What do you do when/if your child becomes moody and/or sulky after getting in trouble for doing something he/she was told not to do, and then you need to 'move on' with homeschooling that day? How do you deal with this? Need input...thanks. BTW, I took away a surprise (was planning to take them to McDonald's that has an indoor play-place for lunch today) and then sent them to their rooms for half an hour to think about their attitudes and what they did. I followed through with discipline, but there are just some days when we're trying to do school and they are inattentive because of bad attitudes hanging on. They are 7 and almost 5 (the younger one doesn't hang onto his stinky attitudes as long).
It depends on what Ems is doing when she is sulking and how long she carries it out. Usually after she gets in trouble I allow her to sulk a bit, on her bed with no toys, because nobody is happy when they first get in trouble but when she continues sulking for a while and it is to be unkind to me or anybody else then she gets punished for that as well. When she sulks beyond the punishment and tries to make everyone else miserable then she is being unkind. I always tell her, before her punishment for being sulky, that just because she is upset does not give her the right to try to upset everyone else. Regardless of what the punishment is for her continued attitude, I make sure she is seperate from the rest of the family so she can't have the satisfaction of us viewing her faces. Sulking is usually a battle of wills for a child. They want to see if they can punish you for punishing them. My sister was queen of this and my mom caved in often. My dad on the other hand did not fall for it and if we had to stay on our bed for a few hours until we got over it then he didn't mind. Patty
id agree, usually the continued sulking is to see how far they can push you to get back at you for punishing them, however dont waste your breath trying to reason this out of them... they wont even begain to be able to understand this untill mid teen years. if the sulking is due to a disapointment, ie rained out baseball game, friend had to back out of a play date etc. and a "fill in" (trip to mcdonalds, special treat etc) is not avalible or praticle i try to sit down with that child individualy and talk about the situation and then give them a little time to get over it (After explaining that is what they are supposed to do..cheer up). kids take things hard... sometimes they just need some time to get it out of their systems however it sounds like your problem is more related to sulking due to being in trouble... in which case a zero tollerance policy, for once, is acutally a good thing. in my house if you are doing something you are not supposed to do you get counted 1,2,3 and on the third offence (or imideatly, depeding on what you did) you get sent to the thinking chair in the other room for 5 minutes... after 5 minutes you come back dole out any apoligizes needed and move on. if you continue to sulk, be moody or grumpy again you get three shots (and im not talking about 3 hours worth of nagging 3 shots.. Jordan slams her pen down hard because shes still mad from earlier, thats 1. i ask her to please fix her attitude so we can move on..she grunts at me.. thats 2. she whines because she got another number thats 3) the second time they reach 3 (first one being the original punishment, second from sulking) then they get one more time out and if they are not 100% healed upon their return i tell them that im so sorry you are upset but if you cant be nice and speak/treat others nicely then you will just have to go to bed and i send them to bed and leave them there for no less than 1/2 hour (its not like they were gonna get any work done anyway, this way at least everyone else can) usually when they get 'sent to bed' expically my daughter, will dramaticly throw herself onto the bed and howl and cry and make herself misrible..the she will fall asleep from crying so hard and being tired and sulky in the first place and generaly they wake up a new person...and i let them, ask if they are feeling better and leave it at that unless there was damage done earlier (something broken, box of crayons thrown etc) that needs to be delt with..but try to do it in a non punishing way if possible so you dont put yourself back at the beginning. good luck, and hang in there!:lol:
Sometimes I have them go to their rooms, with no toys. My middle child, even though he is 13 now, can't handle life in general if he doesn't get enough sleep! He can make everyone else miserable too, with his ugly attitude. He admits that he's tired. I tell him, "That's not an excuse for being rude and ugly to others!" When this happens (which it did just today!), and I KNOW he is tired, I send him to his room to lay down on his bed with no lights and no "toys". He often falls asleep, cuz he needs that rest. Sometimes though, it's just restless energy. In that case I send him outside for a run--3 times around the house, or down to the stop sign and back. That helps settle him down a little. He "wears his feelings on his sleeve", so he's actually easy to deal with, albeit frustrating, because it's usually pretty clear what the problem is. The other two are harder to figure out, but then again, they don't "act out" as much........
I have a son who wears his feelings on his sleeve. It can be very frustrating. If he is not rested, fed, and suffiecently exercised he can drive us all crazy. Wait...I just described a collie. LOL. I guess that is why they say boys are made with puppy dog tales. lol Anyway, I just send him to his room to recoup. What I will say that infuriates me is that if they were anywhere but home, their behavior would be excellent. In fact, even if one were to get in trouble, there would be no recouping required. UGH. I guess they save the best for me. lol. As long as they are busy they are fine. I will also admit once I discipline I need a bit of time to get back into teacher mode. So, I guess I can't expect more from them, right? So, we just sit back recoup and then move on.
Sounds like a bunch of great advice. We had one of those days recently, he went to his room and actually fell asleep, the day was shot but evidently he needed the sleep (he NEVER naps) so, we just played catch up the next day!
Yes, my dd's get that way when it becomes that time of the month. I love that they can just go lay down and think about what happen and rest awhile. My oldest has so much trouble with her monthly, I am so thankful and pray to God everyday for letting us hs them. It's alot easier for her right now.
Amen to that!!! i still have horrible flash backs of trying to deal with "that" in jr high!!! im so thankful that my daughter will not have to suffer the same hummilation of trying to deal with it and change classes and do it all in the 5 minutes they have before they are late for class... we wernt allowed to leave class for the restroom..it was misrible!!!
I think that is when I really started to hate school. I remember how awful it was in 7th grade especially. We were in a separate building and had only one bathroom for everyone in the class. It was so bad! And we could not wear pants back then. Oh how awful it was to have a male PE teacher and have to try to get through PE when you were so miserable. I am so glad Crystal doesn't have to deal with that anymore and Emily never will. Beth
I have been known to scrap school for that day OR to make it later in the day after they've lost the attitude. It's harder those days, but... My daughter (7) had a major meltdown before school the other day. I let her go thru with it - it was serious emotions, I think she was tired. We did school after lunch that day...she watched a movie in the morning to kind of "regain" herself...by the time we started school she was okay (NOTE: this was not a discipline issue, it was just a woke up on the wrong side of the bed kind of thing). My son (5) is harder. When he has a bad attitude, I sort of have to tease him into school. I'll say "okay, no school for you today" and I'll start working with his sister. After about a half hour he comes up and says "If I were doing schoolwork today, waht would I be learning?"...it becomes a game where at the end he's begging to do it! It's kind of funny. I do confess to having children who are the ones who beg to do school...they can't wait to get started. I'm not sure where they get that from. We do have bad days though- that's why I've been known to scrap for a bad attitude. (granted, can't do that EVERY day! )
Even adults are like this. We all have our days. If we as adults can be this way, how can we expect more from a child. I think it is very helpful to the child to be allowed some time to regain herself. That will teach her ways she can destress herself. My kids used to beg to do school. Now my dd wants to pretend school does not exist unless it is an art project or science experiment. My son, still loves to do school. He is 6. I have noticed the 5 & 6 year olds seem to enjoy school more. When my dd was 5, I couldn't stop her from doing school. lol. Now, she is 8 going on 9 and wants to just get it done. lol. I guess it is a phase.
Yeah, my younger two were that way also, I could hardly keep up with how fast they were moving and how much they wanted to do more! They still enjoy certain aspects on certain days. Lately my dd is into history, and keeps asking if she can do more! So if she is up with the other basics, then I let her spend extra time on history. Maybe in awhile it'll be back to math or something else. Still, my main attitude adjustment for them is exercise or rest. Those seem to help a lot, depending on the circumstances and the child.
