Boys will be boys but this isn't the first time her son has shown excessive aggression. He's pretty strong willed and defiant. He can be very sweet at times and our families are very close. Her boy is 3. He bit my 5 year old while playing at their house this afternoon. He bit his back thru his shirt but broke the skin. It was pretty bad. She spanked him and required an apology. My son was pretty upset but handled it well after I talked to him about how Jesus forgives us and still loves us and wants relationship with us even when we hurt him. And how we need to be like Jesus. Although I did tell him to tell the other boy "I forgive you. Please don't bite me again." It's important to stress boundaries... So I didn't say anything to the mom cuz obviously she knows that wasn't cool. And we both already know our kids aren't perfect. But I don't know if I should say something later or just let it go and be more protective and preventative next time they play. I know she struggles with her son and its not for lack of trying to discipline. Perhaps a lack a consistency but I'm equally guilty of that. Anyway I just don't want my kids to continue to get hurt. Any suggestions?
I think you and the other mom handled it very well. If this child bites often I would not leave them alone together. We had a neighbor years ago whose daughter bit one of our twins on the face. I was keeping her during the day while her mom worked and the mom had told me to spank her if she was mean. Thankfully the bite did not scar but it was a bad bite. My husband said if I didn't spank her he would. I spanked her and told her mom when she came to get her and she was fine with it. She never bit our children again but she was always a rough kid.
I would leave it be. But I agree that you should be more vigilant when this child is around. Part of it is age; it's difficult for a 3yo to interact with a 5yo without getting frustrated. Not that I'm saying his behavior is OK (and you say this is "normal" for him), but even the most mild-mannered 3yo can lash out with a bite. Mom handled it well, imo. And so did you.
I agree that it was handled well and to just keep the kids close to you for future playdates. My son had his share of biting others (as well as being bit a few times). I just learned to stay close, and when I saw a situation escalating, I knew to step in BEFORE he got to the frustration point where he would lash out.
Marion went through a biting phase, and he bit Patryk through his shirt and broke skin. I bit him back (not hard at all) and he never did it again. Some kids just don't think about (or know) how much that hurts until it's done to them. The Mom did the best she could do under the circumstances, I think. Her response was totally appropriate. Yesterday a 3 year old I babysit for a few hours threw a wooden tractor and it whacked Beau in the face. Even though it hurt Beau pretty bad we all kept our cool and tried to explain it to the other kid. He has some maturity issues, and nobody pays much attention to him at home, and we think he was just trying to get Beau's attention. Sad situation, but anyway.....
When things like this happen, I'm more concerned about how the other parent handles it. It seems she dealt with the situation in a very appropriate way. She didn't blow it off, or try to excuse her son. She let him know in no uncertain terms that his behavior was out of line and wouldn't be tolerated. Like others have said, I'd practice greater diligence around him.
Thanks everyone. I was pretty happy with how the whole thing played out. I felt even better when she texted me this morning to see how my son was doing. She also said sorry and that she spoke with her son about it again this morning. A few years ago I prob would have been much more upset and possibly ruined the friendship over it. Thank God I've grown! I agree with you ladies to just let it be. Its one thing if she asks me for advice on handling some of his behaviors (we are quite close and it's a common thing for us to discuss discipline). But I don't see the need for me to bring it up. I really think it will just hurt her. Thanks for the encouragement and letting me bounce the situation off you ladies.
