Another little kiddo arrested

In my son's case, the school was "trying" to deal with my son's behavior. However, their methods of dealing with him were not appropriate and only made the situation worse. Even when we had a written agreement for how to deal with his behavior, they refused to follow it and continued to do things that they knew would cause a meltdown (telling him if he did certain things, he would be rewarded and then not giving the reward, not taking the time to try to figure out what he was saying-he had some pretty severe speech issues at the time).

I don't know this little girl's story, but we can't assume that this behavior is coming from her home environment.

 

Nobody is assuming that the behavior is coming from the home environment.
As parents, whether or not the behavior stems from the home environment or from mental or emotional issues, it is the PARENTS responsibility to make sure it is taken care of one way or another. Speaking for myself, everything I have read, the parents are minimizing a serious problem.

Again, speaking for myself, if I knew my child went into fits like this girl does, I wouldn't put her in school where others can deal with her. I would want to work on the problem myself. While I am not a huge advocate of public or private education, we can't always put the blame on schools because they do not do things our way. Bottom line: MY child, MY responsibility. If I choose to place my child in an institutionalized setting, I also forfeit a lot of say-so. Whether people agree with it or not, it is the way our system functions. It is impossible to please every parent all of the time. If the child was being abused, I would have a problem. In this case, the school is dealing with the child's anger, whatever the cause.

 

I know. Believe me, I'm not assuming it's coming from the home environment, but I'm also not assuming the school is totally at fault.

I know with my step-son, we had an arrangement with the school, and they totally ignored it. We had agreed that he could have a "time out" during recess and spend it with my cousin who taught in there. He felt "safe" with her. This was discussed with the principle and agreed on. I found out it wasn't being done, because it would be "rewarding" his "bad" behavior. Like you, NOT allowing him to do this was exasperating the situation! The other kids knew they could "bait" him, and he'd react. Fortunately, however, it was never as bad as this girl!

 

Who's to say that this child isn't being abused at school? Just because the adults are giving the side of the story that shows the girl was out of control doesn't mean that they were the innocent victims of this girls' tantrums.:roll:

My son was restrained "for safety reasons" for over an hour by adults who basically tag-teamed him. When one got tired, another took over. :evil:The only thing this did was make him more upset and violent. The reason the restraint was begun was because he was promised that if he lay quietly during rest time for 15 minutes, he would be allowed to play on the computer. Of course, within the 15 minutes, he fell asleep. When they woke him up, he went to the computer for his reward, he was told that it was too late (The other kids were having a snack) and that he had to get off (he was 4, by the way). The teacher said she could tell he was "about to melt down" so she grabbed him and put him into a "cape hold" which caused him to completely flip out. He was then carried through the halls by two teachers to the office, where he the restraint continued until his dad arrived. At which point, he was so out of control that he attacked my husband and scratched his face.:cry: Dh carried him to the truck outside and as soon as he was in his car seat and realized no one was holding him down, he calmed down.

This was just one of many episodes like this in the 3 1/2 months my son was in school. I could write a book about all the things they did to him.

Oh, and did I mention that I was IN THE SAME BUILDING? They refused to allow me to help deal with him because they felt he needed to "break his attachment" to me.

I would like to hear from the school what happened that caused this child to have a meltdown in the first place. How many times has this happened and what have they done to try to prevent/deal with it?

Just because a child is in an "institutionalized setting" DOES NOT mean that he/she should be at the mercy of the adults in charge who have no emotional connection with the child.

Some parents don't have a choice but to send their child to public school. That doesn't mean that they should have to forfeit their say-so in what happens to their child.

Okay, I'm going to bow out of this conversation now because I'm getting a little too emotional. This story hits too close to home.

 

Until I read that the child is being abused, I am sticking with I have read. After all, this is the only thing I can base my opionion on.


...and, I do not think they are victims of the girl's tantrums. I think the parents deserve a lot of the credit. Again, mental or not, I think the parents need to address this problem.

Actually, I would like to hear what caused the child to go into this "mood swing" too. If this has happened before I am curious what has been done on the parents part, then on the schools part.

Be certain, I do not believe that everything is black and white and nowhere do I state that the child should be at the mercy of adults because of the fact that she is in an institutionalized setting. Still, I stand by what I said; when we place our children in the care of other people, like it or not, we do give up some say-so. There simply is not enough adults to watch over all the children left in their care and they sometimes have to make choices parents may not agree with. It is up to the parent to decide what they will tolerate and not tolerate. Again, I am assuming this child wasn't being abused.

We would have a perfect system if all parents didn't have to forfeit some say-so. There would be no complaints because everybody would be happy. But it has been proven time and again, it is a faulty system. People who place their children in a faulty system yet do not believe they will forfeit parental say-so, well...

...and this isn't about parents having to place their children in the system. This is about a system that can't handle the amount of children it houses. This is about a school that did the best it can do with what it has.
Again, like it or not, parents DO give up a lot of say-so when they place their children in the care of an institutionalized setting. I have yet to see how a school can possibly meet all the needs of all the parents all of the time.
Frustrating? Yes.
But it is what it is and we have a choice to place our children in that system or keep them from it.