I'm at my wit's end. I'm six weeks in and things still aren't going well. The kids are hit and miss on their work. (Of course a grandparent visit and me being very ill for 12 days is not helping. That's like 3 weeks right there) My Kinder student is great! He would bring me his workbooks or work on the computer while I was sick. He'll do school work anytime, any place, any how. My other three! Grrrr! I'm so sick of them. It is a constant fight to get any school work done, they get distracted by the kinder's work. (So I try and move his work to when they're not here.) One is refuses to do anything, one (who has a LD) just does part of his work and claims he's done. And the oldest seems lost. (Except for Math!) I'm tired of making excuses and fighting them all the time. They can't seem to get anything done: chores or school work. I've even made a point (except when I was completely sick) to sit up in our "school room" and not do household chores or other tasks. I'm there to help keep them on task, to answer questions and to help them along. I'm at the point where I'm not sure I can continue on with all 4. If I could get a little help or a break it would be great! I've lesson planned, I've written out schedules for them, have expectation sheets. And nothing! The three of them are like poison to each other. When it is only 2, that's work better, but all 3 is like a circus. When do I know when to give this up?
We're on our way out the door to co-op so I don't have much time, but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I've been known to say to my kids, "this isn't a circus act!" Not so much with schoolwork, but with trying to take them out places, etc. I can take two or three at a time, but all four together and they seem to lose their minds. I'll come back post some things that have helped manage the circus at our house. Hope today's going a little better.
you can do this! I know you posted prior to this about the kidos, but I am wondering if the older ones are playing you? can you set up each of them a work box? I added things to my kids lists that were just plain fun in between the classes they hated and the ones they loved. I created a class schedule for my older kids and the younger of course wanted the same lol. I put them in order of the classes they did same stuff in together except for maths, I made sure that I could be individual for each one. So since Langage arts was a lot of reading we did that in sperate rooms the LA kids could do that in a dif room than Math was done. I spread my kids out around the house and went and checked on them in the best days! Can your older one do school in his room? Tell him you are going to treat him older and expect him to do the work as if he were in a big class, if he needs help give him a white board to hang on the door nob, and tell other kids they may not go in until after school work. Call it your High School class room even? my ds is 10th grade 15 right now, and I get the distraction mode, I am working trying to get him to turn off is game brain and ptu on teh learning one each day. I know that home school is best becasue when I see my kids misbehave and imagine them doing that same thing in class I know what would happen. So.. my encoruagement is you can do this! You just need helpful hints and new ideas and maybe a visit from MRs SLIP SKIRT? see my older posts on her...
my dd said to have you write in thier books what day they need to stop where, like Monday October 5th, stop here> that sort of thing, that way they can see where to stop, and ( I did that for a while ! Cool that she liked it!) they can now when the work is done.
What an awesome idea!!!!! My kids are hard to keep on task at times too. I bought them each a planner and every Monday morning we have a meeting and they write down every assignment for the week. This keeps ME on task too because over the weekend I have to get caught up on grading and evaluate where we are, and then write the assignments in my own planner. Having the assignments in the planner, for each day, helps them to see what needs to be done TODAY. They are allowed to take breaks, but not allowed to watch TV or play video games until all their work is done for the day. Good luck! Don't give up, just try something new!
Just a thought aince I lived near Sultan not too long ago....the Monroe school district offers classes like legos, dance, and I think they even do math and LA and other stuff. Would it help to have them do a few classes? I know when we lived there the weather had a HUGE effect on my kids and their behavior. It seemed to me that the kore we got out and I allowed them to do school stuff outside of the house the easier they were to manage at home. Feeling like you are stuck inside all day especially when the weather miserable can contribute to kids fighting. Since we have moved to a sunnier place my kids fight A LOT less since they have more time outdoors.
First of all, there will be days (or weeks) like this where nothing seems to get done. Whether it be due to illness, visiting relatives or holidays. Don't give up yet! Too soon! It sounds like you have a good backbone already with planning so now just impliment those plans. I like the idea of classes that the last poster mentioned. Good way to motivate the kids. Plus it breaks up the day for them knowing they have something fun to do later. Since you are a new homeschooler, I suggest scaling back the assignments a bit. Get them working on their own as much as possible (the older ones, I mean) and then increase the workload. If they see a ton of books and papers they tend to get overwhelmed and decide not to do anything (been there, done that!). Workboxes, or daily assignment sheets are a great way to do that. When they get to the end, they're done. As for the older ones behaviour, I agree with that it sounds like they're playing you. That needs to stop ASAP! Kids are notorious for that! I say get out the consequences and let them know the rules. When I was a newbie, I had similar issues with my oldest. She'd cause trouble and disrupt the day. Someone suggested that we have a family meeting and discuss my expectations for them. Write them down and have them sign it. Display it on the fridge where everyone can see it. This lets them know there will be ORDER to the day and THEY are responsible for their assignments and chores. When someone disrupts the others learning time or they are refusing to cooperate with YOU, there are CONSEQUENCES that will be handed down. Be sure and enforce the rules, too. Pretty soon things will start going smoother. Don't give up! Train them to cooperate! You can homeschool successfully!
I agree that this sounds like a disiplan issue with your olders. They should have clear "goals" to accomplish each day and if they don't they need clear consequences for their actions. Things such as, if your work in math then you can have 20 mins of video game time and I you don't you will go strait to bed after dinner, ect.
1st-Relax & breathe! How long did you say you would give homeschool? 6 weeks isn't a very long time, honestly. And when you throw life in (grandparents, illness) it's going to throw off even a veteran who has found their groove, I can only imagine what it would do to a new homeschooler with 3 tween/teens! Give yourself a break girl! Don't think you or your children are not cut out for it yet. Maybe your expectations are too high, for yourself and your kids? Starting slow and working up to a full load with several kids could be very helpful for all of you. I agree with ti's a discipline issue-since you mentioned they won't do chores either. I know I often get in a rut, life becomes mundane and I slack on discipline. When I do, you can bet the kids are going to naturally push the limits and take advantage. If I don't check it, their behavior gets out of control. Just recently, we all of a sudden 'noticed' the little one would scream bloody murder, stomp his feet & slam doors at the least little thing-if he was mad, if he didn't get his way, if he was told no, if he got mad at his brother, if he got mad at a toy LOL and sometimes for no apparent reason! This habit didn't develop overnight. But our response to it...it wasn't helping. Something HAD to be done! So, it became our #1 main goal, until the screaming, stomping & slamming stopped--that no matter WHAT-we'd drop EVERYTHING in an INSTANT to deal with the behavior. It took a lot of time out of my day for the first week. School work went unfinished, dinner burned one night, the dishes didn't get done a couple of days, the living room didn't get vacuumed but twice that week (we vacuum daily), the bathrooms didn't get cleaned daily...but in about 2 weeks...the behavior was under control. It took 2 weeks out of my life to do so, it had to become the main focus of his every waking moment-that the instant the tantrum started-I dropped whatever, even if it meant hubby had to fix his own coffee or house was messy or dinner was blackened. It was worth it! We moms (esp homeschool moms) have so much on us! It's easy to let this slide or that slide. But sometimes what we let slide causes us more problems and headache in the end. If your kids were in public school they would be given a rule book-it would lay out the rules and likely the consequences for breaking them, and they'd be required to sign it-so I think Mom_2_3's idea is great! Decide what the rules are (and be realistic) and then decide on consequences for breaking those rules. Figure out what works for YOUR kids. Try to make the consequences as natural as possible Like if they play sports...if they fail a test-they miss a practice (just like failing grades in PS would make them ineligible to play sports). Make a work before pleasure rule-no TV, phone, video games, sports, etc before until ALL school work is done. Or make them pay for TV time, phone privileged, gas for you to take them to events, etc. How do they earn that money? By doing the schoolwork! I don't see it as bribery-my hubby has to work or we don't get a paycheck to buy food and gas and pay the mortgage. I'd add up how much to charge for average amount of TV time, phone, video games, gas, etc they are accustom to and make the schoolwork pay that amount. That way they aren't "making money" off the schoolwork-but all schoolwork done means you get the privileges you are accustom to that you've been getting for free-but now they'll have to learn to earn them....
I believe that every child is cut out to learn, they just need the proper tools to learn. So yes, I do believe that every child is cut out for homeschooling. However, I also believe that the parents need to teach the student according to the students learning style and not according to how the parent learns best. I see a lot of this in homeschooling families and I also hear a lot of parents complain that it isn't working. The parent has a plan, but it is a plan that works for them, not the kids. I am not saying this is the case with you; I do not know your situation beyond your post. Still, it is something to consider. I also agree that there might be a discipline problem. Your older children are old enough to follow directions even if they do not like them.
So sorry it's rough for you now! We started homeschooling last year (the kids were 9,5 and 3 months). It was sooo hard until about February. I really wanted to quit at Christmas break, but my DH encouraged me to finish the year, which is what my goal was originally. I did finish and I am SO glad I did. Sometime around February things just started to fall into place. Sometimes it sucks, it really does. I missed my time with friends during the day that I could no longer have, I missed running errands, I missed a tidy house. You can do this! Stick with it for this year! I agree that with the older ones, it may be that they are just defying you. Set some rules, enforce them (loss of privileges, writing sentences, grounding, whatever it takes), if you're married, can you lean on your husband some for behavior correction and/or taking over a subject or two? And don't be afraid to put everything else on hold until you get into a good rhythm. Go shopping at night, forget some of the chores for awhile. Focus on making it work. You can do this!
Also, a homeschooling gal I know takes every Friday off. They have a longer year, but it gives her that day to not do school and get caught up on things. Maybe Friday could be an off day for everyone IF the kids finish their assignments during the week? If not, they do 'homework' and you still get your free day.
A few thoughts: Not every child is cut out for homeschooling and not every parent is cut out to homeschool. Do what is best for your family and each child. I'd consider if this was a discipline issue. There should be no free time, electronics, or any fun activities for a child who has not completed school work and chores correctly. I'd also consider if perhaps your children need a more interactive method of study. How long have they been homeschooling and have they been successful at working independently before?
This is what we have always done too. If the work for the week is complete we get friday off. Once a month if we are all caught up we get pizza for lunch
Definitely sounds like a behavior issue to me. We started a behavior chart a few weeks ago and it's helped tremendously around here. I found it on pinterest, it's modeled after the behavior charts they use in classrooms but was made by a mom for her own children at home.
Had the same issue with mine.. Younger ones were not getting the help they needed because I was always too busy tending to the teens.. They were old enough to be independant but they wouldn't do anything at all unless I stood over them and MADE them.. It was a constant fight.. I'm assuming that you are just starting out on this adventure.. It does take time for them to adjust.. So don't give up just yet.. My advice to you is that you stay consistant.. Have a plan mapped out for discipline issues such as not doing chores correctly= No TV for 2 days.. Just an example.. Have it written out and make it known that THIS is what you are going to do if they continue.. We had to do that.. And Their daddy had to get involved.. We actually brought back corporal punishment (don't throw tomatoes at me). Yes, My 16 year old has gotten a spanking or two lately.. But really, I think a lack of respect for you is what's going on.. I did finally throw in the towel with my boys and placed them back into public school this year.. It's been rough on them because they are behind simply for the fact that THEY didn't want to do the work.. So they are having to work double hard this year.. It was a hard decision because I KNEW they weren't where they should be academically but it wasn't going to change.. We had allowed the behavior to go on way too long.. Nip it NOW because the longer they are doing this the harder it is to get them to stop.. I doubt I helped you any but I do know what it feels like to have this going on in your home.. ((((hugs))))
Thanks everyone! If we had a like button, i'd like each and every comment. I had some volunteer work last week so computer time is nil. My kids have no free time, no TV time, no computer or video game time. I had to take away all their "free reading: books too. They are being terrors! This is the start of the third year of HS and I'm really upset. The olders just can't seem to get their work done. This morning I was doing ABC mouse with the Kinderstaudent and they all gathered around the computer to watch the computer games b/c they are "deprived". I do have hope in sight, next year #3 will go for a half day since he starts middle school. (Math, PE/Health and 1 other class) He's the one with the LD dysgraphia and dyscaluclia, and the best for for him to get help is to go to school part time. I think the main problem is the consenquences and my DH. I asked him last week to come up with some rules and consenquences if they break them and all he did was "lecture" them. I'm so tired of his lectures! and I'm sure the kids feel the sameway. Lectures are stupid and there is zero follow through. He won't change though. And I know it is something his dad did. I've tried suggesting books and website but he won't even bother reading them. I'm at the point where I'm thinking of asking our pastor to talk to us together. I sit at my desk and constantly remind them no talking, no playing with toys, (not suppose to be toys in this area but they creep in somehow), do your work, don't bother your brother. No you can't run off ect.... And it is a lack of respect! I know it, I just don't know how to get them to give it too me. I tried spanking but these boys are almost as big as me. I tried to wack their bottoms and ended up hitting other areas b/c they are jumping, ducking, and acting crazy, so I stopped that. (The whole 1 time). For the oldest I've talked about getting him in school part time. I can also enroll him in a co-op next semester. For now I'm thinking about adding Time4writing so we can have someone else hold him accountable for that part of his LA.
Two more ideas then.... 1: who homeschools them, you or dad? Is dad there during school time? My kids are younger, but our rules as parents are-whoever is with them at the time is the one who disciplines them. We don't do the "wait til your dad get home from work" or "when your mom gets back from the store she can deal with you" By doing that, passing the buck of disciple to the other parent, you are undermining your own authority with them. (though we have a rule if they do something 'big' wrong it might be an issue that needs to be discussed between the parents, but if so it will be discussed between us then we will dish out punishment together as a team, with a united front...ours are young so it's only had to be done once when my oldest stole something from my mom's house...) But simple disobedience, lack of respect for rules and people and not doing schoolwork is something I would handle on my own as I am the SAHM and homeschooling parent. 2: If taking things away doesn't work what about adding punishment? When you break the law they often you have a 2 fold punishment-one they take something away (freedom, jail time-or money,like a fine) and 2 they may make you do something, like community service. Maybe if taking away isn't work trying making them do something 'extra' as punishment-maybe yard work or cleaning their sibling's room or doing your laundry or some other 'extra' chore to "pay back" the person their disobedience or disrespect effects or volunteerism (through an organization like an animal shelter or even just helping an elderly person with housework or yardwork) Maybe if they are disrupting the little one's lessons see if they could tutor at a local boys and girls club helping an underprivileged kid learn their lessons so they can see 1st hand how they are making it harder on you. Just some ideas-I'm a fan of creative punishment. You can only ground them so much from Wii and TV before they don't care anymore and it becomes ineffective punishment because as humans we adapt and adjust to going without our TV and Wii. LOL
I homeschool but I thought if they could work with their dad to come up with rules and consenquences it might go better. (I'm mean and bossy and don't give out fair punishments) But dad didn't even try to do what I asked he just talked and talked. And chores is another HUGE issue. The three of them have mastered the divided we conquer principle. They all go in different directions and I can't keep up with all of them.
