How come it took me so long to realize that learning doesn't have to be so forced and boring and task heavy? My son is about to graduate and when he was in 9th grade I started a very long struggle to figure out just what the "ideal" way to homeschool is. I never found a magic curriculum. I did, however, find that the more I worried the worse homeschooling became and the more strained our relationship became. It seems that, as in other things, in life the more we try to force things to be "just right" the less they are "just right." My son and I are for the most part enjoying his senior year and it has been a very relaxed year. We just got done doing a review over some algebra (he is doing consumer math this year) and it went REALLY WELL. He knew how to do all of the stuff and only had a few common questions along the way. This is stuff that was difficult when we first did it a couple of years ago. My son once told me, "I like learning, I just don't like school." I think he would have flourished at a time where learning wasn't so strictly dictated in a school environment. I wanted in some ways to become an unschooler but I couldn't let go that much. I am, however, content that our relationship is better, my son feels better about himself and I am not stressed out every day.
I know where you are coming from. I have always wanted to unschool, but have never had the nerve. We are fairly laid back with out schooling, and I am often questioning my choices. One day I'll be confident in my choices; the next I am worried that they aren't going to be prepared. The great part is that my husband and I have great relationships with our kids.
Because you are getting to look at it from the other end LOL! You can look back and see the success and see the young man your son is now, so now you can relax and say, "Huh, I could have really done this with way less stress and he would have been fine". Hindsight and all that. But that really helps those of us in the middle of our journey who are struggling with wondering if we are doing enough. We can listen to those who have gone before and found out that we really aren't going to screw up our kids. I really do appreciate you sharing your hard earned insight.
Clumsymom (love that name) and Leissa, It really was a struggle. I started homeschooling him in the 7th grade and he had already hated school. I was in a place that homeschooling would be just like public school because that was just how the system was supposed to work. I didn't even have it on my radar to do ANYTHING different. About 2 years into homeschooling, it really hit the fan. I thought I would just have to be miserable for the next four years and fight my way through this. Then... I spoke to people at co-op. I asked questions. I researched homeschooing on the internet at various websites and forums. I went back and forth about this and that and everything in between. I felt elated. The next day I panicked. I felt joy again. The next day I felt like a failure. One of my new beliefs is this: Your relationship with your kid(s) is the most important part of homeschooling. THE MOST IMPORTANT part. Hands down, no doubts in my mind, no second guessing involved. So to the both of you, if you have a good relationship with your children, you are in a nutshell doing a great job homeschooling. If kids have a great relationship with their parents, they will have the confidence to get through the tough stuff. They can learn what they need even if it is on a different timescale. Anyway, I can go on and on, but it really is hard to put into words. I will give some websites that helped me tremendously: http://chrisdavis.wordpress.com/2010/09/28/dancing/ (a lot of articles about trips to Israel, but a great number about homeschooling also) http://homeschooloasis.com/article_chart.htm And there is a great book called I Saw the Angel in the Marble. You can probably find a used one out there somewhere. No, I won't lend mine out, I don't want it out of my sight.
I am so i the same boat! I would normally be stressing out over the way ds and i have been doing his lessons this year( he is a sophomore) I do still have a few AAAA! moments but mostly I am giving him what he needs to do, and he is doing it at whatever pace the day we have planned has put before us. We will finish early, he is getting most of his answers right the first time and its been nice!
Funny, I just blogged about our last week of school, and also decided stricter, more curriculum based school I had been planning for us for next year...probably isn't going to work...not for us. We have unschooled, and you know what, it works for us! If I follow our natural flow and do what works for us, we're best described as Christian Unschoolers with a CM flair. It's just who we are. It makes for a happy mama and happy kids. They enjoy learning, I enjoy homeschooling, they learn so much...it just works for us! My kids like read alouds, they like to do projects (which allows us to did deeper and get some hands on stuff going with our read alouds) and they like to discuss things, ask questions and they like to learn! Though I am excited about MoH so I am going to try to do that with them, just because ti looks soooooo good and fun. I'm thinking if we dig deep and stretch vol 1 over 2 years instead of 1, I think (hope) they will love doing it. But really, they ASK to reading and math now so that's covered. They both like to write stories, so that that's covered. Science is NEVER a problem here and we cover the arts (art & music) pretty well too, and living books have been working really well for SS for us so really, we're good. Totally good. No need to plan out fancy lessons....No need for me to stress...no need for me to force them to do this or that for school...
Josie, I would imagine that your type of homeschooling really works especially when you start at a young age. My son had it already in his mind that he didn't like school. However, if I had know 6 years ago that school, or better yet-learning, could be done without all the coercion then I would have gone for it and we would have had some better years.
