It NEVER ENDS!!!

Discussion in 'Christian Issues' started by mommix3, Jul 28, 2014.

  1. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    I am not one to post my dirty laundry on facebook. I DO post when my family is going through difficult times and we need prayer. Which is what I have been doing to keep all my friends and family up to date on what is going on with my husbands health issues. Well, apparently exboss lady got bit by the guilty bug today and decided to rant on my posts.. She first told me to stop and I replied by telling her that I wish this would all stop that everything is spiraling out of control, but I knew that God was in control and it was all going to be ok.. From there it escalated to me bashing her family and dragging them through the mud on fb.. I have NEVER EVER once posted anything about her family.. Only our situation.. I didn't even tell when hubby was fired!! I'm beyond confused and I'm sick. BUT I WILL NOT TOLERATE BULLYING!!! I did stick up for myself PUBLICLY (which I don't normally do) and had a slue of people backing me up. She divulged information that I never even told anyone.. Which I thought was funny.. ((sigh)) but to make a long story short, she called my husband (who knew what was going on and said I did nothing wrong) and told him that as of today there would be no more severance pay because of what I did.. Said that her hubby was going to be writing a check, but she would cancel it.. We are both beside ourselves.. WE HAVE BILLS TO PAY!! What's sad is that she hung herself on FB. EVERYONE saw what she said (not the pay thing of course) and they saw how I responded.. Of course she deleted her posts but not before I had them printed out.. I REFUSE to back down and be ran over ANYMORE.. I just don't understand what's going on.. I feel like we are being attacked from all angles.. I don't quite know what to make of it. Please pray for us. AND for HER.. I'm swallowing my pride and going tomorrow to sign up for food stamps.. There is NO way we are going to make it on my measly $1000 a month. Was going to have to do it anyway, but... ((((sigh))))
    It sure is hard to swallow all that's going on right now..

    EDITED for THIS :) "Then it all escaladed into HER SAYING that I was bashing her family and dragging them through the mud".
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2014
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  3. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    Mommix, I feel like I'm missing some important information when I'm reading the obvious anguish in your post.

    Would you mind clarifying the following?

    1. How long did your hubby work for these folks?
    2. What kind of work was it?
    3. Are they contractually bound to give him severance, or are they doing it purely out of a sense of compassion? (do you have any legal right to the severance?)

    From where I'm sitting, it sounds like he worked very briefly for a small company....was let go because his health issues conflicted with an ability to do the work safely....and they were trying to give him a little extended pay to help you guys out.

    Am I missing something huge? Can you help me to understand what I've got wrong?
     
  4. Lindina

    Lindina Active Member

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    Mommi, I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself and not giving in to the bullying. And I'm glad you have lots of people including your husband witnessing that you did nothing wrong - you need that support. The Bible tells us that when we've done all we can, to STAND. And you're doing that - standing on the promises. Glad you're going for the FS. I know it's hard (had to do it once). Still praying for your family and your situation.
     
  5. mschickie

    mschickie Active Member

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    What she was doing is not right to say the least. CrazyMom asked some good questions. If there was a contract or even if they promised him a severance package they could be legally liable to pay it, if there was not an agreement (writing is easier to prove than verbal contracts) then they might not have to pay anything. The fact that you have documentation that she said she was going to stop it in retribution though may give you a case for at least small claims court. Her own words could indicate that there was a promise of payment. It might be a pain but then again it might be worth looking into.

    I know you do not want to do food stamps or get "assistance" but you are the people that those programs were originally designed to help, folks who are trying but need the temporary assistance. Realize this is just a season and it too will pass.
     
  6. kbabe1968

    kbabe1968 New Member

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    Praying. I totally missed all the FB stuff today....been out all day. (((HUGS))) I have no idea what God's plan is, but He has one. May he be glorified through this mess somehow. (((HUGS)))
     
  7. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    Mommix, how long was he employed by them? Did he make it out of the probationary period?
     
  8. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    All I can say, is it is what it is. And I WILL NOT be bullied.. I don't care WHAT she has done for my family, I WILL NOT roll over while she runs all over me and tries to rule me.. NOT happening..
     
  9. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    I understand all that. Just wondering how long he worked for them....trying to determine if you have any legal recourse...or if you just shot yourself in the foot.
     
  10. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    Well, I didn't shoot myself in the foot because I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.. That was the whole purpose of this post.. I can't believe that she acted the fool that she did in front of everyone ON FB.. He worked for him since January.. He has rights. And they pulled the severance because they "said" I was saying things about their family WHICH I NEVER DID! EVER! I might have said something about having to hurry up and get medical things going because our insurance is ending. But Never once did I ever say anything negative about the circumstances surrounding why or even let on that I was mad.. I seriously don't know what set her off. I don't post ugly things on fb for everyone to see. Either I keep it to myself or I will tell the person straight up between just us.. But she piped up and said that I needed to go back and read my posts again.. So I did.. And so did hubby.. And I said NOTHING about her or her family or the fact that they fired him or anything.. I don't fault them for the firing ONE BIT!! He should not have been working anyway with the meds that he's on.. BUT the fact that She threw things in my face that was completely off subject threw me off. And allowed everyone to see WHO It was that had done things and said things to us (that I refused to tell who) that was hurtful. Her true heart was shown. So... I don't know how I "shot myself in the foot". Explain that to me????
     
  11. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    You shot yourself in the foot because it would be much more helpful to your husband and family to be getting the severance pay....than doing victory laps about a pointless flame war on Facebook.

    I think your emotions are huge right now because you're dealing with some VERY difficult things. I don't doubt you were wronged by this woman, and feel very wronged. But ultimately what has you the most upset....is your husband's condition and uncertain future.

    It's really easy to lash out when we're hurting. And it's also easy to let our emotions get the better of us. I'm sure you're not proud of...as you said...bashing her family and dragging them through the mud. Regardless of what she did, you're better than that, no?

    Just seems like you have more problems now. Which stinks.

    I think if you weren't feeling so raw it might have made more sense to ignore her stupidity....and cash the checks.

    Will continue to pray for you all. Particularly, for hubby's health. Wish you only the best.
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2014
  12. Lindina

    Lindina Active Member

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    Ok, CrazyMom, you're at it again. You're insisting that Mommi did something that she knows she did not do. She knows she didn't, her husband knows she didn't, and her IRL friends know that she didn't. Were you there? Did you see the Facebook? LEAVE her alone!
     
  13. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    I think you need to re-read Mommi's original post.

    Here are a couple of excerpts:

    "EVERYONE saw what she said (not the pay thing of course) and they saw how I responded."

    "From there it escalated to me bashing her family and dragging them through the mud on fb."


    Are you following yet?

    When you see a friend participating in this kind of eighth grade nonsense....you say something. You say...Hold up girl, this is stupid. You have bigger things to worry about. You're only hurting yourself, here.

    You don't ENCOURAGE her to do this nonsense.

    A friend is honest...when honesty is necessary.

    Just sayin.

    I'm worried about Mommi and her family. They are dealing with some life changing difficulty. I'm sure this ex-boss-lady is the pits. She sounds like a jerk.

    But the bottom line...is that the severance pay helped her family. The flame war just added problems and stress.

    See the forest for the trees.

    It's good advice.
     
  14. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    NO SHE SAID I WAS BASHING HER FAMILY... I WASN'T!!!!!!

    THAT was the whole thing.. I DIDN'T do ANYTHING!! I DIDN'T bash her family.. Never have, never will..

    You need to go back and reread my original post..
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2014
  15. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    Sorry, Crazymom, but you don't know WHAT you are talking about. I stood up for myself.. Just so you know, this is the EXACT post that I put on FB : " Tomorrow is the day we find out if there is anything that can be done for Tim's back issue... Fear and anxiety is starting to creep in for both of us. Please pray for peace and for us to get a good nights sleep.. I KNOW God has this. If they can help him we are under major time restraints due to insurance ending.. Another door slammed shut as soon as it was opened.."

    HER response.. PLEASE STOP!!!!!

    ME: "I wish this WOULD stop.. God's in control. Things seem to be spiraling out of control, but we know ALL things work together for good to those who love God.. Nothing goes past him without his knowledge..

    HER: "Yes, but I wish that you would not vent about my family on FB. If God is in control, He is the one we should go to!!"

    ME: "YOUR FAMILY???? when did I vent about YOUR family??? I'm venting about what OUR family is going through.. Unfriend me if you don't like it!!!! I have NEVER ONCE said anything about you family. Not in person OR on FB.. "

    HER: SO PROUD OF YOU TO FINALLY SHUT UP!!! Too bad you can't tell everyone all the good we have done for you!!!


    Crazymom, If you think I did something wrong with that then I don't know what to tell ya, but I saw a bully and I stood up. BESIDES, If you are going to help someone WHO DIDN'T EVEN ASK, you DON'T throw it in their FACE!!!!!! I didn't type in the whole thing, but it ended with me basically telling her that we were very grateful for her help that WE NEVER TOLD ANYONE ABOUT BECAUSE THEY ASKED US NOT TO. But When you do something for someone then throw it in their face, you take away the blessing .. She responded something to the effect "I'm so glad you have my blessings figured out"..

    So, I guess since they were going to "help" us, we were supposed to bow down and "SHUT UP". I posted several things on FB that had to do with insurance ending and needing the doctors to hurry up. NEVER anything ABOUT THEM.. She didn't respond to those, only the one asking for prayer.. I feel like, in the beginning, God used her, but at the end she was a tool of satan... I had every right to respond to HER BASHING!!
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2014
  16. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    I am trying to cling to my faith and to God's promises.. THAT is what I tried to tell her.. She didn't understand.. It was ALL ABOUT HER..
     
  17. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

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    Why did you write that you bashed her family and drug them through the mud? Was it a giant typo? Why did she get so angry? It just doesn't make sense.

    Mommi....God knows your stress must be off the chart right now. What you do is your own business. I honestly don't care if you DID have a flame war....people are human. They reach a limit and lose it sometimes.


    Just sad this has created more problems for you.


    Still praying for you, and hubby and the kids.
     
  18. mschickie

    mschickie Active Member

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    I think what she meant was that is what the woman was saying. I saw the posts on fb and Mimmix3 said nothing wrong. The only thing she mentioned was that their insurance was ending. I guess those close to situation might question that or infer it is because someone lost their job but there was no discussion of that. Maybe this woman was feeling guilty and that is why she read way more into the posts I do not know.

    As for the money issue, I do know that if they promised a severance package you might want to consult a lawyer. Having the fb posts could show a breach of contract, you might not need to actually take them to court but just the mention of it could make them cough up the money. I am normally not a big fan of suing folks but in this case that may be the only road to go. You have evidence and it may be as easy as small claims court depending on how much they promised.
     
  19. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    Nah.. no lawyers.. God will take care of us.. We trust Him.. And I'm stopping this discussion with Crazymom right now.. I'm NOT fighting with anyone.. I HAVE ENOUGH GOING ON without having to deal with this.. I don't allow satan in my home, I don't allow him on FB, and I'm not going to allow his schemes here. I'm not going to play into this and have negative feelings for anyone on this board. So THE END.. Moderator, PLEASE delete this whole post.. We need UNITY here, NOT division..
     
  20. shelby

    shelby New Member

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    I have been uplifting your family in my prayers! God is in control! He is bigger than all this and will bring you through!
     
  21. Lindina

    Lindina Active Member

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    Why is it, CrazyMom, that all of us but you understood what mommi meant, that the woman was the one saying mommi was bashing, not that mommi was admitting bashing???
     

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