the girls and I were at the library today. I ran into a neighbor. We got to talking about the gas prices and everything else. We got to bouncing around ideas for carpooling and such. I mentioned that with my work( this is important) schedule. It would be very hard for me to carpool. Her respose was "well put those kids in school and get a job." Excuse me, I have a job and we bust our butts to make everything work so we can give our kids the best we can, and we don't believe that is ps for us. HS is going so perfectly. I just wanted to vent a bit to someone who would understand. Thanks:wink:
Sheesh, I think I would have slapped her!! I hate the whole real job vs "just" a SAHM. It's so ridiculous!
what really gets to me is how people feel free to suggest what we as parents should or shouldn't do with our kids. I'm wondering what her reaction would be if you suggested she take her kids out of school and homeschool them. She'd definitely save on gas and wouldn't need to carpool!:roll:
The problem there is that her 2 boys have graduated highschool. the one has major mental problems. They both smoke and drink, among other things. I realize some of this is parenting. But for her to tell me that the schools aren't that bad. When I have all kinds of kids coming up to me and asking me to talk to their parents about homeschooling. I also have several psing parents asking me about hsing options. Then there is the bullying problem. That the school officials response is to tell the parents that they are imagining things and the school has it under control. Don't get me started on the drugs and other "extra curricular" activities going on among the kids. No our schools aren't that bad. :roll:
The first thing that popped into my head: What does that little bfh think you do all day? Sit around eating bon bons and your kids fend for themselves by picking Cheetos out of the couch? That was a nasty comment she made. Hope she felt better after making that vile comment. Pretty low! Sounds like she raised some winners, not! Sorry she was so hateful with you.
Unfortunatly, I have learned to just let these comments slide by. Take it with a grain of salt type deal. They don't really know what they are talking about.
Ok, so you didn't slap her, but what DID you do? Did that remark bring the conversation to a screeching halt or did you manage to smile and go on? That's one of those scenarios that I'd play over in my head imagine all sorts of clever responses I should have said. Eventually, I daydream enough scenarios in which my foe was skillfull vanquished with the perfect verbal retort that I come to believe it was so, and I feel better. Personally, I like the "slapping" idea (if it weren't for those pesky laws about "aggravated assault"); it's faster and probably more satisfying that daydreaming a post-event response.
This is exactly what I do. I pretty much walked off after that. This is one of those that I think about for days afterwards and come up with all kinds of whitty comebacks that would have blown her away. *sigh* There are some days I really don't like being a delayed reaction person. This kinda thing also makes me glad that I pretty much keep to myself.
DOn't forget that she and her kids have been socialized. The think that drug problems are normal. You are the one raising misfits. Don't you understand that if you put your kids in school and got a job that you could have more "stuff" than you have now and that would make your and your kids "more normal".
Do you think she was being hurtful on purpose or just completely ignorant? I am finding that people that aren't pro-homeschool are not only judgemental but a bit ignorant of all the amazing benefits of homeschooling. I'm new to homeschooling so I'm just beginning to understand what others have gone through before me. I'm dealing with unsupportive in-laws. Even if her "intent" wasn't to be hurtful, her words were and that stinks. I know from personal experience that forgiving people is sometimes a whole lot easier than forgetting what they did (or said). Chin up.
I hate when people feel the need to tell others how to raise their kids. Especially when they are doing a crappy job on their own kids. I have only had one person tell me I should put my kids in school but the next time if ever it happens again I am totally going to suggest they homeschool theirs! I love it! What a great come back! I mean really what would someone say to that! Haha!
Thank you everyone for all of your support and advice. I love the suggestion of telling them to homeschool their kids. I have known this gal for a long time. ( I babysat her boys) I can't help but think she was being spiteful. Somedays she comments and congratulates me on how much I use the library. Then other days she will come out with a comment like this. Usually I try to avoid her when we are there. I spend a lot of time with the childen's librarian, who is an incredible lady from our church. I am getting very good a blowing off comments like this. I believe that they do originate from ignorace. Fortunatly we can keep to ourselves most of the time. And the girls have some great experiaces through karate and figure skating. Most people around here are supportive if not a bit jealous of the fact that we can homeschool. So like I said I try to ignore the comments from the uninformed. I just felt better sharing with you all and getting some support from people who have been there. Thanks!!
Just a random thought. I knew that my community supported my family and our choice to homeschool. But, I didn't realize just HOW many people embraced my kids and our decision to homeschool until my ds' graduated in May. They received so many cards, gifts and guests at their party that I was just amazed. I had two people stop me at the post office on Saturday to say congrats and to tell me they hadn't forgotten my kids and they would be bringing a gift to them. Even the doctor who delivered them (haven't seen him in 14 years) and took care of them when they were toddlers (no long in private practice) sent them a card and cash! My point, there are a lot of good and positive people, just the bad ones get all of the attention.
Yeah, I can relate. One of my friends always tells me I need to put my kids in PS so that I can have a life of my own. I think my friend more or less regards PS as a glorified babysitting service. I do have a life, a wonderful one. I'm enjoying my life homeschooling my children!
