Hard Decision

Discussion in 'Homeschooling' started by llama, Feb 12, 2015.

  1. llama

    llama New Member

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    Hi, I would like to hear opinions, especially from those who have transferred their child from private school to home school. The story is that I am planning on homeschooling my girls next year and have had a year to think about it, read about it, research options, etc. But, although I am certain that it will work out for the youngest girl, I am often still uncertain that my oldest girl will really do well with it. She is very social and very much enjoys being around her friends. She and her sister are straight A students and both of them have been enrolled at a local private Catholic school for 7 and 8 years, so they are flourishing in that situation. My husband and I like the school and think they have done a rather good job but are now in a position to homeschool and have clearly decided to switch to homeschooling--at least for one girl. I do think that the youngest girl will make the transition very successfully. However, I continue to be concerned that the oldest girl may be severely depressed if my husband and I insist on her stopping now--which is why I am wavering despite understanding that it is a parental decision. She has even stated that she wants to go back to private school 1 more year and will willingly break with the private school after that. The reason I am torn is that I clearly know home schooling would be best for her, and I know that there is a possibility she will change her mind and want to continue with private school into the high school years, and our family would have fewer financial pressures if we didn't pay private school tuition, and I am a STAHM and can work with the children--but if she does become severely depressed, my husband does not believe in medication or psychological treatment, so obviously I am concerned about that possibility. On the other hand, am I worrying too much and possibly ruining her future by allowing her to continue in private school?
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2015
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  3. mschickie

    mschickie Active Member

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    I did not transfer a child out of private school but we did pull a child out mid year from public school. Was she happy, no but did she adjust, yes. I would look into local homeschooling groups. Are there any groups near by that have a co-op you could join or that does lots of field trips, fellowship events and such. Try to plug her into a new community where she can see she will still have friends. The biggest fear that the kids seem to have is that they will not have any friends or do anything fun. She still may resist at first (no matter when you pull her) if you can show her how it is benefiting her (not necessarily in the academic areas but in the fun stuff) she will come around.
     
  4. llama

    llama New Member

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    You are probably right. I will have to accentuate the "fun" parts. My husband and I are planning to visit a co-op locally soon, so I will ask about the things you mentioned. Thanks. ;)
     
  5. Lindina

    Lindina Active Member

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    Why would you think she would become "severely depressed"? I know she'll be sad and miss her friends, but "severely"? Does she have a history of clinical depression? intense emotional reactions to things? If not - she'll get over it. Make sure she has her friends' numbers - if they're real friends, they'll call and stay in touch and invite her to stuff just like they do now. If not, they're not real friends. She's old enough to learn that difference. She's also old enough to understand "we can't afford it", "we've decided", and "you'll make new friends".
     
  6. llama

    llama New Member

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    All good points! My eldest daughter is very sensitive, but has no history of clinical depression to date. I am trying to look at all the possibilities ahead and thought about that. I really believe that events from childhood are important, perhaps seeming more important in adulthood than they really are if they are not handled correctly. Everyone can probably remember something from childhood that impacted them. But, you are quite correct. It will be good for her to learn about "true" friends now. I guess I want to make homeschooling the older daughter's first choice just as much as it is mine--maybe that's not realistic at first since she is just a child. My husband and I are planning to have the girls watch selected videos on homeschooling, and I have been mentioning advantages here and there, but we have really not decided exactly how to break the news. You all have probably run across the support issue. Very few (except those who have already homeschooled) in our circle of immediate family and friends--including church since there is a church school and our girls have been enrolled there since age 3--have supported us. I am sure it will be better when we choose a co-op. I still believe that homeschooling should be a mainstream activity because there are so many advantages to the student and the family. I wish we had started long ago.
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2015
  7. mschickie

    mschickie Active Member

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    As I said sd was not happy we pulled her out in 9th grade but I can tell you that when she was in 12th grade she said to me "I wish you had homeschooled me all along." So it may not be her first choice in the beginning it may be her first choice in the end.
     
  8. llama

    llama New Member

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    I have read that another place also. Maybe I am over reacting.
     
  9. Lindina

    Lindina Active Member

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    We pulled DS after 4th grade because although he had good grades, I wasn't convinced he was actually learning much at all. He wasn't in favor. We explained that we thought it's what God wanted us to do, and we're the parents and it's our decision to make. He found out that the same kids who were his friends at school were the same kids who stayed friends. He found out they were jealous of his being able to homeschool. He still "always" felt he was missing out on something. But when he found out that public school wasn't working for HIS son, either, then suddenly "Grandma School" was the best choice. He's vowed his younger son will never set foot in a public school. He tells his son to appreciate what he has and he wishes he'd paid better attention when Grandma was trying to teach him... Because they don't live nearby, they have sacrificed having him at home, so that he could get a better education. He lives with us for two weeks at a time, so we're his "boarding school" until they can get moved over here by us. The proof's in the pudding....
     
  10. llama

    llama New Member

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    Thanks everyone. I appreciate it. :)
     

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