I feel like such a bad mommy....

Discussion in 'Homeschooling' started by crazymama, Sep 18, 2012.

  1. crazymama

    crazymama Active Member

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    So my Reagan has struggled from day one of trying to learn to read. He would be doing great during a lesson and just poof he would go into meltdown mode sobbing that he just can't and he "don't know".

    Never once did it occur to me that there may be something bigger going on with him.

    The past few weeks he has started complaining of headaches while doing school, esp while reading. I thought maybe he was trying to get out of his work, but then last week one day he said "Mom, when I try to look at this I get a headache." A lightbulb went on in my head... he really is getting headaches :(

    Saturday we went to the eye dr for our annual exams. Yes, Reagan needs glasses, like badly.

    I feel horrible that I put off our appointments that we should have had in the spring. The year before when we had our exams, he refused to participate, so they were most likely pretty bad back then. He picked out the cutest frames, I can't wait till he gets them, not only will he be able to see properly, but he looks so cute in them. How on earth did I not realize that maybe there was a reason beyond stubbornness as to why he couldn't read?
     
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  3. mom2lydia

    mom2lydia New Member

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    Don't feel bad. At least you know the problem and have it corrected now. My daughter was the same way complaining of headaches. She was younger though, around 2 yrs old. I took her to the dr they ran all the tests and basically said we don't know whay she has headaches this bad so young. Sent her to a neurologist who said the only conclusion she had was that it was migraines. At 3yrs old still dealt with it and at 4 the dr said, well maybe it's her eyes. Took her to the eye dorctor and she had a lazy eye that was almost bond. Had she lost her good eye they wouldn't have even been able to correct it enough for her to legally drive. Now at 7 she is doing better and she developed an interest in reading on her own once she could actually see the pages right. Her eyes being forced to work together has helped relieve a lot of the headaches after she adjusted to wearing them and seeing properly.
     
  4. BatmansWife

    BatmansWife New Member

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    Well, at least this is hopefully an easy fix. Better to fix weak eyes with glasses than to fix a negative attitude.

    My youngest will be 9 next month and has had eye exams each year since she was 5. Everytime the eye doctor says, "She doesn't need glasses yet". The last two times he said "it's close...but not yet". Each time she is so disappointed, sometimes she's even cried. She's been wanting glasses soooooo badly for 4 years. I think when he finally says it's time for glasses....well, I just don't know how she'll react. She'll probably shed tears of joy.

    I even resorted to getting her fake glasses from Claire's Club, which are just adorable. Although she rarely wears them....usually only when she has her wig on and fake mustache (she is a spy as well as a superhero ;) ).
     
  5. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 New Member

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    When dd11 was little, she used to fall off things all the time. She would just be sitting in a chair and fall out. We thought it was just her being a little clumsy and we even called her "madame fallsalot". :) I remember one time when she was about 4 that she was watching tv and she said, "Look at that giraffe" but it was a cow. Still didn't occur to me that it could be her eyes. She knew all her letters and could write her name. I was shocked when I got a letter from school that she had failed the eye exam. I even asked her teacher if she had been in the room because I thought maybe she did it on purpose because she wanted glasses. Her teacher said, "I was there. She couldn't see any of them." DH took her to the dr. and she is VERY far sighted. She got her glasses when she was 4 and I expected to have lots of lost or broken glasses, but no. She puts them on as soon as she gets up and doesn't take them off until she goes to be. She even wears them in the shower sometimes, because she needs them so badly. I felt like such a bad mom!
     
  6. kbabe1968

    kbabe1968 New Member

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    ((((HUGS))) YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER!!!! :) Had to be said!!!! :)

    Glad you found what may be causing his issues, hoping the glasses make learning to read easier. :)
     
  7. clumsymom

    clumsymom New Member

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    We put eye exams off for our kids for years. When my son was 11 we finally tools the kids to the eye dr. There were no signs of either needing glasses. He got his first glasses that year with my daughter following the next year. I felt bad and expressed that to the doctor. He said that most kids bad eye sight was discovered in school, because they can't read the chalkboard. I guess kids just get used to seeing things blurry and don't realize it can be different.
     
  8. crazymama

    crazymama Active Member

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    Thanks everyone.

    He is nearsighted? I guess that is what it is when things are close and you can't see them, but can see far away? Dr said he should wear them with anything at arms length or closer but it won't hurt if he wears them all the time. I think he will wear them all the time, I'm debating on making him leave them in when he plays outside, we got the 180flex frames and poly lenses that are less likely to scratch, but he is all boy and usually covered in bumps and bruises. Hope he doesn't break them all the time, our insurance only buys frames every other year... that really scares me for a little kid.
     
  9. JosieB

    JosieB Active Member

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    You're not a bad mom,though I know the feeling.
     
  10. clumsymom

    clumsymom New Member

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    As long as the glasses don't completely break, the optical shop where you get them should be able to adjust them when they get bent a little. My son gets his adjusted 2 or 3 times a year at no charge.
     
  11. Actressdancer

    Actressdancer New Member

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    From the time I was 4 I started begging for glasses. My mom thought I was being cutesy. I had my first eye exam at 5 and the doctor insisted I failed the exam on purpose. Repeat at 6, and 7. By 7 though, my mom thought maybe I so desperately wanted glasses because I desperately needed them. She argued with the eye doc that I wasn't lying and really did fail the test. He wouldn't budge. It took her another 6 months of many out-of-pocket exams before she found a doctor that had a *new* machine that allowed him to see into my eyes as well as I could see out. He was floored that I could even function.

    You knot what? I needed glasses for at least 3 years before I got them and I am just fine. Reagan will be, too.
     
  12. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 New Member

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    When I went with dd14 (who was in 4th grade at the time) to the eye doctor, I swore she was faking just to get glasses. She was 4th grade and reading at a 12th+ level, never complained about headaches or not being able to see something. But the more I watched the more I was convinced she was for real. Her problem is just with one eye, so she had learned to compensate with her other. For the longest time, she insisted that she could see fine without her glasses. Now that she's been wearing them for a while, she can tell the difference with her glasses on.
     
  13. KrisRV

    KrisRV New Member

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    Sommer you aren't a bad mother.

    Its just one of things we over look. Just look at this way he will now take books and read and read and read.

    So, happy you found out what was wrong and now school will be easier for him
     
  14. crazymama

    crazymama Active Member

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    Thanks everyone :) I feel much better now. I really felt bad. I almost cried at the eye dr. She was very very nice and never acted like it was a big deal that it had gone unnnoticed, but I just felt like I had had blinders on or something.
     
  15. Meggo

    Meggo New Member

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    Aw, you poor thing! Don't beat yourself up-- Hope reading goes much better from now on!
     
  16. sixcloar

    sixcloar New Member

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    My dd11 went to the eye doc for the first time at 5. My oldest had glasses at 4 after failing a screening, and my dd14 had been diagnosed with a perception deficit a year earlier. It never crossed my mind that she was having issues, because I didn't see evidence of it. Her left eye had completely shut down. The eye doc did make me feel bad about it. She kept asking why I didn't notice her turning to one side. She didn't do that. (We think because she's left handed, her right eye automatically looked over her hand.). I do feel really bad sometimes, because her eye is cemented at 20/60 with a (thick) lens. I was told if it had been detected earlier, she would have had better results. I can't change it now though. Sometimes, there just aren't indicators of problems. We do the best we can!
     

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