted very "green" like I'd been grazing in a hayfield all day...
And you know what it taste like to burp after grazing in a hay field all day how????? :lol: I might try it though, seriously...
Sort of I think. My parents aren't the ones needing the help but my grandparents are. We don't live too terribly far from them(around 30-45min) and I help any way I can. I help w/ dr visits if needed, and we use my car because all 3-5 of us can fit comfortably and it is tall enough that grandpa is able to get in and out with help. Believe me between the 2 of them there are lots of appointments. Grandpa has dialysis 3 days a week and they are both fighting cancer so there are those appointments, plus check ups and such. Then add in grandpa has been in and out of the hospital for a year now since his diagnosis with cancer. There are hospital trips. I try to go visit twice a month but sometimes that doesn't happen like it should. It is good for everyone though because they both think the absolute world of dd. However depending on the kind of days they are having and her health depends on if she goes with me or not
Actually, it is like a nerve tonic but it does not make a person feel drugged at all and it will calm the nerves. I take about four capsules when I know I am going to be nervous or stressed out before hand, like that time my daughter and I were to play a piano duet or I am to sing in front of people or have some dental work done as I cannot do numbing shots. Typically, Valerian takes off the edge so my hands stay steady and my throat stays relaxed and deal with the dental chair. I also take one to two capsules when I just feel a bit anxious or my mind is racing so I cannot rest. It is just helps me to stay relaxed enough to stay focused and work through--even enjoy--those moments of high stress instead wanting to run and hide in my bedroom to cry (and eat chocolate). I have used it for about twenty years and always have a bottle on hand.
I don't have time to go into all the details now, but we have had several seasons of caring for aging parents/ extended family. The bottom line: The most important thing is caring for your family. Children learn very valuable life lessons during those times. Example: If I was at the hospital the entire day, my children were forced to make sandwiches for themselves, heat a can of soup, make a salad. It is different when you are right there teaching them to make a salad and when they must do it on their own. Academics: Scale back writing assignments unless it is fill in the blanks. Beef up reading and don't discount the value of watching documentaries. At one point I required the kids to check out of the library a "history" book, a "science" book, and a documentary each. Even picture books are wonderful. Try to keep up with math lessons but scale back to 3 or 4 lessons per week. If you are teaching phonics and reading..same thing.. 15 minutes per day 4 days a week and your child will (eventually) learn to read. It is hard. I know. I undestand. ((( hugs ))) Pam
Josie, after reading a lot of your posts I was thinking you could be a writer! PM me if you already are or have a blog I can read! The stress can be bad but you can get through it. My parents have both been in heaven for abou tfive years now, one followed the other withing 6 months, my sis was the caretaker for one of them and her financial needs have never improved for long. Think of a way to make money from home while home schooling to help relieve some of your stress. My stress levels rise and fall cause we have two college students living at home. i have been listening to encoruaging music and suc ot reduce mie, taking walks too as I can!
If I take four capsules on empty stomach that can happen to me as well. Two capsules usually does not do this but I try to take Valerian with food or a few ounces of raw milk so that is not a concern.
Thanks ladies. I helped care for my grandmother too, but at the time I didn't have kids so it was much easier. Plus, my mom helped and on very, very rare occasions another daughter or grandchild would take her for a day... My only brother is....immature and selfish and has a temper so really, it's all me. He's currently living out of state as well.
I too have never heard of that. I don't think we count as part of that generation at this time. I guess it's coming. When we return to the states we plan to find a place that can hold both us and my parents. If not we will have a home and they will have a home close to us (same zip code for the first time ever).
