Urgent prayers please!!!! Would LOVE to understand this!!!

Discussion in 'Christian Issues' started by mommix3, Jul 9, 2014.

  1. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    Hubby lost his job today.. I'm sick to my stomach.. With the job goes the insurance that we have prayed for.. I seriously don't understand why we can't get past this.. The last job he had he was already leaving and was let go after they found out.. Given the explanation that "God told them to do it". And also told he was a liability.. This was the same thing.. he's a liability and "my conscience is clear with God". UGH!! SERIOUSLY?????????? WHY???? I'm SO stinking mad even though I DO believe that God has a plan in this.. Hubby has horrible migraines because of his spine issues and he was called a liar today, basically called a drug addict and that he was lying to the doctor to get pills.. REALLY???????? He has lost EIGHT INCHES IN HEIGHT because of his health problem.. He's NOT making this stuff up and he's SERIOUSLY sick.. Nobody is going to hire him now and I won't have a job after the middle of August.. Mine was only a summer job.. I'm still praying that God would open the door for me to stay, but I feel like all the doors have been slammed shut and I'm trapped in the hallway with nowhere to go.. What happened to bearing one anothers burdens? And correct me if I'm wrong, but Wouldn't God be pleased to have them HELP rather than worry about if it's going to affect them and their precious worldly possessions and dump off for someone else to deal with??? We have a man who is willing to work and has a health issue that we are trying to get fixed. SLAM goes the door! What are we supposed to do now? What is God wanting from us? I am so confused?? I KNOW that God allows things to happen for a reason and that he won't give us more than we can take, but I'm SERIOUSLY at the end of my rope.. How am I supposed to look at this? How am I supposed to respond? I understand,to a certain degree, where they were coming from, but to call hubby a liar is over the top.. This is not something that he made up. He has a hunchback from the compression fractures and has lost height. It affects everything. Not just HIM, but our whole family. And hearing time after time that "God" had a hand in their decisions is NOT good for someone who is already struggling with their faith. (((sigh))) My heart is breaking for him and for my kids.. We ALL are feeling crushed right now.. We are trying to get a course of action going so we can figure out what to do, but it's hard. Right now we are in Shock and almost in Panic mode.. I know, it doesn't show much faith for me to feel like that, but I do.. I can't help it. So please pray for me.. And for hubby.. That we can get through this and that God will show us what he wants and what we are supposed to do now. I DO TRUST HIM.. I DO!!
     
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  3. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    My heart is breaking for all of you. That is a seriously difficult load to handle. Painful. Stressful.

    Mommix, sometimes exceptionally difficult times....require exceptionally difficult measures. I think you should talk to social security disability and see if your hubby qualifies. Not as a permanent measure, hopefully...but if he is legally on disability, he can get medicaid and go to the doctor. You guys really, really, really...need a diagnosis and an idea of what treatments are available and what you can expect in the future.

    With his work history...of getting and losing jobs due to his health....it will make a strong case that he's trying and qualifies. You might want to see a social worker, too, to have another advocate contacting social security, and also to investigate any other help that might be available to your family in this really challenging time.

    I agree with you that these jerks telling you "God had a hand in their decision" is about as low as they can get. If they're worried that his need for pain meds puts other people in danger...that's a legitimate concern, but they should own it. Passing the buck to "God's counsel"...is weak and inexcusable...as are their accusations that he's a lying drug addict.

    I had a serious hip injury after a horse fell on me a few years back, and I know how brutal back pain can be. It hurts to stand, it hurts to sit, it hurts so much to sleep that you don't even want to...but not sleeping makes you more miserable. It's just awful...and unless you've lived through it, you don't have any idea how difficult it is. I took pain meds for that injury. Quite a few of them....to get through the day without crying, the pain was so horrible. I eventually healed up and weaned off of them....but I know if someone had accused me of that during a particular three month time period, I would have been crushed. Adding insult to injury...is so cruel.

    I wish you guys the best. I'm so sorry.
     
  4. kbabe1968

    kbabe1968 New Member

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    Praying!!!
     
  5. Minthia

    Minthia Active Member

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    (((((((HUGS))))))) I am so sorry that this happened!! I don't always understand why things happen but I know that there is always a reason. Know that God loves you and even in these hard times he is supporting you. I second what crazymom said about social security or disability or something like that. Your dh NEEDS some medical coverage!! I will continually pray for you, your dh, and your family that things will work out. If I were there I would come over with some ice cream and we could sit and cry and eat until we both felt better. :)
     
  6. Lindina

    Lindina Active Member

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    I'd bring the chocolate syrup, Minthia! and the cookies...
     
  7. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    Gosh, I WISH y'all lived closer!! I could sure use some ice cream and good friends to hang with right about now!!!
     
  8. Mickey

    Mickey New Member

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    I heard a story on Redeemer radio about a Presbyterian Pastor in Japan who wouldn't bow to the emperor in 1941. He was thrown into prison, actually the dungeon down two floors underground... his children asked God why He let this happen, when their father was only serving Him. All things work together for good or as it says in the French translation in concert for those that love the Lord. The town the prison was in was Hiroshima the prison was destroyed, but the Pastor way under ground in the dungeon survived and went on to live, love and serve the Lord for the next 40 years. God is in control, I hope this story about one of our family in the Lord encourages you. I heard it today on Redeemer Radio, they were discussing a series "How did evil come into being."
    William Edgar. for a reference. My prayers are with you.
     
  9. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    Mickey...you know, this story doesn't do it for me. And I'll tell you why.

    Because if the whole crux of the thing is that "God was really just looking out for the preacher when He put him in jail underground beneath the blast"

    It sort of implies that God WASN'T looking out for all the innocent civilians...women and children who were gruesomely burned alive that day. 150,000 people. And hundreds of thousands more that would die terribly of radiation sickness and cancers. The "cutesyness" of this story bothers me....it doesn't respect the horror of that event.

    To me....stories like this....express this idea of Christian entitlement that I'm not comfortable with. I think it's one of the biggest reasons America is becoming less Christian, sadly. Too much "Us against Them." It's not the deeper message of Christ.

    Also....very deeply good Christian people die terribly every single day. Missionaries go missing, get murdered. Good little kids die of terrible cancers, in car accidents, etc. Bad stuff happens to good people. Which, once again, further brings to mind the question....why did this Pastor get special help from God, but the toddler down the road got no help with her leukemia and died. It oversimplifies...sort of obscenely.....in a way that DOESN'T comfort people going through hard times.

    Maybe it's just me. Maybe other people find this stuff comforting. To me, the glaring contradictions just make it too much to stomach. Particularly, if you happen to be going through the worst part of your life.....and someone reminds you that someone else got a special favor from God...and your special favor is no where to be seen...it can honestly make you feel more lousey about your life and your relationship with the Lord.
     
  10. Lindina

    Lindina Active Member

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    Honestly, CrazyMom, why can't you leave well enough alone? Why can't you just let someone offer the comfort they intend and let the receiver receive it as they will, without turning it into a philosophical discussion in which YOU are the only one who "sees things clearly"?? Some people DO find "cutesy" little stories encouraging. SO LET THEM!
     
  11. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    And some people don't. Sometimes it makes things WORSE and feels like an extra kick in the head...to have someone blow a lot of sunshine up your skirt in the name of the Lord. Sometimes it's VERY tone deaf...when someone is really hurting.

    I have NEVER claimed that my perspective was in ANY way superior to anyone else's. I outright admitted...some people might find this comforting! Providing another perspective is NOT claiming to have all the answers.

    For all you know, my perspective might be ringing true with many people...and they might find THAT comforting (and refreshing). So let them!
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2014
  12. mschickie

    mschickie Active Member

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    CrazyMom I have to agree with Linda here. If the other post was directed at you I would say fine mention that this does not do it for you but Mickey's post was directed for someone else. By posting about how you disagree with how people believe that God interacts for what we perceive as good in one person's life but not another you are opening things for a debate when this was a thread where someone needed support not debate.

    I just hope that Mickey still feels free to share and offer support here and that Mommix3 holds to the belief that God is in control and can use any thing for good.
     
  13. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    Fair response, mschickie. It's not about me, it's about Mommix. Definitely true, and I think it's appropriate to remind me of that.

    That said, when I read Mommix's post....about people using "God's will" as an excuse to fire her husband....it occurred strongly to me that a "God's will" sort of post in response...was pretty tone deaf. All this "God's will" stuff is pretty much guess work and magical thinking when it comes right down to it. No one really knows why God does anything....except God. Sure, we can guess. We can even paint a rosy picture on it when it goes our way....but to pretend we really understand God's motives is pretty irreverent. (again, just my opinion)

    Feeding your kids, getting the bills paid, getting help for your husband's debilitating condition are all REALLY SERIOUS scary things....that could have used a better answer than....God helps out other people sometimes, so keep your fingers crossed.

    It just seemed really...messed up...to me to post that to a woman who had JUST expressed it was getting HARD to hear this kinda stuff.

    I really wish there had been more practical information. Maybe someone familiar with the social services in her state, or strategies for dealing with these employers or the medical system in her state....something of USE. I'd hazard to guess that hearing from the whole world what "God's will is" gets pretty difficult to take....when you're in trouble and no one is helping you.

    But as you pointed out, that's not for me to decide, so I concede. You're right. Not my place to say. I'm sure Mickey meant no harm.

    But I will say this...I have a lot of empathy for Mommix, and her frustration with hypocrisy.
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2014
  14. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    To be quite honest, I am REALLY struggling with this whole "God's will" thing. I just really don't know what to think anymore. I've been kicked and kicked over and over again and had "God" thrown out as the reason why it's ok.. I Just got back from a Beth Moore conference today and Her homework assignment Friday night was to have us list 3 things that happened in our childhood that helped shape us into the person that we are today.. (((sigh))) The ONLY things I could think of were the bad HORRIBLE childhood stuff that I endured. I could write a book. Seriously.. :( Anyhow, when we had our sessions today she pointed out that probably most of us only found bad that was used for God's glory. BUT GOD USES GOOD TOO!! I'm really hoping that the "good" happens soon because I seriously don't know how much more of the bad I can take.. I DO know that God uses good AS WELL AS the bad. But I really am confused about a lot of things right now.. I've got an appointment to talk with our minister tomorrow after church. I'm going to ask him to help simplify this. All I can think of is that WE ARE in covenant with Christ which means that We are under his protection. Also, in the scriptures, it says that those who do evil to us will be avenged BY HIM. I don't think that God creates the bad so he can be glorified, I think that he allows it. So.... I don't know.. I'm learning and growing and "I GUESS" whatever it takes to make it happen is going to happen. I just have to TRUST him and keep my eyes on HIM, knowing that HE IS IN CONTROL!! Beth said that we have an almost dark idea of theology when we think about God's will happening only through the bad stuff... I think I have to agree. BUT I also know that he turns ashes to beauty. HE overcomes satan, the EVIL one, and will make it work together for good to those who love him AND ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE..

    I didn't mean to cause an argument on this board. This is just an example of how my week has gone. I feel like no matter what my family or myself does, there is some kind of negative thing come out of it. It's been this way ALL WEEK. I feel like my family is under a MAJOR attack. Which USUALLY means that something good IS on the way. Because satan seems to work overtime to kill what joy you have and try to win, but he NEVER will. God wears the Victors crown so... Ya.. Anyway, LETS ALL GET ALONG!!!!
     
  15. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    I hear ya, Mommix. Got it. Man, I hope things improve for you folks. You sure could use a break.

    I think part of my reaction....was sort of personal.

    When Elle was two, we lost our son Jeffrey to SIDS. He was 9 weeks old.

    When you go through something horrible and unexplainable, sometimes people say the most outrageously insensitive things in the name of God. They mean well...but they don't GET it.

    I remember at Jeffrey's funeral, I was numb, absolutely out of my head with grief, and this woman I'd know forever from church.....told me that Jeffrey's death was due to sin, but it was all part of God's plan and that "God would give me the answer when I allowed Him to." It was this condescending sort of accusation that I was being selfish for not trusting God that Jeffrey's death was for the best. My child had been dead 72 hours.

    It took every bit of strength I had not to kill her with my bare hands. Thank God my husband saw this go down, because I might have. I really might have. I might have reached down her ignorant cruel throat and ripped her unused heart out. He stepped between us before I had the chance, but I did manage to let loose a chain of obscenity that I hope is still ringing in her ears.

    And I know she told everyone, "She's just hurting, she didn't mean any of that."

    But I did. I meant and still mean every single word of it. 16 years later. Some people are insanely cruel. Some people have no sense of empathy and no understanding that the way God runs this world...isn't always clear. They want to label it, package it, put their brand on it, and own it...own God and lord God over you like he's their exclusive best buddy...at the worst time of your life. People like that, I believe, stand a strong chance of going to hell unless they deeply repent and make amends.

    And no, Jeffrey's death was not for the best. It was a tragic loss and a mystery. A really horrible mystery. Like millions of other terrible things that happen to people no matter how faithful they are.

    I don't want an answer, because there is no answer that would be good enough. There's no "reason" it happened. That's crap. No "higher reason" would justify the death of an innocent baby who smiled more than any little one I've ever seen. It has nothing to do with sin, and it has nothing to do with God's will.

    If I had to go through life believing that a dead child was "God's will", I would give up on this world completely. It would not be a world I'd be willing to live in.

    I have to believe that terrible crap just happens, and that God loves us and tries to comfort us, and that He is just as heartbroken for Jeffrey's lost chance to live.

    And maybe that's the truth. Maybe God doesn't control everything all the time. Maybe He just loves us through all that unfolds...and hopes we feel Him in our hearts, in the people around us, in the ways great adversity changes us...and makes us more sensitive of other's suffering.

    I don't know why horrible stuff happens. And I'm not arrogant or cruel or false enough to pretend I do.

    I do believe life is a gift. I believe there is a lot to be grateful for. I believe that time helps but doesn't heal some wounds. I believe God loves us...and hurts when we hurt...because we are part of God.

    I found this poem/prayer in Ireland, on the first anniversary of Jeffrey's death. It's always comforted me.

    God within, God without
    How shall I ever be in doubt?
    There is no place where I can go
    and there, not see God's face, not know..
    That I am the sower, and the sown
    God's self unfolding...and God's own.
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2014
  16. mschickie

    mschickie Active Member

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    I try to remind myself that my perception is flawed, I am not God. What I perceive as being good may in fact be something horrible for me and what I see as bad may end up being the best things that happened to me. Also what is good for me is not necessarily good for someone else. I look at situations in my life and I can see how my perception was really off. As the saying goes hind sight is 20/20. You have the right attitude here, Trust God (one of the hardest things to do in my opinon), and keep your eye to him, knowing he makes beauty from ashes.
     
  17. vantage

    vantage Active Member

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    I have noticed through the years that people really have a hard time with what might seem a random tragedy. The simply cannot accept that there is no "reason" so they come up with one. The more insecure people are the more wildly they reach for a seeming answer. Personality disordered people will very often use blame to assuage the internal conflicts and blame the victim for this that or the other thing.

    I had a miscarriage between the birth of my DD's and heard all manner of garbage from people once it was known. They would say this or that of the other and I would say no, It was a genetic roll of the dice and 1/8 times it does not work whether women speak of it or not. People hated it when I said that, and would persist with the "for the better" "God's will" etc etc etc.

    I have heard people speak of a person in a given negative circumstances, economic, health, bereavement, accident, being punished by God for wrong doing. I always respond to this abruptly. DO you mean to say that Jesus dying on the cross was not sufficient for that person's sins and that they have to add a little on top of that sacrifice. I thought that the Gift of God's Son was enough pay the price for all and was the final sacrifice.

    God let my husband and I see some really hard times for about 3 years back in the day. It was like a drudgery and there seemed no way out, then things started happening that were amazing and we had a path out. This way out lasted for about 15 pretty good years, then things started falling apart again. The second time it was not economic, my spouse was becoming mentally ill. It took a while for me to realize that it was not circumstantial and that he was not getting better and medical help was saught. It took nearly 2 years to get things to a stable place. We are in a plateau of sorts now, but the nature of this condition if that it will periodically all fall apart again for a time. (this is part of why I felt led to pray for bosseswife).

    God's will, Genetic Roll of the Dice, Environment, Nurture of Nature, sigh, Who cares just make it all go away already......Seriously, that is what I usually feel in the bad times.
     
  18. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    Vantage, your post really made me smile. Thank you.
     
  19. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will dwell in the shadow of the almighty.. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust." Psalm 91:1-2 I shared this on Facebook this morning. This TOTALLY jumped out at me this morning. I wasn't planning on reading my bible. I was having a really hard time just getting out of bed. But I got up and got on facebook to ask for prayers for hubby's tests today and an aunt of mine posted a list of bible verses for different situations. I picked one and went to it. Obviously in Psalms because immediately I noticed Psalm 91 highlighted in blue just begging for me to read it. So I did. I read it and I took it all in. I felt a weight lift off of me at that point and joy fill my heart. I KNEW that God was fighting this fight for me. That all I had to do was trust Him and hang back in His almighty shadow of protection and safety. That EVERYTHING was going to be ok. No matter how it went, HE was in control of the situation. (((sigh))) THEN I get into my car to go to work and as soon as I start it up my XM radio station comes on with a brand new song.. MY SONG that I have adopted as my theme song. "My Heart is Yours" by Christian Stanfield. It played from the moment I drove out of the driveway and until I pulled into my job. God is SO good! He works things out in such an amazing way. I had prayed for quite some time this morning before I even got out of bed asking for him to help me and to give me strength to get through this and told him that I DO TRUST HIM!! And there's a story behind that "trust" thing that I'll share some other time. But I KNOW God is working in mine and my families life. He is ONE MIGHTY GOD!

    Obviously this whole thing is a rollercoaster ride. One day I'm up and the next I've hit rock bottom, But it's really nice to know that I DON'T have to keep it all together all the time.
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2014

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