Home churching? What to use?

Discussion in 'Homeschooling' started by Maybe, May 13, 2014.

  1. Maybe

    Maybe New Member

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    My dh no longer wants to attend church. We have not been to church in a while. It is largely related to where we live and a lack of good choices that match our beliefs in our area. However, I still want to give my children a biblical education. I want them to learn the Lord's Prayer and Apostles Creed and to read the bible, and so on.

    I guess I kept holding out that we would eventually settle on a church. But we cannot. To be honest, one of the final straws was the church we had belonged to for years gave us a hard time about not donating enough money. The pastor called us in and said our children were not welcome in VBS or Sunday school because we had not donated enough. We had given what we could. But they even charged for VBS so our older children had never been to VBS when we could not afford it. Then we had started to pay for VBS and then after a couple summers, the person in charge refused to enroll our children. We went to the pastor who turned to the computer in front of us and told us exactly how much money we had given the church in the last year and then told us we had no business asking anything of him when we had given so little. And we had actually given a lot that year, but we live in an area where most people are wealthier than us.

    I know many will argue with us and tell us just to go, but for now, that won't happen, and I would like them to have a religious education in the meantime.

    Suggestions? Something for multi-ages would be best. They are 10 and 12 yrs old.
     
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  3. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    Find a better church. I'm horrified you were treated like that. Better options exist.
     
  4. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    Also, go to church to say goodbye, and tell anyone who will listen what happened to you. That preacher needs to be slapped upside the head. Greedy creep.
     
  5. Jackie

    Jackie Active Member

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    I honestly don't believe in doing a "home church" unless there is a group meeting together in a home.

    BUT I guarantee you I wouldn't attend a church that 1) charges for VBS, and 2) tells you that you don't "give enough". First time that happened, they would see the backside of me REAL quick!!!

    (BTW, the church where we currently attend, the pastor makes a point to NOT know how much people give!)
     
  6. Shelley

    Shelley New Member

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    You might look at this publishing group: https://www.lampquill.com/

    Basically, all ages can do the exact same Biblical passage--- just on a different level.
     
  7. kbabe1968

    kbabe1968 New Member

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    We've had similar church experiences. And not isolated ones, several of them. We home-church as well. My husband leads. He does have a gift of teaching, so it makes it a bit easier on us.

    I will ask if he has any suggestions.
     
  8. Lindina

    Lindina Active Member

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    Wow! I am floored! I've never heard of a church where the pastor knew how much each member gave, nor of one that charged for VBS or Sunday School! I'd have been outta there in a heartbeat!

    It's hard to recommend something without knowing what might be a good match to your beliefs, but I would suggest that maybe you can go to a website run by the denomination that matches most closely, and see what they have for their own churches to use. For example, the Southern Baptists have Lifeway that publishes/sells Sunday School and VBS materials.

    I, like Jackie, think you might should have some other folks come and join you for church. Are there any friends you could invite? Any acquaintances? Any strangers?
     
  9. featherhead

    featherhead Member

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    We have a large church in town here where they are required to show their pay checks to the pastor and elders so they know if they are giving enough. When I first heard that I was shocked at how many people attend that church and are members. Though if you leave that church, you will be shunned by the members, and they may possibly spread lies about you to ruin your reputation. The pastor even disowned his own child who wouldn't follow some arbitrary rule he had made.

    That being said, it is very important to meet with other believers. We read in Hebrews 10:23-25 "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

    I hope you can find other believers to fellowship with, whether that be in a church, or your own home.
     
  10. shelby

    shelby New Member

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    Oh My! I am completely troubled that this man would tell you that! I do our church books, so I know what people give and who doesn't.. but that does not mean I would TELL anyone or if they don't give enough hold it against them... come on the Bible tells us to give our tithes and offerings... that means give what you can, give your tithes.. and that is no ones business! NOT even the church treasure.! And charging for VBS... money hungry is what this church is... I would leave and not look back! I hope you can find some resources to help your family. I agree with Jackie and Lindina find some others to fellowship with your family..
     
  11. Shilman

    Shilman New Member

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    I am so sorry to hear of your experience. God knows your heart, so you need to do what you feel is best for your family. I do agree that corporate worship is an important part of being a Christian, but if you feel you need to worship at home for a while, that is what you should do! I pray that someday you find a wonderful church home.

    I am not good at posting links, but I will try. My favorite children's bible is the Zondervan NIV Adventure bible. It is full of explanations and bible factoids and fun to look at.

    http://www.christianbook.com/niv-ad...ode=WW&netp_id=854038&event=EBRN&view=details

    You might take a look at Apologia's "What we Believe" series. I have never used this, but wish I had. I love Apologia Science.

    All of the major Christian curriculum publishers have a bible curriculum. You would just have to research and choose one that aligns with what you believe.
     
  12. Cornish Steve

    Cornish Steve Active Member

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    For study materials at home, I highly recommend Bible Education Services. I happen to know the wonderful Christian man who dedicated his whole life to writing the material, and everything is available free of charge. It's used by postal bible schools around the world, so that's an option too.
     
  13. Cornish Steve

    Cornish Steve Active Member

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    As for the church's attitude to wealth and giving, the leaders will have so much to answer for. I've heard of synagogues that are very strict in this way, but not churches. The simple test, for me, is whether they would allow Jesus to attend. In Apartheid-era South Africa, Jesus would have been shunned. In your town, since Jesus had no material possessions of his own, he would be shunned. Does the pastor not understand the contributions you make to fellowship, to service, and to encouragement?

    I am not a believer in a fixed tithe, although I would never criticize those who do believe in such. Frankly, if we can't afford to give, we should not. One day, usually when older, we'll be able to give so much more. The Christian faith is about a person, not a set of rules, and we have freedom on Christ. All that we have and are belongs to him, not just a fixed percentage. (Indeed, I take issue with the idea of "inviting Christ into our lives", because our lives should not be the center: We should be denying ourselves and giving our lives to him!)

    Mind you, while it's easy to criticize a church for barring members due to not giving enough, few seem to criticize churches for applying other litmus tests: must believe in literal creation, must be a patriot, must be right-wing, must not be gay, must insist that all abortion is wrong, must support gun ownership, and so on. In a sense, your church is no different from many others - sad to say.

    I really don't know what to suggest, because I do believe in the importance of the church. Indeed, I view our relationship with the local church to be on a par with the relationship between husband and wife - and a bond that should not be broken except under very exceptional circumstances. It's easy for me to suggest that you challenge church leadership over the issue, but that would cause unnecessary strife. It's what I would do, but plenty tell me I should bite my tongue more often.

    Maybe your family, by worshiping at home, will form the basis of a home church in your area.
     
  14. Jackie

    Jackie Active Member

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    Steve, that's out of line.
     
  15. Cornish Steve

    Cornish Steve Active Member

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    Why? I see it as all part of the same unfortunate symptom: Imposing rules and tests on church members that have absolutely nothing to do with salvation. We don't like it when we're told we can't belong because we don't pay enough, so why should we like it when we're told what to believe on matters that have nothing to do with salvation? It all comes down to control. Why should a church leader look up how much a family has contributed? Why should a leader be concerned about how I vote? Why should a leader decide who I can invite into my home? It's the same problem. It's the very opposite of Jesus' message.
     
  16. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    I think what Steve said is 100% correct. Some churches DO promote judgmental behavior that is utterly contradictory to Christ's teachings. Some churches DO promote political agendas. Some churches DO mandate a set list of positions that you MUST hold that have little to do with fellowship or studying the message of Christ. (I really doubt Jesus would be a strong advocate of the NRA, for instance)

    Personally, I avoid these churches like the plague. I think they damage my reputation as a Christian due to "guilt by association". Worse, I'm offended when anyone USES our Lord in this way. It's hurtful and creates terrible misconceptions about Christ's capacity for forgiveness, inclusion and redemption.

    About tithing....I'm a pretty generous contributor to my church, but times are better for us now, and I can afford to be. There were a few years I couldn't afford to tithe to my church at all. I was tithing in other ways....helping relatives pay their mortgage, helping my mom pay for things she needs on a fixed income, giving to a cause (Saint Jude's Children's Hospital) that I felt called by God to give to instead of my church. The tithe goes to *God's* works. It doesn't necessarily have to be your church...though it's nice to support your church when your church is in need.

    But yeah, I've faced that ethical dilemma...when I knew our church was raising funds to remodel a perfectly beautiful sanctuary to update it aesthetically. I could support unnecessary new carpet and windows, or give to St. Jude's. I felt called by God to give to St. Jude's. I should not be questioned by ANY man for making that choice.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2014
  17. Cornish Steve

    Cornish Steve Active Member

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    Having said that, I don't mean to distract from the thread but to provide encouragement to the poster. She's not alone in finding today's emphasis on "conformance" very frustrating, and I admire her courage in not giving in to a misguided leader's controlling personality.
     
  18. Cornish Steve

    Cornish Steve Active Member

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    Interestingly, our church may soon be using an accountant to count and record all giving - so that not even church leaders will know how much any particular person is giving.
     
  19. Jackie

    Jackie Active Member

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    EVERY church has something. We don't live in a perfect world, there's no such thing as a perfect church. The only other option is, as the OP suggested, having church at home with just your family.

    We are talking about finances here, not about abortion or evolution or voting or homosexual lifestyle.
     
  20. Cornish Steve

    Cornish Steve Active Member

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    I would beg to differ: We're talking about individuals who use the church to exert undue control over the personal lives of others - in this case, pressuring them to give money.

    You're right, of course, about there being no perfect church, and we'll always wrestle with issues of some sort; however, Jesus' most frequent criticisms were of religious leaders who lorded it over others. Most church leaders are true servants, but some (as mentioned in this thread) are bullies.
     
  21. Jackie

    Jackie Active Member

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    Keeping to SCRIPTURE is NOT "lording it over".

    I also believe in tithing, even for the poorest people. But I do not believe in "forced" tithing.
     

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