Last week got my boxes from AOP!!! My kids start the week after they get out from PS - 1 subject a day I figured to ease them into it. Both seem excited and I can already tell I'm going to be fighting an uphill battle with family :evil: Mom just doesn't seem to think I can do it - they won't learn enough- love her confidence in me :roll: To say we don't see eye to eye would be an understatement. But proving her wrong is a good motivator. My husband is all for it - but doesn't think my patience will hold out. And I can see where he is coming from, but I feel at my wits end with my son BECAUSE of PS and the grades he's getting and really no help to fix them unless I employ an outside tutor because even he doesn't have enough time in the day and when they heck is he suppose to just be a kid?? I couldn't imagine what he would do if he actually played all those sports 1/2 these kids play! He'd never get a good night sleep!! Ok - that's my little vent for the moment I keep getting defensive when I talk to my husband so I figured I'd get it out here for a bit.....
You really need to hear from Deena, Prairie Home and some others. I hope they read this. Try --really try to ignore any neg. comments from others. They will see the fruits bit by bit of your decision. Don't expect huge changes in a short period of time either. Our first yr. I tried too hard. It was miserable. When I settled and relaxed the kiddos did too. They began to want to learn. Their relationships with one another improved. My relationship with them improved, but not over night and not even after 2-3 months. But things did evolve and improve. It must be hard to not be supported by your family. I am sorry you have to face that. You CAN do this. I do understand about the patience thing. I still battle it within myself every single day. I'm not wired with tons of patience and it is hard. I have had to chill about so much. I know I haven't been any help--I hope some others chime in. Please vent whenever you need to. We all have been there...and still are there somedays--LOL!!
You must ignore the comments! My mom didn't want me to. (even though I actually have a degree to be a teacher...go figure) My Aunt's don't want me to...for fear they will be unsocialized....LOL My Grandpa told me I was ruining the children. My husband got on board after the first year, when he saw that all was fine. OH and pass them some bean dip
YOU CAN DO IT!< Don't listen to those who say you can't because for one you got the curric that is best to start with, and my kids and Deenas kids have both used them at some point in our teaching 'careers' with our homeschool homes! everyone goes through a time when someone is going to doubt your abilities in somthing and we just need to remember that we can do it. Remember when you work with the kids that if it gets stressful its time for a break or change of pace! Its great idea to go one subject a day for starters, and if you follow the info in AOP you will be able to devide the pages and see how long you want to take how many pages to complete in that much time, that helped my kids to see what they had to do, and taught them to divide big numbers even when little! HA!
HS'ing is a committment, mainly on your part. My thing is; if your critics ain't gonna help then.....bump them! I feel we know our kids better than anyone else! I'm not natually a patient person, but I am determined, resourceful and creative with the desire and goal of teaching my own kids, if I choose to. Have we not been teaching them since they were born? We are, by design; their 1st teachers! Besides, I realized if I can teach other students with their issues (and mine), I can teach my own. No one is perfect (i.e. their teachers and environments at school). So do your thang, not to show anyone but yourself and your family that not only can you do it, but it's the best thing for your family. As we all know; God doesn't give this vision or desire to everyone. :love:
We have faced a lot of opposition as well. I say we, but should say I... my husband hasn't really been confident in me either, but slowly he's come around to the idea. I've gotten a few comments from people who thankfully have been indifferent or held their tongue. I've had far more from people who are VERY opposed. Funny how people suddenly become invested in your life when they disagree with something. My in laws keep making comments about people who were homeschooled and couldn't read, or mothers who homeschooled kids and got put into a "mental institution". I haven't had a single positive or uplifting comment from a friend or family member. Still, I know it's the right decision and I'm determined to make it work. You will too. We can all work on that patience thing together...:roll:
Oh, forgot to mention that my inlaws don't even know!! How is that possible...it's just never come up!
LOL NELLIE! My father-in-law is set against it. (My mother-in-law probably is against it also, but at least she supports whatever I do.) He makes comments and things, and I've only been doing this. . .about 4 months or so, I'd guess. My husband is all for it, but wonders if I have the patience also. Let me tell you what works for me, which may or may not work for you, but at least you know you aren't the only one. Patience: Number one: the housework comes second. This was a big deal for me because I like a clean home. I had to redefine "clean". In the morning I do the dishes, make the beds, hang out a load of laundry, and maybe vacuum if I have time. Then we start the more formal part of "school" at 9:00. I sporadically finish (hopefully) the laundry, make lunch and do those dishes, then we go outside. Around 4 I leave them to their own devices (outside, otherwise this wouldn't work), and I get what needs to get done, bathrooms, mopping the kitchen, and whatnot. I also get dinner started. The point of the above is, we have eased into a schedule that works for us. I let the house go, sometimes all day. The schedule is important for us. Take a break: If you find you are screaming at your kids for not making an "s" the right way, then take a break. I've had to realize (just this week) that my ds6 isn't going to make backward "s's" the rest of his life and I need to relax a little bit, lol. If I get bogged down and am stressed, we have a free day once in a while. Or we just do the cool art thing I had planned and that's it. Sometimes 15 minutes pulling weeds helps me, and we can go on with our day. These are the times that the "schedule" is thrown out the window, for it's just a schedule, not the ten commandments of homeschooling. "Have some bean dip": There's a thread here that has helped me. Don't argue your point about why you choose not to send your kid(s) to a public government funded institution to learn from bullies and uncaring teachers. Read the bean dip thread. It made me laugh and contains some really good advice. http://www.homeschoolspot.com/showthread.php?t=5712 (Thanks, Nellie!) Deschooling: Some people say that once you take your kids out of public school, give them some time to "deschool". To realize it's not about grades,\ or what grade they are in. They aren't slaves to the clock anymore. I actually did what you are doing. I started with one subject, and have worked my way up to five now, but if this becomes too much I'll cut one out and try something new with the "schedule". You aren't alone. Pretty soon people will realize that you care about your kids and their education. They will see you aren't bound for a mental institution, and your kids won't be illiterate. I could site many references of ps kids growing up to be less than perfect citizens, lol.
Thank you everyone... it's just frustrating being questioned on everything by everyone. It's not only with the HS'ing (hey DH let me buy all the curriculum so he's positive I can at least give it a go) I'm 34 years old and sometimes I swear they treat me like I'm a 10 year old. My mother has always done that - and she wonders why I don't call her more often (only called her yesterday because we have extra tomato plants and were willing to give her a few) I think I just need to invest in more chocolate OH - and when I said 2 of his classes were on the computer (SOS - History & Science) I had to take the phone away from my head!! They are his 2 toughest classes so we figured he would do better in a method he actually likes to work in (and I'm planning on setting him up with an older laptop so he can work in the family room so he'll think it's cool). Because my mother is so negative all around I think - I don't really deal with her too much unless I have to. She's never happy with the descisions I've made because she wouldn't make them (I live on a farm - she's in the middle of a city etc).... so I'm wrong in her book. She lives 45 minutes away - and she sees my kids a couple times per year. 1 year - my inlaws who live 8 hours away had seen the kids more than my mother did. Come on June!!!!
You have been given some good advice- but can I mention one more thing? Your kids are old enough to understand stress and losing one's patience. This is something that I am starting to get better with. If we are having a stressful day of school- I let the kids SEE that I am frustrated too, and then we decide what we should do to "unwind". Some days we go for a walk with the dog, some days we put in a movie and pop some popcorn, some days we do an extra devotion, some days we put in an exercise video (or put on music) and just dance and goof around. The more I tried to "hide" my lack of patience with the kids, the worse it could get. This is beginning to help in that my kids know that if they are stressed (they just can't get this geometry, or their lang arts is difficult)- they can ask if we can have a stress-reliever. We usually all come back to the table in a better frame of mind, and the work goes more smoothly. Hope that helps- (and try not to worry about your family- your kids and DH are the only ones who really matter in this!!) MT3
LOL! You could've been describing my mom, to a degree. I'm 36, and my mom still treats me like I'm a teenager. She's generally a 'glass is half-empty' kind of person--- worse when she's struggling with depression. So, I've had to deal with a fair number of critical comments about a lot of our choices over the years. I do give her credit, though. She does try to hold her tongue and not give advice---it's the longer visits when she just can't make it. I'll also say that she's been nothing but positive about our decision to homeschool. That's a relief because she'd needle me to death otherwise. I'll say this---- the only person you really, really need to be on your side is your spouse. It sounds like you've got that--yay! Anyone else who gets snarky? Just tell them to go weed turnips!
Oh Nellie...that is so funny! lol. Ok...anyway...if your husband is on board but has concerns...hey that is better than most. Look, I think I have the best man this side of Heaven and I would have concerns if he told me he was homeschooling. lol. So don't worry about it. It is his job to have concerns. Just focus on his support...and show him that your patience will hold out. As for your mom....well...I remember you mentioning her before and it seems to me no matter what you do you will have issues with her. So whatever. YOu also seemed to handle her pretty well the last time you mentioned her. No offense...but it seems true to form from what you said of her before, that she would question this. I guess we can't be mad at a frog for being green, can we? She will get over it. Now...before you get too hard on people...please understand that homeschooling is a HUGE commitment. You have just basically said that YOU are the SOLE provider of your children educationally. Now to some that is far too overwhelming. Some don't think they could hack it. Pride prevents us sometimes from thinking someone else can do a better job than us. So...just remember...that those who make comments are just insecure about their own ability to take on such a huge task. Don't take it personally! Laws of human behavior state the hurting people hurt people. Hurting people are easily hurt by people. How we see the world is how we see others. There are some that will try to make our burdens heavier and others that will try to lift us up. YOU have NOTHING to do with a person's reaction. You can only control yourself. You are not responsible for other people's sense of insecurity. HOmeschooling is up to you to make this work. When you decided to homeschool you took on a huge responsibility. Huge because most...almost all...will fall on you. So, you make this work. Remember why you made the decision...if you feel you are 100% right in your decision and your husband backs the decision...then who cares about the rest. You are responsible for your children NOT for others reactions or disapproval. I mean really, if I based my decisions off other people's opinions I wouldn't know if I was coming or going! I would be changing like the wind! lol.
Thank you all.... I appreciate all the comments as it is always a good thing to find out you are not the only one in this boat. Funny thing is - 9 times out of 10 - my kids are "the good kids" and I do have to remind myself of that. We do a lot to unwind because I understand their actions sometimes, they are with me at the farmer's markets EVERY SATURDAY almost - and starting this past week it'll be from 8am - 6pm on most days and it's long and tiring. So I can't wait for it to get warmer and we will come home and jump in the pool and just splash until it pass out My theory at the moment - we need to get past day #1 - THEN we'll deal with day 2. I do give my mother a lot of credit - she had to deal with my dad who had a massive stroke years ago and was bed ridden and stayed at home for years. She was his sole care giver with also live-in help. I had 2 young kids and I wasn't able to make it out there very often and really couldn't help with his care. HOWEVER - that time has past..... and well...... now we are at a point where my husband refuses to go to their house without me saying "please" a lot - and it's mainly just to get it over with for awhile.
Wow, lots of good advice here! You don't need mine! It isn't easy without the support you need! I am truly blessed that my husband, my parents and my in-laws support our homeschooling! My main problem was my sister, who had the usual concerns/problems with me homeschooling: socialization, what will they do when they get out into the "real" world, etc. Those are unfounded concerns, and she soon saw that. She is now a great supporter of my homeschooling, and is homeschooling her highschooler now! It's possible your family will come around also. I will certainly pray that they will! Patience is always a concern, I even am concerned about my own patience sometimes! I agree with the one that said they share their impatience, and they come up with ways to work it out TOGETHER! Some parents tend to expect perfection in their kids, but when they aren't perfect themselves, it just causes resentment. Anyway, it's okay to be imperfect, apologize, pray about it together, and move on. Use it as a learning/growing experience! There were some messages shared recently about Homeschooling. I'm bad at remembering where they were. http://www.reason.com/news/show/28174.html http://www.cbn.com/CBNnews/144135.aspx http://www.carolinajournal.com/exclusives/display_exclusive.html?id=3983 http://www.eclectichomeschool.org/articles/article.asp?articleid=25&deptid=1&resourceid=68 Maybe someone already put these up here, but they're good articles, and now they're here together. Print ones out that you think may impress upon relatives that this isn't a far-out, crazy thing that only you are doing. Homeschooling is a huge thing, and colleges are realizing how well homeschoolers do, that they're NOT deprived socially or mentally, or educationally! About "people homeschool to hide their abuse of their kids". It does happen, you can'e deny that, but you CAN say that it's a very small amount of people that do that, it's just those sensational stories that the media picks up on! Why do they want you to send your kids to school where there are guns, drug and alcohol abuse, teen pregnancy, and se-ual things talked about and tried at very young ages, murders, teasing, bullying, labeling, peer pressure, etc.? It sounds safer to me to homeschool with a parents who loves them more than anyone in the world, yet may become impatient sometimes, and maybe yell when they shouldn't, than to send them to school and have some kid get impatient with them and hit them or shoot them!!! Just some thoughts for your mom to think about!
My husband was one of those "on board with some concerns" when we started out. But after 8 years of hs'ing, those concerns have ALL disapeared. He's more vocal than I am when we meet people, to the extent I sometimes have to be careful to temper his comments. (He can border on "it's not possible for your kids to turn out well if you send them to PS", which isn't helpful when a person is REALLY questioning!) I would let your mother know that this is NOT a subject open to discussion. If she feels that strongly about it, then she is welcome to pray, and when God tells you to quit, you will listen to Him! There's a difference between expressing concern about her grandkids (which of course she has!!!) and telling you what is best for youi and the kids. Once she expresses her concerns, she needs to drop it. And sometimes you might just need to say, "Mom, I love you, but it's not open for discussion. I will not talk about it with you." I also believe strongly in letting DH deal with the grandparents!!! (OK, I'll hush now! I feel I'm beginnnig to get on a soap box, and I don't want to do that!!!)
I agree that dh needs to handle grandparents....well...HIS parents. I not opposed to my parents discussing things with my dh. If they talk that is great! Than I am out of it! lol. However, I sometimes do better if I am the mouthpiece in my family. Just my case...I think for the most part Jackie is right on. That isn't even what I was going to post about. lol. I was going to say that I feel like I live on a soap box most of time. I need to learn to shut up. lol.
I guess I am VERY LUCKY to have my in-laws not know about it. LOLOLOL I get enough from the people who do know! :twisted: One phrase I REALLY like to say is: "We do what works best for our family." Once my Gramps said, "and what part of it works for you?" I was thinking hu..then being as I didn't respond because I was still thinking...what?? He says, "II'mmm waaiiittiiinnnggg." (Really drawn out in a high pitched voice and all) I am then REALLY THINKING So I say..."Your kidding right?" LOLOLOL Which I knew he wasn't. He is 90!!! LOLOLOL
Ever since that happend my kids will laugh and laugh and say to me; "II'mmm waaiiittiiinnnggg" In a very high pitched sqeaky voice. LOL Then there is my Dad who goes out to garage sales and buys me a bunch of HS stuff, all the time! Some of the stuff he brings me is pretty good too!
When I found out I was expecting twins my MIL nearly fell over. (In fact, I think she blames the mini-stroke on them!) She's nice, but a natural born worrier. Up until that point, it was fine that we were going to homeschool because my oldest was 5 and school still didn't count yet. (The others were 3 and 1). So first it was. . .you're going to do WHAT? But you'll be so busy with the twins. . .Then it was (Gasp) you're going to breastfeed the twins AND homeschool--absolutely impossible. (If someone can explain to me how breastfeeding twins and homeschooling are related I'll consider a cash prize! LOL) And now 2 years later no one has grown horns, or chest hair, they're not social misfits, they're well educated and surprise, surprise everyone notices that they are so much better able to speak with adults and interact with a variety of ages than their cousins. And now--they still think we're a little weird--but it's okay. I think sometimes it just takes time but eventually (and I have to say I imagine that we'll have the exact same conversation--minus the breastfeeding part--when the kids get to highschool) when the kids are "normal" people tend to lay off. Until then--invest in some ear plugs!
Ya know, the only person that I get outright negativity from is my stepmother. Of course it's from both sides of her mouth. She's always praising how smart, well behaved, well trained, and imaginative my kids are...then out of the other side I get the whole "socialization" issue from her. Well this weekend we were at my nephew's first confirmation reception and my kids were dancing, laughing, jumping around and having a GREAT time with kid and adult alike. Able to talk and answer questions, etc. My husband said to my stepmom "Such a shame that they are sheltered and homeschooled, their so shy and so reserved around others and don't know how to have a good time. Guess we're wrong." LOL What a GLARE he got! Of course, unknowing that he had said that to her, I made a comment too. LOL...didn't fly well! Oh well. They are MY kids and I know what's best for MY kids. So do YOU. NO ONE ELSE will know what's best for your kids. NO ONE. You're gonna be great.
