Hi everyone. My son's last day of public school was November 22nd. We took the week off for Thanksgiving break and our official start date is tomorrow. I did some reading about de-schooling. I'm wondering if he needs more time to undo some of the things he picked up at school. One of the main (along with many others) concerns with him at public school was the absolutely terrible behaviors I personally witnessed in his kindergarten class. His preschool classes were better behaved! Because of the stress in the class and my son's sensitive personality, he seemed to absorb a lot of it. He was well behaved in class but as soon as he got home, he unleashed it all on my husband and me. He has always been a well behaved child who very rarely gave us any issues before kindergarten started. Well, we've taken the week off and his behavior seems to be worse, rather than better. Has anyone had a similar experience? I'm hoping it's like any other detox, it gets worse before it gets better. I just don't know what to do and I'm hoping we made the right choice with homeschooling. Thanks!!!
I'm thinking that perhaps the detox does get worse before it gets better. Does he know he's not going back? Maybe he's anticipating that HOME SCHOOL will be just like SCHOOL only at HOME. HOME should be nothing like SCHOOL. Maybe he's anticipating that Mom will be like having his schoolteacher 24/7. Mom should be Mom. I think the "formula" is a month off for every year spent in school. For some it should be more, for some less. For him, that would be like a month and a half (preK and K?) with nothing even remotely "schooly". When you do start, try to start gently. It's all well and good to have boxed curriculum or a full set of books for every subject, but starting up with a full schedule can be stressful. After the start of the New Year, you could present a little reading/phonics, maybe a little math a week or so after that... EASE him into it, perhaps without worksheets, just in the course of what you do in a day, or perhaps some few pencil/crayon/marker tasks or color/cut/paste tasks without pressure. If he resists, drop it and try again later. He's just in kindy. No rush! He has the next 13 years to "get it", and he will.
Humans don't like change, even good change. Change cases stress. Even small changes. Children are more likely to be apprehensive about change, because they fell they have so much less control than adults, and they are still trying to figure out how the world works in general, throw a wrench of change in there and most kids will act out in one way or another. My advice for a child that age would be don't plan anything academic for the rest of the year. Just relax and explore his world with him naturally and organically. Read books to him he chooses, watch educational shows, play educational games, go for nature walks, cook together, play together... don't fret about when to start a curriculum. Give him time and extra love and reassurance, you'll both be fine. Let him adjust to leaving school then work on the adjustment to homeschooling. My oldest wanted to homeschool, was looking forward to it, was excited about it...but it was still an adjustment for the entire family when we started homeschooling, especially for him coming out of public school.
Welcome to homeschooling! It seems to me that different families feel different needs for de-schooling. Some kids do better with routines and might do better to start fairly quickly into the new routine that you want with homeschooling. I don't know what your curriculum choices are, but if it was me I would be tempted to either take time off until after New Years, or do "school" that has to do with the holidays. There are some fun holiday units for free on homeschool share. http://www.homeschoolshare.com/connections__christmas.php
I agree with Ange, that I would probably wait to start any formal schooling until after New Year's. I'd pack the next few weeks with fun educational activities (maybe a Christmas Around the World study full of books and fun things to make and do). It's actually a great time of year for fun stuff! My oldest was the only one to go to public school. I waited until the beginning of the school year to begin, so he had no period of de-schooling, but a long summer break to adjust.
So he's in kindergarten now? First of all, I agree with Angie, too, about waiting until the first of the year. And even then, go at it easy. He's young. Do a lot of fun Christmas stuff. Read Christmas stories, draw Christmas pictures, bake cookies, make ornaments for the tree, make a gingerbread house.... Even in January, do the school more on the sly. Play fun games that are learning, too. Go with his interests. AND ENJOY HIM!!!
Thanks everyone! We will definitely ease into things and have a relaxed December. It's just hard since we are starting almost halfway through the year. I'm kind of starting from scratch though since the curriculum I'm using is so much different than what they were using in his class. My only fear is that he will be behind if we find an alternative option for schools next year. Right now, and as long as we are living in our current area, homeschooling seems to be what is best at this time. Who knows, I may still feel this way even if we were to move to an area with more educational opportunities. I'm praying that things go well and we will want to continue either way Thanks again for the support and advice. I look forward to reading and posting more on here as we go along!
Just spend some time with him at first. Do things he enjoys. Then play some games and watch a few short videos and look at websites and things like that. Go to the library and a book store and things like that. Take walks in the park or visit a zoo. Get him talking about things with you and impart tidbits of information. Read books to him and overall let him realize that spending time with mom as teacher is totally different than being at school.
I would also relax and go with the flow for a while. It's not like he'll stop learning! it's just that he doesn't learn exactly what someone else has decided he should learn. It's ok if he isn't at the same level if he enters school again, he'll catch up quickly, I'm sure! Have you asked him how he's feeling? He could be bored, or he could feel it's his fault he's been taken out of school? If he'd been working hard to be nice at school and still got taken out, he might feel like he's stuffed up? There could be all sorts of odd things in his head, as that's normal for his age. Kids don't think like adults! I'd sit down with him and ask him what he thinks, feels and wants and show that you will work together to get him what he wants and for him to feel good.
I faced a similar problem with DS and I think it came from all the talks we had with him about how he would learn from school now. The way he saw it was a threat to everything he loved. Home was a place he created good memories, where he is loved, cherished, can create without being told it was "wrong" or "stupid". And to convert this place to a school? Can you imagine the trauma. Luckily, we took him off school exactly at the same time as you and had decided that we would only start in the New Year. I spent that free time making sure that whatever curriculum I picked catered to HIS way of learning. We spent a lot of time doing holiday crafts, watching a movie a week and then doing kinesthetic activities like going bird watching or scavenger hunting. At the end of this time, I think he realised that homeschool is not equal to "school school" Your son will be fine adjust to the routine very soon and will be back to his angelic self, I'm sure. He's so lucky to have someone as patient and loving as you in his life.
