Our oldest daughter is turning 13 next week and is typically a good, responsible kid. We let her babysit, trust her with pretty much everything and are pleased with her maturity (most of the time.) She is friends with a bunch of kids and teens at church and many or most of them are on Facebook and I am FB friends with them as well. Well, now Madison (the almost 13 year old in question) wants a facebook account. She is a pretty passive kid and doesn't push the limits for things but she has asked for FB several times, each time getting the answer that I am thinking about it. I am thinking that as part of her birthday I might present her with the username and password to a FB account set up for her and a contract that she and I will read, go over and sign about social media expectations. Thoughts? Suggestions? Advice? Anything.
I allowed my teens to set up an account on their 13th birthdays. They loved it being a part of the day. I am their "friend", and I have their passwords. Neither of mine have used it inappropriately, but I have made them un-friend kids who use bad language or post inappropriate pics (and those were mostly church friends ). I don't friend their friends unless I am requested by them.
My 15 year old has an account. I set it up, and have complete access to the account. I check it regularly. She knows I will take it away in a heartbeat if she abuses it. She rarely uses it anymore, and she needs permission to accept a friend.
Same here I think my daughter was 14 or something and the agreement was I would have full access and friends with her and check sporadically. Overall she is a great kid and has never misused it, there was one time someone made an inappropriate comment to her and she deleted it and unfriended him. She is now 18 and she is rarely on it anymore, so it's been fine here! Good luck!
Garrett got one at 13, hubby keeps track of it more than I do, and really he isn't on it very often. Hubby "cleans house" on Garrett's if he notices too much vulgarity or whatever coming from Garrett's friends.
I would too, as long as the teen was a "good" teen. Any kind of nonsense though and we wouldn't, because it's such a big responsibility. My husband personally knows people who have been declined jobs cause of what they posted on FB. So...yeah would have to be a very good kid for it. And still we would constantly be checking it, and only IRL friends/family.
Our youngest is 15 and has had her facebook for a couple of years. She enjoys it and knows it is checked by her older sister and by me. (The sister is one of our twins who is 36 and protects Emily as much as I do.) I get crazy looking at some of her friends' pictures and we talk about how bad some of them are. I trust her to be smart and so far she has been.
Ok, I'm feeling a little better about it knowing that I'm not alone in allowing it. At least, I think, we'll allow it. This feels like such a big step. Ugh.
It took me a while to allow Rachael to have one, but it really was a good thing for her. Phillip is 13 and has one. He keeps in touch with friends from Youth Group, and with kids from camp. My kids must have dh and I as friends, and they know we can get onto their page any time we want. (Rachael jokingly calls us "creepers"!) Also, my kids aren't permitted to have a fb friend that they haven't met in real time. Yes, there are exceptions, but only with special permission!
We only allow friends who they have actually met, too (with exceptions). DS does have a couple of friends (OK'd by me) who he met through an online homeschool group. He has so many friends from scouting events that I'm constantly asking him how he knows people from other areas of the country! He was gifted a trip to National Jamboree this year and the friends list grew even more. Since we have moved so often, it does allow my kids to keep in touch with friends from other places.
My DS15 has a FB account he got when he was 13. He never uses it. I think it was just appealing at 13 to finally be old enough to have an account. But the novelty wore off after the first month. My daughter turned 13 last month and once asked about getting an account, but seems to have forgotten, and I haven't reminded her! DH and I do require the kids to take an internet safety course online before they are allowed onto social media sites.
This is sort of a rite of passage now a days like getting ears pierced or getting a learner's permit used to be for us as kids. My dd turned 13 last month and we set up her account together. We did go over a few ground rules and I do know her username and password. My 12 year old can't wait until next year when she can get an account. My 13 year old hasn't done much on her account besides post a few pics and countdown to the new Dr. Who and a few other things she is interested in right now.
Our Sheriff's office has an internet safety class they will set up for a group of middle school/high school kids.
I guess it's just another privilege that comes with responsibilities. One of my profs made this DVD. http://www.heritagebooks.org/produc...n-to-Use-Technology-to-God's-Glory-(DVD).html
Both of our kids have Facebook. They really don't go on it much. In the beginning they did, but the novelty of it has worn off. Each time we've had to consider a new privilege for our kids, we also considered what the boundaries, guidelines or rules will be. For example, when they got their cell phones, they had to be placed in our room at a certain time each night. So they didn't have their phones in their rooms at night. With Facebook, they were allowed on each day for a certain amount of time. So they couldn't sit on FB for hours. Of course, we have their passwords and are their friends on FB. If any of their FB 'friends' ever post anything inappropriate, they are to unfriend them. If it's a relative, we 'hide' them. If the rules were broken, then they lost privileges. And we always tell them that when you have been faithful over a few things, I will set you over many things...they get more freedom when they prove themselves responsible with the freedom they have. As they get older, we want to release them little by little, giving them more and more freedom. If they're going to make mistakes, I'd rather it be while they are living at home.
