Hi, girls. Kevin had his surgery Friday and it went perfectly. He's home now, came home yesterday actually. He's restless and each move he makes he has to plan out. He has mild C.P. and this was surgery to stretch the muscles up the back of his leg, and straighten the bones in his foot. It took 1 1/2 hours. The doctor and the nurses whp cared for him were so kind and gentle. They even looked after us while we waited with him. My daughter, Jeannie, his sister, is almost 4 and she behaved like a champ all day- from 6am-9:30pm when we got home! Thank you, thank you for all your prayers. I truly believe our Father took care of him that whole time, plus back in'00 when he had the first leg done. I even believe He helped Jeannie to behave all that time. He loves us and He knows our needs, and I'm so thankful we have our Rock to hold onto!!!
Whew-hoo! Glad to hear that God took care of Jeannie, too. It's so cool when we get those added bonuses! 8)
Yep, He took care of every last small detail. Now, I'm running my legs off up and down the steps helping Kevin! Between him and Jeannie I'm busier than a one armed paper hanger!!! :lol: Here's something I didn't expect- Jeannie thinks I don't love her anymore because I have to spend extra time with her brother. I have to do things like wash his hair, take his meals to him, etc., and this is time away from her- in her mind. She's not hateful toward him or anything like that, but she said today that maybe if she tells me she's sorry for whatever she did I will love her again. I cried! I never ever tell her I don't or won't love her even if she is bad, and this talk just started when Kevin came home last Saturday. The way kids think, huh?
You know, Becky, that is so common when one child needs extra help for a time. Are you familiar with Jeannie's primary love language? (i.e. gifts, one-on-one time, acts of service, touch, or words of affirmation). I'd really zoom in on her primary one right now so that even if your time is limited, she'll know in her own special way that your have plenty of love to share .
Hey, Brooke- can you explain that more? Primary love language- how I show her? You know, I said she's not hateful toward her brother. She doesn't even complain that I'm doing more with him! She has just been different since Saturday, and then she came off with that statement yesterday, bless her heart. She's the sweetest child I have ever met in my life, and I'd say that even if she weren't mine.
Becky, I don't mean to jump in here and take Brooke's answer, but I was just reading the post and thought I'd explain....... there is a book out called "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It's a Christian book, so I'm sure you can find it at any Christian bookstore, and I'm positive you could get it from CBD. Anyway, when it first came out, it was primarily written for spouses. The point: to determine which "language" is that of your spouse, and learn to do things to satisfy their love language. He has since written several more- one dealing primarily with children, and another for teenagers. I haven't read either of those yet, but I should. You should check it out. Jeanne's language may be quality time, which she'd be lacking in right now if you're having to spend so much time with Kevin. HTH, Heidi
Thanks, Heidi, for jumping in on that one. We've had terrible storms all night and day so I've been offline. I haven't read any of Dr. Chapman's books entirely, but I have completed his siminars on marriage where he discusses the 5 love languages in some length. I've also attended other siminars in which the speaker discussed them in depth. I listed the 5 love languages in my last post but here they are again: 1) giving/receiving gifts 2) words of affirmation 3) one-on-one quality time 4) touch 5) acts of service The quickest way to figure out which one you/your child/your spouse respond best to is to observe which one that person USES most often to SHOW love. It took me about 30 seconds to figure out my son's once I knew to look for it (his is quality time). It sometimes depends on the age of the child, or so I've heard. They tend to use all of them and then start to gravitate toward one or two as they get older. Using this knowledge has made a huge impact in our family!
let her help too Maybe you could ask her to help too. Let her take him a book, video, apple or something small like that. She maybe would feel like he needed her too.
Hang in there Becky. I think I would enlist her help too. We'll keep you all in our thoughts and prayers. Tammy
I've been watching her attitude ever since she said that to me the other night. She's still not overt in any way, like jealousy or tantrums. I have noticed she's up on my lap more, she'll kiss me now, etc. She's real lovey-dovey. The hilarious thing here is, her brother hates it that I have to help him! I know he feels frustrated at needing help, but he also is Mouth Almighty toward me. I have told the boy he'll be on his own if he doesn't clean up his attitude. Of course, I wouldn't let him get himself in danger, but I also think it would do him good to be as independent as he can. He uses a walker and actually he gets around good. As far as Jeannie helping- she loves to. She'll run things upstairs to him, like soda or something small like that. I will start watching closer what I think will help her feel more secure. I did also note she's not like this with her dad, but then he doesn't do as much for Kevin as I do, plus he's not 24/7 with Jeannie like I am. I guess she's fine with him because he's just sort of 'there'.
Becky, I forgot to mention that another way to see what type of "loving" a person craves is to see what they withhold when they are upset. It might be that she is needing to be held since she has become what my family calls a "touch-me-not"....lol. Whatever you figure out, I'm sure she won't bare any lasting scars from the whole ordeal :wink: .
