I'm new to the spot, and I've been looking for a good forum to get advice from. I have a 14 year old daughter, an 12 year old daughter, and a 9 year old son. Were homeschoolers and lately my 13 y/o has been complaining about how she wants to go to public school. I don't know why she would think of this as we have been homeschooling her through K and all of her friends homeschool too..... It's been fighting and yelling for the past month between us and I don't know what to do. Do any of you have advice or know why she's acting this way? It's getting WAY too crazy and my poor younger kids have to deal with it
High school on TV is portrayed so much better than it really is, especially since your girl is 14 and the whole dating concept has come into perspective. Is there any boys in her art-co op? I agree that it's hard to fight with your child, and you can't get the point across that you're doing what's best for them; we've all been there. Maybe the problem is just that she's lonely. I would try to socialize her in her art co-op and maybe even find a teen group for her. That way, she can feel like she's a part of something, rather than just sitting at home all day.
I agree with ebrookelyn, see if you can find teen clubs for her to join. I don't think she's going to like high school once she gets there. Let me give you a little look into public school. Up at 6:00AM to catch a bus at 7:00AM. School starts by 8:00AM in most places and you go from class to class, with only 3 to 5 minutes between class to socialize. Each teacher thinks they are the only class your child takes, or the only important one, so they ALL pile on homework to the tune of 30 to 60 minutes per day. Lunch has become a joke in most schools, where kids at the back of the line get about 4 minutes to gulp down their lunch, which with the new health standards schools follow now, is not big enough to feed a 4 year old, and tastes like cardboard (the cardboard reference I've heard from several students this year). At the end of the day you get home about 4:00PM and have about 3 hours of homework that night. Talking with high schoolers in our youth group, they all stay up until 11:00 at night in order to finish their homework. I'd ask your daughter if all that extra time is worth the few minutes each day she'd have to socialize around her locker. I went to public school and my favorite memories were the pep rallies, marching band, PE class, walking around town during "study hall", and walking to the pizza shop across the street at lunctime. Things have changed though. Most schools don't let kids leave at lunch anymore, and lunch hour has been reduced from 60 minutes down to about 25 minutes. Things are so structured now, that kids have little freedoms to walk around and socialize. Study hall kids have to stay in the study hall classroom. From what I've experienced volunteering at school and talking with the kids I know, most of the "fun" stuff has been taken away in order to make the schools safter. Good luck with this!
My dd went through the same thing at that age. It's grass is greener syndrome. She, having no experience with regular school, believed (and I think she probably still does) that school was all sunshine and rainbows with all of the children happily cooperating and the teachers cheerfully pouring knowledge into the the heads of the kids who learned effortlessly. She can/could only see the positives of school and none of the negatives. She got to be pretty snotty about it. She was such a pain that I was tempted to put her in. As one who bucks schedules and authority, she would be miserable. However..... God's will for our family (and subsequently MY DAUGHTER) is homeschooling. I KNOW this deep inside, as I desperately searched my heart during a difficult time in my life. I will not allow the whims of a child to dictate whether or not I am doing God's will just because she's being a pain. Second, I told her this. Lovingly, compassionately, trying to understand her viewpoint, I told her that God wanted us to do this. Until He changed his mind, fulfilling God's will for her life meant submitting to her parents in this regard. When he changed his mind, since dad and I are the authority, He will tell us when it is time for a change. It was not necessary for her to continually bring it up or complain about it. I told her that each year, I sought the Lord in prayer about this issue and I was certain that this is where we belonged. The subject was now closed and if she had complaints, she needed to take them to the Father in prayer. Then I asked, what part of school does she think she's missing out on. If it is social opportunities, I needed to provide them for her. I believe though that in the next few years my dd will come around. She's getting a job opportunity that she would not have available if she was in school. She will be able to graduate early and take college classes in high school. She is a child now and in time she will understand.
Have you asked her why she wants to go to ps? She may feel she is missing out or she may want some independence from you as her teacher. Do you belong to a co-op where she takes classes from other teachers? You might look at on line classes for some of your work. Once you know why she wants to go back you can sit down and discuss the pros and cons of it. You might even want to arrange a day of shadowing so she can see what school is really like. She may have a romanticized vision of "school" and when confronted with the reality she might change her mind.
