A little history.... We pulled dd (Kindergarten) out of private school at Christmas break. Among other problems, she wasn't learning well with their sight-word (no phonics) curriculum. The teacher seemed only interested in the "gifted" children and annoyed with the average ones. But the MAIN reason we pulled her was the final straw. A boy in her K class (who was 7!?!?) had been touching her inappropriately!! Our daughter told us and it was witnessed by other students. We immediately addressed it with the school and were reassured it would stop. This was in October. We kept asking our daughter and she said it had stopped. But she started bed-wetting and crying not to go to school. Well, it didn't stop. The teacher said it did, but another mom who volunteered in the class told me she saw it happening the day before Christmas break. WE WERE DONE! Ok, so everyone at the school - including other moms of students - acted as if we were over-reacting. Some even implied that my daughter was trying to get attention. :evil: NOW FOR THE VALIDATION I just found out through one of the class moms that after my dd was no longer in the class, this boy decided to target MANY different girls and was actually physically hurting their private parts! I am so sorry this happened to those sweeties, but I tried to warn everybody. This boy has been indefinitely suspended. FINALLY. And I am filing a report with Child Welfare because I believe he may be being abused. The mom who told me this says "So are you going to come back to school now?" NO WAY. Not after I've tasted the good life. We are loving hs-ing. Sorry this was so long...and if you read this far..THANKS!
Your post wasn't long at all. We enjoy hearing reasons why people homeschool. I would have pulled my child out too. Good mommy! Patty
I'm so sorry your dd had to go through something like that. Congrats on your decision!! Best wish to you and your dd and I hope you love hs'ing as much as I do!
You did the right thing!! Sorry your dd had to go through this. I will be prayering for all involved!!
So if anyone from the school asks, I'd let them know that no. They are a private school, and as such you expect them to take your concerns seriously. They were unwilling to do so, and as a result, other little girls were hurt. You want no part of a school that takes such a light attitude when it comes to the safety of children.
I am so glad you took action to protect your daughter and I am so very sorry other mothers didn't see what was happening before their daughters were hurt. This is a very troubled little boy who needs help but he sure doesn't need to be in a class with little five year old girls waiting to be his next victims. I hope he gets help soon. Beth
That's so sad that they did nothing about the boy until other litle girls were hurt too! Yes, this boy has serious problems and they need to be dealt with! I agree, homeschooling IS the good life! When people look shocked when they hear I'm still homeschooling my children, even the highschooler, there's really nothing more I can say that I haven't already. But I can smile and be happy inside, because I KNOW I have something special that they have not experienced and don't understand!
I'm so sorry that it had to come to that before action was taken. It's difficult to believe that someone didn't know that boy had problems when he is 7 and still in K, and then after the incidents with your dd! Give me goosbumps just to think about it. Your dd is lucky to have you.
I hae noticed that some private schools do not want to accept responsibility when something negative is inflicted upon a child within their care by another person. ESPECIALLY when the perpertrator comes from money. My DS - was targetted. I don't know how seriously he was targeted (I don't know if it got to the levels your DD's did), my DS never spoke of it. He was a very happy rambunctious little boy. He went to the local district PS for pre-school, still very happy rambunctious little boy. Went to that school and became a very sad, un-happy angry little boy. I transferred him back to the PS. He was happier. Not quite the same little boy he was before entering that private school. My child used to kick and scream every school morning when he was at the private school. I fought with him primarily because this was a GOOD school and it was very pricey. Guess whose family was a very large finacial supporter of the school. I will give you one clue, it was not us. They have a large family manufacturing business and made a point of publically making LARGE amounts of monetary donations to the school. DS was falling way behind in school and I started getting many calls telling me that DS was not OBEYING - They never explained how DS was not obeying, jst that he wasn't. When we left, instead of being truthful, the teacher told other parents that we transferred DS because he was special needs and needed to attend a PS where his special needs can be better evaluated and so forth. DS is not special needs. The private school started blaming me and DH and started questioning our household activities to see if DS's issues with disobeying was because of a household issue. When they started that... DS was back in PS the next monday. Anyway, 2 years later, and I am homeschooling now (since December), and I FINALLY have my happy expressive rambunctious boy back I also had other parents contact me after I left. I think you did the right thing.
Jenlyn, my little brother attended an expensive private school for a while. My little brother DOES have ADHD, and it does make him a bit of a pain in the rear. But when he was first put in the private school in 5th grade, everything went well. Also in 6th. Then in 7th, he had to change classes. There were all kinds of trouble. Mom was hearing about kids "picking" on him. His ADHD gave him a short fuse, and the other kids new it and took advantage of it. Mom went to a "conference". At the conference, they told Mom all kinds of stuff, and got on her big time for "not dealing with it". All of it was new to her! No one had said a word to her about ANY of it. He was pulled out! Oh, while we DID pay our full tuition, we did NOT have the money to donate to the ten million different causes, etc. constantly going on, like the families of the kids that picked on him.....
See that is the issue I have. Instead of taking responsible toward protecting the victims, they seem to go out of their way to protect those who are the biggest financial donator. We were working hard to send him to this school, getting prepared for Logan to go there the next year - so double the tuition. So, while we had some extra pocket change to donate to their many causes and so forth (at least that year...), it was no where near what this other family so publically had to offer. I was targeted during my Junior year at a Catholic school. My mother went to the school, they basically told her that the other families are big donators, that we need to either deal or transfer. I transferred out. Both places lost a heck of a lot LESS money by the victim leaving than the perpertrator leaving. It isn't right, it is business. WAY to many educators be it private or public tend to lean towards the bigger money makers rather than what is right. IMO.
You guys are right....it is all political. I am so sorry to hear your similar stories of GROSS inaction by private schools. I was confused by at first by their underreaction. THEN I found out that the boy has cousins and all kinds of relatives that attend the school. I guess they thought it better to lose our family than numerous ones. Too bad they're backed into a corner now because they didn't handle this properly. One of the girls he hurt last week belongs to a family that is a prominent member of that Church (it's a school/church) and this person has ties to the people in charge. You can bet your boots if anyone asks me why we're not going back I will tell them it was due to how this was all handled so poorly! My mom said go to the papers, too. But I questioned what my goals would be in doing that (besides it feeling good! ha) and decided against it. I am praying for those poor girls and even for the boy. He is going to be a huge mess if he doesn't get help. Thanks for the support and shared stories.
Honestly, I would not go to the papers at all. That is just me. Because at this time, you did what was right for your family and it is working out. However IF the other parents did decided to legally take action against the school, I would team up with them. I don't know how hurt your DD was by all this. If it will leave any emotionally scarring, but IMO it did, than the School should be the ones to pay for counsling for ALL the girls that were victimized by this other child. They should take responsibility for NOT doing anything about it in the first place.
Well, I am glad your children...Jenlynn and Shannonu have loving moms like you. I can't imagine what you went through. I think Becky had the right idea about going to the local papers! I am so glad your kids are safe and happy now!
I can see both sides, about going to the papers. I see what you said as valid, but I also see that maybe, if done in a kind way---not done for revenge but for information, maybe it would save some other child from going there and possibly being hurt! Just a thought...
The parents who went to the paper, in my earlier post, did so because they felt they had to since the school could not do anything other then let the teacher go. This way he was exposed, at least to people in the area. Maybe by going to the paper the parents could have protected other children. Hopefully so. Patty
Everyone at the school knows now that this prominent family was victimized. The mom basically sent out a global email!!! Originally I tried to notify the homeroom mom and asked for her advice on warning other moms and she told me to stop gossiping!! She has a daughter. You'd think she would have been worried. The main reason I was concerned about going to the paper is that our news media here is super liberal and they love to bash Christians. I suspect they would use this opportunity to make Christian schools look bad. It's a tough call.
I'm very sorry for what happened to your little girl! My parents began homeschooling after a private school experience as well. My dad was teaching highschool in a private school when my oldest sister was enrolled in kindergarten there. He decided to homeschool when he noticed that when well-mannered, well-behaved previously homeschooled children entered the school, their good manners quickly diminished! So, I was homeschooled thoughout elementary and high school. I loved it!
