having second thoughts

Discussion in 'Homeschooling' started by mommix3, Jul 17, 2007.

  1. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    As the beginning of the school year gets nearer I am finding myself second guessing my decision to homeschool my kids. I'm feeling a bit guilty about these feelings. I think "what about my ME time" or Am I EVER going to have time to myself again. While deep down inside I KNOW this is the best thing for my kiddos. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! :confused: I wonder if I can do it and I am getting overwhelmed with the fact that I have 3 kiddos to teach. But then again I think that I'll have more time to spend with the kids. YES, I'm contradicting myself. UGH!! I just found out today that I don't have a baby sitting job come the beginning of next month. And that was the money I was using for the kids homeschooling fund. Not like it was a ton of money anyway. Only $150 a month. And to top that off I still don't have all of the kids stuff for next year and it has been SUPER slow at hubbys shop. He's paid on commission and if theres no work,there's no money. I guess I really just needed to vent a little. I'm having a down day. Thanks for listening to my little whine session.

    Angela
     
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  3. chicamarun

    chicamarun New Member

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    I'm with you on the nervous part - especially since I just filed my NOI and am BRAND NEW to all of this :)

    My husband has an odd schedule so sometimes he works nights. My own time was actually a concern more of his than mine... but I resolved it some by saying that the kids need to be in bed and I have "mom time" where I am not to be disturbed after that. They go to their rooms early on those nights (usually husband isn't here) and they have room time - I say good night but they can do "stuff" in their room until I specified time. It's simple and allows me to unwind and relax and take a deep breath.

    Take it one day at a time... I'm finding by starting in the summer I don't seem as stressed right now if I miss a day or blow the day off. But I think if we allow this now and again already - none of us will be as stressed about it come "real school" season.
     
  4. Emma's#1fan

    Emma's#1fan Active Member

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    Are you taking "Mommy Time" breaks for yourself?!
    This is so important as a homeschool mom. We are with our children all day and it is necessary to have some time alone. Sometimes I will go outback and Ems wants to come and I tell her that I need some time alone. It is only to the back, but sitting under the tree's shade and closing my eyes is so relaxing. I think so many of us go through these feelings. You are not wrong to want time for you. It is essential to take care of you or you can't take care of them. :love:
    Patty
     
  5. the sneaky mama

    the sneaky mama New Member

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    Not that this helps right now. . .but I think hindsight is such a good elixir for this type of thinking. You're not horrible or selfish. . .you're trying to work out in your head the logistics of homeschooling 3 kids and it can get tricky no doubt.


    I bet a year from now you'll be able to say gosh I'm so glad I homeschooled because. . . but right now it's all a big question mark.

    One day at a time, one foot forward at a time and so on. . .
     
  6. Emma's#1fan

    Emma's#1fan Active Member

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    Very true!
    When I look back to our early homeschooling days, I had my doubts. Now I look back and see how much we have accomplished and grown.
    Patty
     
  7. Marylyn_TX

    Marylyn_TX New Member

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    I'm sorry about the financial stresses. I'll be praying that work at your husband's shop picks up so much that it covers what you are losing in child care money. :)

    For the rest of it, well, you sound perfectly normal to me! :lol: We get anxious and we start second-guessing ourselves and seeing all of our weaknesses and doubting that we will do a good job - or even an adequate job and we must have been crazy to even start all of this! Yep, I've been there.

    What helps me is to remember that my husband and I prayed very hard about this and we truly believe that God has called us to homeschool. And if He called us, He will equip us.

    Hang in there!
     
  8. missinseattle

    missinseattle New Member

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    I think it's normal to have these feelings when you're just starting out. I had them, a lot because dd and I butted heads a lot. It was really hard for me to remember that she was only kindergarten- we pulled her mid year. Academically speaking she was above and beyond that so I pushed a lot. But by month 2 I relaxed quite a bit and we had so much fun and it amazed me how much she learned.
    Our only option is private school which would mean me going back to work full time which dh doesn't want. We'll never put her back in public school so long as we live here. I can't say what we'd do if we transfer somewhere else.
    I remind myself how bad it was at school and how unhappy we all were with the school and that keeps me feeling positive about this decision.
     
  9. crazymama

    crazymama Active Member

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    Oh mama.. you are so normal for having these feelings! I don't find enough mama time for myself and honestly my family pays for it. I have a really hard time putting myself first, and then I stew about it inside because I didn't get to do this or that. I have started to give myself a mental vacation while I am washing dishes and it helps. I also constantly worry I am going to miss something that my kids desperately need to know. Like over the weekend I started feeling like a bad mom because I realized my oldest didn't know very many famous fairy tales.. so yesterday I went hunting them.

    You will do fine! Take a break when you need a break, and BREATH!
     
  10. becky

    becky New Member

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    Jeannie knows few fairy tales and the like because most are so violent! If they come up some how I'll tell her about them, but geeze, I didn't teach any formally.

    What is this Mommy time?? That does not exist here.
     
  11. crazymama

    crazymama Active Member

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    Becky.. I don't have much real mommy time I try to at least hit the shower every other day, but with a 2 yo and a 1 yo that is next to impossible unless I do it in the middle of the night. I just read an article in an old "Parenting" magazine about 5 ways to relax, and one was a mental vacation... I tried it and loved it! It also recommended imagining yourself in an elevator on the tenth floor, counting down to the bottom floor while taking deep breaths and relaxing yourself a little more with each floor... this one works well for me too, and sometimes I combine them (I take the elevator from my "hotel room" and then I go to say the beach or just a nice open field of super soft grass, or well you get the idea). 5 minutes later I can deal with life again.. and like I said I often "travel away" mentally while I do the dishes.

    And the fairy tales.. I don't think he has ever even heard ones like The Boy Who Cried Wolf:oops: We read alot, but they just never showed up in our reading.
     
  12. lovetocrochet5

    lovetocrochet5 New Member

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    OH my gosh this is soooooo me!!!
    Wow! Its like you typed my feelings for me!
    I so want my kids to be home with me and i am ready now i think..
    any of you ladiers want to write me snail mail?? or call me some time?? If so PM me!
     
  13. RedBedHead

    RedBedHead New Member

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    I love the mental vacation idea. I think I'm going on a few of those today.
    I also share the same feelings. What in the world am I doing? When will I ever be alone again? But, I have to trust that this will all work out.
     
  14. becky

    becky New Member

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    I don't want a mental vacation.. or a real one! I'd just like to get to the gym regularly. That airs my head out. Spouse simply won't cooperate, so I can't get there when I need to. They have babysitting, but the hours are limited and don't work for me.
     
  15. CelticRose

    CelticRose New Member

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    I play soccer once a week, which really clears my head space out & I get an hour or so first thing in the morning before most of my household gets up. It all helps. Just grab what you can & make the most of it 'cause for sure once everyone's up I don't even get dunny time to myself!:)
     
  16. homeschooler06

    homeschooler06 Active Member

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    I get overwhelmed and get doubtful too. I have three children also. I will get anxious a bit when I see other children knowing more than mine. That's when the second guessing comes to play. Then I sit back and remember the why's I do it. I just have different priority's than that family. Mommy time? I don't have it very often. We do everything together. I do go out once a month to a homeschool meeting.
     
  17. mommix3

    mommix3 Active Member

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    I am finally realizing that I HAVE to have some alone time for ME. I always felt guilty but I'm giving in now. This usually happens after hubby gets off of work or after the kiddos are in bed. I have started quilting and I LOVE it. I made a quilt the other day and I am in the middle of starting another one for my son's birthday. He has been begging me forever to make him one so I'm finally caving and doing it. It's going to be made out of old denim jeans. It's called a raggy quilt because the edges are showing on the outside. I also just made my first cloth doll. Kinda like a cabbage patch VERY cute. I locked myself in my bedroom after hubby got home today so I could finish it. My 3 year old was banging on the door the whole time. She had been bugging me all day long about making the head for the doll. When I would go to look for the doll body she would be carrying it around. Mind you it had NO HEAD LOL!! It was cute but I was getting frustrated so I put it up and waited till hubby got home then I finally decided it was bedtime for her and gave her a bedtime huggy and said her night night prayers and off she went.
    So I guess I'm not the only one who can't take a shower or bathroom break without the kids beating the door down. My kids favorite thing to say when I'm in the bathroom is "I'm thirsty". And it NEVER fails. EVERYTIME!! I think its a joke to them.

    Angela
     
  18. bunnytracks

    bunnytracks New Member

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    I honestly could have written this Thread. With a new baby and a husband about to deploy for 1 year I am totally overwhelmed with the idea of homeschooling even though it isnt' my first year. There will be so many things going on this next year and pressure that I am starting to let those around me wear me down with the "your going to homeschool on top of everything else?"
     
  19. chicamarun

    chicamarun New Member

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    I"m having mommy time today - ok my mother has the kids (a not so often occurance) where Joe & I had a date night last night!

    Now he's at work and the kids aren't due until around dinner. So I read a book and looked at stuff....dehydrating some peppers.... you know exciting stuff!! Shower??? No but maybe a bath tonight when I wait for JOe to come home :)
     
  20. crazymama

    crazymama Active Member

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    Oh Dana you lucky duck!!! I refuse to let my mom watch my kids.. or well I won't ask her because she has such a fit if I do, and does nothing but complain about having to do it. My MIL loves to watch them, but doesn't very often because FIL is kind of a jerk, and doesn't care for them to be around. We haven't had a date night in forever and a day.
     
  21. becky

    becky New Member

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    Sommer, my mom won't watch my Jeannie, either. She doesn't want to give up her shows that she enjoys each day, and while most aren't bad themselves, it's the previews for the soaps I worry about. So, she just won't keep Jeannie for me.
     

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