Making them actually pay for a consequence

Discussion in 'Other Conversation' started by cabsmom40, Jun 24, 2013.

  1. cabsmom40

    cabsmom40 Active Member

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    OK, my son it older so keep that in mind. He is 18.

    The other day, as I was coming home from work he got mad at someone else in the family and went outside to vent. Well, he decided to vent by throwing some things. His pinky finger got caught something and he broke it. It is not a bad break, but a break nonetheless.

    He offered to pay some and in my mind it seems reasonable enough to have him pay some of the expenses. He doesn't work, but he earns some money here and there and will be earning some with my dad this summer.

    It just feels a little weird though. I don't think it is wrong. I mean he is an "adult" and it was all his fault. I guess I should be thankful and not worry about the weird feeling.
     
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  3. ochumgache

    ochumgache Active Member

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    I think it is impressive that he offered to pay some of the cost. Pat him on the back for being willing to assume some responsibility and take his money! (Then use it to buy him a punching bag and some padded boxing gloves for safer venting.)
     
  4. crazymama

    crazymama Active Member

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    I wouldn't expect payment for the medical bills, but we have always required the kids to pay for things they break or destroy on purpose... and the are younger. If they do not have money, we make them a log and a list of extra chores and they have to work off the balance of the replacement costs.
     
  5. Brenda

    Brenda Active Member

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    Did this in our home as well! Lesson learned when they wanted a treat and didn't have money because they had to pay for something they broke but they learned VERY quickly
     
  6. KariJ

    KariJ New Member

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    This is for his own medical bills? I think he's very lucky that you're willing to cover some of the cost.
     
  7. crazymama

    crazymama Active Member

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    I was just thinking on this... I forgot your son is older, he is graduated now right? I probably would ask for some of the medical bills... even if you don't need him to help pay for it. I would sink it into an account or something for him for later if you can afford to do that.
     
  8. cabsmom40

    cabsmom40 Active Member

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    Yes, one of the factors is that he is older.

    I feel torn.

    On the one hand, he was in a rage and threw something and hurt himself. On the other hand he doesn't earn a lot of money and I am his mom and his medical bills are still my responsibility.

    He is 18, but he doesn't graduate until December (hopefully).

    What I may do is have him pay me and then give it back to him a couple of weeks later.

    Just a couple of weeks ago I told him that I wanted to help him pay for a new airgun. They can be quite expensive. I told him I didn't know how much I could help, but I wanted to encourage his interest.

    So, maybe I could keep the money he gives me and add it to the money I had already planned on giving him and let him know that I still want to bless him and that I am returning the money to him. He is a very appreciate young man and I am sure he will understand the blessing.
     
  9. crazymama

    crazymama Active Member

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    I think that sounds like a good plan.

    What did they do for his pinky? I broke mine, they wanted to cast me clear up above my elbow because the tendons in your arms make your pinky bones move?? I said heck no, now my pinky is all wonky, it catches and pops and hurts and ... yeah sucks. Probably should have put up with the cast, it would have been off soon.
     
  10. cabsmom40

    cabsmom40 Active Member

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    They put a splint on it in the ER. We went to the orthopedist and he said it wasn't broken.

    Oh well.

    Thankfully my insurance is pretty good. I have a $50 ER co-pay and 100% of the first $300 is covered for injuries caused by accidents. Also, it covers x-rays if a doctor orders them. So, I will most likely not be out too much money.
     
  11. Jackie

    Jackie Active Member

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    I would think he should pay the co-pay. He's old enough to know not to rage like that. He's an adult, and should be treated like one.
     
  12. 2littleboys

    2littleboys Moderator

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    I agree. I don't think there is anything magical about the number 18, either. It's an arbitrary number chosen by the government ... old enough to be drafted and to vote, not old enough to drink, etc. Some children are mature enough to be considered adults before or after 18, though.

    Sounds to me like he's an adult, and he's trying to do the right thing. I'd let him!
     

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