I have two needs that I would like to be lifted up in prayer.. The one in my title is an urgent matter.. For several years I have been hearing that a friend of my boys is being abused by her parents.. I thought maybe it was just teenage perception of what is going on.. They said that the parents would even keep her from eating and she would save food from her tray at school because of it.. Today, she came to school with bruises all over her.. My boys haven't seen her yet, but another friend told them.. Said her dad beat her up.. They are on their way to a game at the school and are going to find out straight from her what's going on.. If she does in fact have bruises on her like they were told, I'm going to step in.. Please pray for her safety and for her parents as well.. I don't now what's going on.. They may be at their witts end with her for some reason and anger is now taking over the situation.. I don't know.. Second, My daughter has a friend who is not in the best of situations.. I took her mom to get her stuff from her xhusbands mom's house.. ex is in prison, her Ex-MIL kicked her out and now they are living in a hotel.. There's a LOT to this story and my heart goes out to them..
So, we had a chance to talk to the girl and she has two black eyes and a bruise on her forehead.. She had them pretty well covered with makeup but you could still see them. Said she was being disrespectful to her dad so he beat her in the face.. She needs to be punished for that, but not smacked in the face and left bruised.. She's coming back tomorrow to talk with us again and we told her our door is open at all times if she needs it.. She lives 2 blocks away from us.. Her parents will have to know where she is, but our home is the "safe house" for kids like this.. I can't tell you how many we come into contact with.. It breaks my heart.. We don't want to overstep our bounds either.. Parents should be able to disipline their children without fear of CPS getting involved, but leaving bruises on the face is NOT ok! This is abuse in my book.. Trying to be careful and not make it worse on her..
1) That isn't discpline... that's abuse and every person has a responsibility to report suspected cases of it. I urge you to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact child protection... her life may depend on it. The calls are typically anonymous and they will act quickly (especially so if you tell them she has multiple bruises covered with make up). *Knowing that a child is being abused in any way, though we haven't actually laid a hand on them, if we don't step in and contact CPS, we might as well be the ones doing the abuse because our inaction (in my mind) is just as bad as the actual abuse itself. 2) If someone doesn't step in by contacting CPS, that poor angel is going to be scared for life thinking it's normal to enduring those kinds of beatings and if she has children of her own, they're going to be abused the way she's being abused. PLEASE contact CPS and let them protect her as she needs to be
If the girl admitted that she "needed discipline" for being disrespectful, she's been enduring this sort of thing for years. Take a picture without makeup before the bruises go away. Call CPS. I had to do that once, and that was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But the child was immediately removed from the home which was the best thing that had ever happened to her in her 8 years of life. She is now adopted by another family and doing absolutely wonderfully, and her birthmother's parents whom she dearly loved (and lived with from time to time) still get to visit with her.
I was a foster parent for over 20 years and saw a lot of bad things happen to kids so it is a subject close to my heart. Please call and get that child some help now. She needs someone to help her. It breaks my heart that people have been talking about this child for years and she is still being abused. Please help her find a way out of this. Her parents may just need some help or she may need to be removed from the home. Whatever needs to be done, she does not need to have two black eyes. You can call the police right now and they can get social services involved. Please keep being there for her. She is going to need you and your kids for support.
What I think we are going to do is contact the school Monday and let them know what's going on and have them take over from there.. They have to, by law, report it.. I'll also call CPS myself.. I asked her if she was the only one that this happens to and she said her brother gets it too.. Her sister gets away with everything. Said she can be late at curfew and nothing happens, she's late by a few minutes and she gets smacked around by her dad. My husband said that she seemed so calm about it all that he was suspicious.. I disagree with him.. To me, this would be the same as when spouses are in abusive relationships.. They begin to believe that they disserved it and it starts to mess with their head.. I grew up in an abusive home.. I wasn't abused but my brother was.. Never bruised but horrible punishments for things he couldn't help, Like bowel issues.. He would have to wear his dirty underwear on his head.. Also, having to stay in the "push up position" for hours on end.. Whenever he started to go down he would get smacked with a belt.. I never understood why anyone didn't do anything about this.. Our family knew.. My mom was not abusive, but neglectful.. sleeping all the time. Filthy house,no food, ect.. Knew that my sister and I were molested by someone and still allowing them to be around us.. Crazy stuff that aggrivates me when I think about it.. Part of why I am as protective over my kids like I am.. I REFUSE to allow them to go through anything like that if I can keep it from happening... I try not to be mad at them for the things they allowed us to endure because I HONESTLY believe that God had a plan in those things, And that he WILL use them to glorify him.. I gave my life to him a LOOOOOONG time ago.. He is in control!
While I agree God can and will use things like this to bring about good, it IS NOT His will for children (or spouses) to be abused. Discipline is necessary in a family, but this IS NOT discipline. Children's Services needs to be called in.
Around here anyone who witnesses this kind of abuse is obligated to report it (maybe it's a Canadian thing - I know I can lose my nursing license if it is within a work situation and I don't report it. PLEASE don't wait I tend to agree with him that it is suspicious (in that she's been abused for such a long period of time that it has become her norm). Depression? PLEASE don't depend on the school system to act. Make the call yourself
Y'all please be in prayer that this is taken care of QUICKLY!! And that no more harm comes to this girl as a result of us contacting authorities.. I don't have much confidence in the local CPS agency here.. Been down this road too many times before and NOTHING done.. This may be differant since there is physical proof.. Thanks
Did you already call and report this? I hope so but was asking because it is usually harder to get someone out on the weekend. Please keep us updated if you can. I have thought about the young lady a lot today and am praying for her safety. If you ask for the agency to get back to you about how this was handled the should do it. Well at least that is the way it works here. They don't have to tell you everything but they should let you know if she is placed away from the parents or if she is getting some other type of help. And they are not supposed to tell anyone who called them to report it.
Hoping the call to CPS has already been made. And bless you for caring enough to get involved. I grew up with abuse and if someone had called CPS, it could have saved years of heartache. I send you hugs and am so pleased that you have the heart to reach out on her behalf!
The abused girls non emotional discussion of abuse is not abnormal. Many times kids in such households learn not to show emotion externally because it is a trigger for abuse. Quite often the feeling of guilt is a trigger for rage in abusive people. Also showing disappointment or joy, or giggling about something funny, any show of emotion can trip off unpleasant responses that are disproportionate. Mentally ill people are often illogical in their responses as well as unpredictable and those who live with them often quit showing any reactions to anything in life and instead seem non-plussed by everything.
