Last Monday a lady from my church called me up and started asking about homeschooling. She asked me a lot of questions and I just thought she was curious about how it works. I told her about the covering I was going under and how we do things. At the end of our conversation she mentioned she was thinking about doing it. I was surprised, but I think it is a right that everyone should have. Tuesday she called back and was upset and went further into her situation. Her son has missed many unexcused days at public school and she is fixing to go to jail ! She is calling me everyday and wanting to know what to do. Her boy is 12, and I feel she has waited to long to step up to the plate (not that she couldn't;I just don't think she will). Even worse, the principal of the school he goes to goes to church with us and I really am quite fond of her and her family. The lady with the son is trying to get me to say something bad about them, but I won't. I am afraid this woman will cause me trouble and don't know what to do. My hubby says I am too nice for my own good, but I hate to see kids suffer. Have any of you dealt with a similiar situation? Thanks, Melanie
I haven't dealt with anything quite like that. I think you're right about not saying anything bad. The mom seems to be finding a way out of her own problem, so be careful how much you get into the situation! My dh says the same thing about me, so I have an idea of what you're going through. I can pray for you, that the situation will soon be resolved without problems for you!
I'm just popping my nose in here real quick. I wouldn't say anymore to the lady, unless she wants prayer. Otherwise, you may get burned. I am having a hard time feeling sorry for her. I am assuming she knew her son was missing school. She is simply looking for somebody to justify her actions because she knows she was wrong. Patty
I would appreciate your prayers Deena. Emma, I guess I should have mentioned that she told me that the boy has had 4 unexcused absenses and she had to go before the judge. He told her if he missed 2 more days unexcused she was going to spend 1 year in jail and he was going to get 1 year probation. That very day he was supose to go back to school, but she had a flat tire and couldn't make it there with him. The next morning he was late again b/c of the tire. I honestly think it was b/c she thought she could start homeschooling last week. I tried to tell her it takes time to get in and to be honest with the cover she tries to get in with. My hubby is telling me that she is telling me lies that there is more to the story. I have to say I feel there is more to it. Her son is in 6th grade with a kindergarten reading level. She said the school hasn't helped him, but as a parent with a child who has problems I didn't leave it up to the school;I pulled my dd out and took matters in my own hands,but I didn't wait until 6th grade. so, I don't know what she thinks I can do to help her. She is driving me crazy! I think you are right she is trying to get me to justify her actions and tell her she is doing the right thing, but i can't do that.I am not sure she can handle the boy or that she is disciplined enough herself to homeschool. Not to down her, but she only got her GED 2 years ago (she's in her late 30s). My family has worked so hard to give homeschoolers a good name in our church and this could really make us look bad. Homeschooling is really looked down on, but had gotten better since we have stuck with it so long. People were starting to respect our decision. I don't want them to think we homeschool to get out of trouble with the public school system. My reasons had nothing to do with that and were deeper than that! I am sorry to dump this on ya'll. I just am in tormoil over this. Thanks for listening, Melanie
I would give her contact info for Hslda, and perhaps the state homeschooling dept. or county whatever. I would also give her the phone number to legal aid. Let her know that you will be praying for her and her son. Tell her that you understand that her situation is really tough but that you are not able to give her the advise she needs.
I agree with Vantage as well. That way if she is being honest you are providing her with the information she needs, and if she isn't it will then be between her, HSLDA, and the school, you no longer have to worry about her involving you.
I'm in agreement with Vantage. And with your husband; I think there's more to this story than what you're hearing! First of all four unexcused absences would be ignored where we live, so I'm impressed that the school isn't just ignoring that. Why isn't he there? Are there good reasons that the school won't accept, or is he just plain cutting? Does she drop him off at one door and he leaves by another, or does she just not get his lazy rear up in the morning? Is she doing what she can to get him there, or is she irresponsible? If she's as irresponsible as her son, she sure won't be able to homeschool! All of us here know it takes accepting MORE responsibility to do it, not less!
I don't know what the mother's problem is but I see nothing but trouble ahead for you if you don't stay away from her right now. If she gets her act together and does start homeschooling later on, maybe you can help her some. But don't let her un-do what has taken you so long to build up. Meaning the way people see homeschooling because you have proved your family is dedicated and sticks to it. I will pray for this boy and his mother. I hope she gets it all together before she ends up in jail.
I have to agree with everyone else. You would be better off if you said nothing at all and try to stay as far away as you can. I know it's hard but you have to do it for your family if nothing else. My dh always tells me I am to soft hearted and let everyone walk over me. U need to be strong for you and your family. I thing theres alot more to the story then what she is telling you. I agree with Jackie 4 unexcused is no reason for court and jail.
God bless your big heart Melanee, but I agree with the others as well. Something doesn't add up in her stories. There has got to be a lot more to the story if she's going to be put in jail for her child missing school. ??? I would pray for her, but I also would probably not talk to her anymore. I see trouble coming and she'll drag you down with her. (((HUGS)))
I totally agree with vantage. Something here isn't right and the last thing you need is to get involved in something that could come back on you. If she goes infront of the school board and says that you told her this and that they could come to you to explain yourself. I'm sure that you have all your legal papers in order but still they could cause you problems never the less. It sounds like this woman has some serious underlying issues that need to be dealt with and that needed to be dealt with long before she met you. A flat is no excuse when there are cabs around, she could have walked him in (unless there is like 5 feet of snow and -0's in temp), anything would have been better than just not showing up. Don't give her any more advice than you already have, give her the numbers and back away.
Melanee, I am sorry you are dealing with this. I think wonderful advice has already been given so I will offer up some prayer. Just be careful...this lady smells of trouble.
Jackie, The boy is not being made to go. If he has a slight belly ache or just don't "feel" like going she keeps him home with her. I have since found out her terrible story about how he would have to ride down a long road in the cold was a bunch of bull. She is closer to the road than I. I can't believe she would try to take advantage of another church member like that. I have done nothing, but show her kindness. I am taking all of ya'lls advice. I am not answering my phone and backing away from this. I can't handle anymore of her anyways. I gave her the names of different coverings (which I feel nervous about) and HSLDA's contact info. and curriculum. I feel I have done my duty as a Christian. Now I must just pray and avoid her calls. Thanks for all the help. ~Melanee
I am sorry I have no real advice. It sounds like you got some good advice already. I am sorry you have to deal with this and hope it quickly passes for you. I am sure your church family is already aware of how hard you work with your family. I doubt anything she does will smudge your name with your church
That's what I figured. She babies him so much right now, I think if she were to "homeschool", he would decide all the when's and where's and what's when it came to his "schooling". He'd sleep to noon, then get up, maybe do a little work if he "felt" like it, then spend the rest of the day playing computer until his friends got home. I doubt that she'd "make" him do anything! It's "homeschoolers" like that that cause trouble for all of us diligent ones! Another thought. The semester has recently changed for Carl's school. You said "four days" absent? I wonder if that's since the beginning of the new semester, rather than for the entire year. If he's missed four days in the last two weeks, plus all the school he's probably missed in the first semester, I could see the school threatening her.
Jackie, I just know that since Christmas he has missed 4 days unexcused. She had to go before the judge and he said 2 more days unexcused absence this year means you go to jail for a year and your son is going to have a record. I am going to put him on probation for a year. She said that the principal (another lady in our church) is picking on her, but I know the lady and know she would not do that. She said there was kids with alot more days than hers and they were not being as strict on her. Again I think there is more to the story. She hasn't called since I avoided her Monday. Surely she knows she took it too far. ~Melanee
So it's since Christmas. that means he's missed a zillion before Christmas. As far as the "others" missing "more".... Well, that tells me something about this mom! She's not one to take responsibility. I tell kids that I really don't care about what "others" are or are not doing! My children are responsible to what THEY have been told. I refuse to allow them to justify their inappropriate behavior by what others do or do not do! This lady knows her son has missed too much school, but is looking for a way to justify it. Same with the principal. Whether the principal is picking on her or not (and I would guess not!) is irrelevent. The fact is that HER son is truant from school too often.
I just can't understand why a mom would allow her child to miss so much school. On top of that, to avoid police intervention she is considering homeschooling. That poor kid! If she can't do the simple task of sending the kid to someone else to teach, she will never teach him. It makes me so mad. There is a kid at my church whose parents don't make him go to school. He can miss any day for any reason. He does, however, go to school if only to avoid being at home. Very sad.
I agree with both of you. I can't understand where this woman is coming from. I do feel sorry for her kid. I had to deal with him during vacation Bible school and I got the idea he did as he pleased. I just can't see why some parents think that is good for their children. I have a feeling this boy is going to end up in trouble. Melanee
