We're grown women here- why are we afraid to tell our moms things??Personally, my thinking is, I'm 42 on Monday and my mom isn't my boss any more. HOWEVER...lol, I've said things to her that made me feel compelled to duck after I said it! My sister will be 51 in August and she's still afraid of our mom. The comical thing is, my mom is this tiny 4'9" 73 year old. Isn't it funny how relationships work?
Oh we haven't told the in-laws yet! That will be another priceless moment I assure you. But at least they live 8 hours away and my mil hates driving. It won't be as satisfying as my own mother - but I did cause my MIL to want to go back home one day because I told her to mind her own business about my sons weight (he's got a good tummy on him - but he needs to grow taller the Dr. says - he's completely healthy). I love it when I have my moments of "to heck with what you think".... usually I am very nice and even agreeable We moved to the country because of some of the stuff going on in a "good" neighborhood - we shouldn't have to explain to an 8 year old WHY the drug sniffing dogs are by the kids house and in his friends car. I see it happening at the schools too. It terrifies me. Even though we had some drugs I'm sure in school - I didn't see them because I didn't hang with those kids...but I'm sure if I looked it wouldn't have been a problem. Joe (husband) and I were talking about it last night and of course his biggest worry is my stress-levels. I think he understood the part where I said that I spend the entire weekend "deprogramming" my son at this point. He said it's just "growing up" but I disagree - I think there is a huge difference as respect needs to be established. Some outbreaks are fine and expected - THAT'S growing up - but outright full attitude 24 hours a day - no way - ain't happening (yep I'm going to teach english)
Dana, You ain't "going to" teach English, you "is gonna" teach it! That's why my school bugged me so much. I didn't WANT to be around that, but it was so flagrant. The rich kids, whose parents donated to the schools and were on the school board, had this blanket surrounding them. They knew that if any teacher questioned them, they would tell their parents that this teacher was "picking on them", and the parents would "take care of the situation". Not good!
lol, my son is being picked on by a teacher, I decided it, because he has an attitude lately.. my kid not the teacher, but the same teacher got him suspended ( I use got him in my sons terms) for wearing the jeans under his uniform LOL< and then he got a referal for forgetting his belt, ( same teacher) and now his camera got taken away because he was using it in class( same teacher) and I had to go to the school and pick it up Lol this stuff is petty but if they are on them about this , nothing else shoudl slip by I hope?
Oh I'm terrified of standing up to my mother - always have been .... she is the wicked witch! LOL We actually have a decent elementary school. I know the VP as he does farmer's markets with me and I personally like him and I know the kids do too. I just think that they aren't focusing on what they need to actually KNOW when they get to the higher grades. It goes beyond memorizing and spitting it out on a test. Ask my son about Jamestown and he'll tell you all about it - yet he gets D's and F's on his tests all the time because the pressure is on to rush through the tests.
I am blessed because my mom has supported my hs'ing from the beginning. The only comment ever made by them was when I came home from the conference last year, and started talking with Dad about some ideas for Rachael and high school. All he said was, "I was wondering how you were going to handle that. What you're telling me sounds good!" My in-laws...they were never big on my hs'ing, because my BIL is a former youth pastor, so he knows FOR CERTAIN that ALL hs'ed kids are social misfits. And my FIL was the accountant for a Christian school. He saw all the kids whose parents "couldn't" homeschool, and they quit and put their kids in the Christian school. (That's NOT to say if you put your kids in Christian shcool you're a HS failure!!!) But they knew better than to be openly antagonistic to me about this. Then, my girls' 4-H group had their square dance. We're a HS'ing 4-H, and this is our fundraiser. It was held at my BIL's church, the one who knows all HS'ed kids are socially inept. So he's watching these teens dance with the little ones and their parents and having a GREAT time. He asks me how I knew all these people. Well, it's the kids' 4-H. Probably 90% of the kids in this room are homeschooled, and.... His mouth hit the floor, lol! (I'd like to see his youth group having that much fun with their parents and younger siblings, lol!) Also, he said that our group was the most helpful in cleaning up and helping to set up for church the next day!!!
THAts cool Jackie! My inlaws helped a lot they too were concerned when we got to highschool, thats why they offer to help sending them out. WHich is okay if its the Lord's will. But you all know all the troubles I have with that heheh. Anyway, My own mom was my biggest fan! She said she would homeschool my nephews if she could! But she was sick most of their lives because a dumb doctor put her on oxegyn when she did not need it yet! still, she was always asking me questions and sharing ideas, I will miss that a lot.
Thank you for sharing. Just this week I have been pushed over the edge by my MIL and all her unsupportive, snide remarks. Well, when I say pushed over the edge, I mean I'm tired of it. The next snide remark I will protest and take a stand for our convictions and decisions rather than be shocked someone would say such things and just walk away. So, here's to standing up for what we feel is best for our families! Keep us posted on your interactions with her. Others..... do you snub the people who snub you with your choice to hs? or do you say your practiced response? or just go quiet as if it's just not worth trying to convince them? what has worked for you? cathy
Since we started homeschooling this year we haven't had any bad responses. I think people are afraid to say anything bad about it to me. I must look too mean or something. I honestly haven't had anything more than someone who said they couldn't teach their kids. My mother doesn't seem to have an opinion on it, my father in law doesn't say anything about it and my older sister is 100% in favor of it and her opinion is the only one that matters to me anyway. Our older children who are married think it is great and my oldest grandson wishes he was homeschooled too.
Cathy, let me give you some advice about MIL's and homeschooling. When this is a contention in families, you need to have your HUSBAND deal with it. He needs to lay down the law to his parents. quite often, snide remarkds are made to the WIFE or to the KIDS. He needs to know that this will NOT be tolerated! While he appreciates their concern for the grandkids, and he is willing to discuss any conerns with them (key word: DISCUSS!) they need to understand that HE'S the final say. Then if they bring it up, you tell them that it's not open for discussion, and if they have concerns, to discuss it with their son. PERIOD!!! If they cannot follow these ground rules, then MAYBE you need to back off from them for a while. (And this is NOT a step to take lightly!)
I really want to encourage all of you who are newer to home school and are not getting support.. time really does heal wounds! The inlaws will come around when they see the growth in the children! Plus they gain a real apprecation for what you have given up for your children. A couple summers ago when we had a family camp out my inlaw family dished all my beliefs as far as home school was concerned in front of me... I don't even think they knew what they were doing to me but I am a sensitive person inside, it stays inside untill I hit the boiling point and then even crying out to God for help I had to walk away from camp ... I ran into hubby and told him what I was observing and was crushed that he did not see it. This was the same trip that they discussed sending my son out to private school, which turned out to be good educational choice for me at the time, but God works on us in different ways. Later on the trip my mother in law (husband step mom) took me aside and told me how much they really appreciate all that I have done for the kids, how much I gave up for them etc etc, that I have done an awesome job teaching them and they are so bright etc, all that stuff they say when they want you to knwo that no they dont think you waisted all those years like you were thinking they thought for a few minuts earlier lol I am not sure if she even knew how I felt or if the Lord just sent her to me, she is a Christian too, but it made a big difference. We get protective of our kids and thier learning abilities as teaching moms, we need to know that others feel the same, but its not always going to be told to us by our families. I say to be patient because time will show them that you are doing an awesome thing for your kids! Yesterday talking to someone about hsing, I was so blessed to hear "Oh, A lot of people are doing that lately! I think thats so cool" It felt great, and made me realise I am no longer alone with my hubby in this plight, but the whole country is taking stock in HOme Teaching! Be encoruaged today, those of you who feel as if you are standing alone in your efforts, you are not alone! Just stay strong, know what your kids are doing and be ready with work they have done to share.. for instance if your kid made up a cool story, share it with the grands, or aunts or uncles! Just like you would have if someone else taught it to them! It is good for your kids to be able to show off thier learning btw! Makes them feel 'normal'.. that comes from my kids btw, because my oldest informed me that he wanted a normal life Lol, I had to teach him that normal is realitive term! haha! In highschool I used to wear a t-shirt that said "WHY BE NORMAL?" That is when I realised that there is no normal, its however you live or behave that is relative to our life styles! At anyrate, All this long book of stuff is meant to remind you that you can share your lessons and etc with the inlaws etc, just be sure you are showing off to them the wonderful things your kids are doing! This shows them that yes you are doing an awesome job, and you know what... they will be bragging abotu you behind your back! Believe it!
Hello everyone! I am new to these forums but not new to homeschooling or even teaching (certified teacher), and I at one time had some serious negative opinions and misconceptions about homeschooling. Please forgive me. I know better now, and I am a huge fan of homeschooling! Our story in a nutshell: When we became parents, it became obvious that our local and private schools would not meet our family's needs. We investigated all options, including homeschooling. We were leaning toward homeschooling, but we still had stereotypes running through our heads. So, off we went to a local conference, and our stereotypes were shattered! I tell you this because I understand having ignorant misconceptions about HS. We made it our mission to educate our family and friends on HS'ing, including taking grandparents to conferences. Granted, we have noticed that once people hear that I am a professional teacher, they are less apt to criticize, but we have had a few challenges from people. I am so glad that we involved our parents from the beginning, so they could see for themselves that the stereotypes are wrong. We are blessed to have lots of support - even from teacher friends who were previously anti-HS, too. We have tried to be patient and informative with people who question our choice, but our best weapon against the negativity has been when people see the successes we are having both socially and academically because we HS.
