Parenting Manual: The Bible

Discussion in 'Christian Issues' started by Meg2006, Jun 22, 2012.

  1. Meg2006

    Meg2006 New Member

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    I was looking for a lovely cause and effect Behavior chart for the kids that has a bible verse attatched to it, so that they can hear what the bible has to say about how we should behave. I stumbled upon a Christian forum hoping to find some great resources for this chart. I know, I could easily have made one on my own, but I wanted some examples and some neat ideas others might have had.

    So I scroll down a little and I scan (on this Christian Forum) this statement: "Frankly, I think that parents often use the Bible to beat up on kids and then we wonder why they do not care for the things of the Lord."

    Say what? hhmmm. I know of some cases where there has been a sense of abuse, but for the average person? IMO, No. I couldn't help but read on to see how this person supported what they said:

    I know... People think I am way overstating the issue and being way too serious... But, imagine, if you will, that your husband were to leave you a list of things that needed to be accomplished at home today, and by each item was Bible verse.

    Do laundry. "Wash your hands, you sinners." James 4:8
    Call the plumber. "The have forsaken me... and have dug their own cisterns,
    cisterns that cannot hold water" Jeremiah 2:13
    Go to the bank "Godliness is a means to financial gain." I Timothy 6:5

    Not only is there some abuse of scripture going on there, how does this make feel about your spouse who gives you such a list?

    Yes, God is clear that children are to obey their parents. But that is not a weapon we should use as we take on the task of civilizing our children.

    I thinks charts can be a great parenting tool. I think children will benifit greatly from memoriziing scripture. I am just none too fond of combinging them both.


    I was sputtering, and stammering! Another person replied to this saying, "I couldnt agree more, i think too many people use the Bible as a parenting manual." Another said the poster was, "very wise."

    Isn't the Bible a Manual in itself?! Showing us the way to lead our lives in a Godly fashion?! Am I missing the point here or is the Bible just a Non-Fiction work these days? I just...wow. I realize that putting bible verses on behavior charts isn't for everyone, but in my opinion children need to hear and see what the Bible has to say about certain behaviors so when they go to do the behavior in the future they will remember what God has to say about it and try to live in the way of the Lord. Do not tell the verses in anger, but in LOVE! God wrote this because he LOVES you, and I love you too so we will talk about this without anger and hostility! Am I just way off base? What are your thoughts?
     
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  3. Emma's#1fan

    Emma's#1fan Active Member

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    I believe the Bible is a guide for life, not chores.

    With that said, I do not have a problem with using scriptures on a behavior chart. The person from the other forum is confused between the rolls of a husband and wife and a parent and child. A husband takes his wife as is and shouldn't try to change her or "chart" her day for her. A parent has every right to make a chore chart for their child, guiding behavior with scripture. I personally wouldn't use scripture next to each chore because I do not believe the scriptures were written with chores in mind. But a behavior chart is not the same a chore chart.

    ...and there is also a huge difference is beating your child with the Word and training up your child in the Word. This person sadly confuses the two and then uses a completely different relationship with different dynamics to prove her point.
     
  4. Minthia

    Minthia Active Member

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    I know so many people who use scripture verses IMO unrighteously. They use them in an argument to prove the other person is wrong, or to tell their wife she isn't being obedient to her husband etc.

    People can twist any scripture to try to make their point. I use bible verses for handwriting practice and when my kids do something really naughty we talk about how their choice made God feel and then we find scripture verses together that reinforce positive behavior.

    Things can always be taken overboard...and by using the bible inappropriately it can drive our children away from Christ. There is a difference between training a child in Godly ways and pounding scriptures down their throat in negative ways.
     
  5. Meg2006

    Meg2006 New Member

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    Patty, I agree. It should not be used for chores, but for behavior. "We try to act THIS way. Here is what the Bible has to say about it. What do you think of that? What does it mean to you?" Sort of thing. I'm afraid if my husband gave me a "chore chart" with bible scripture next to it I wouldn't be happy. lol.

    Minthia, I agree as well. Beating it over the child's head in anger isn't the way to go. Acting and explaining in love, God's love and the love of a parent to a child is a great way to train up a child. I was just appalled about what this person was trying to say.
     
  6. 2littleboys

    2littleboys Moderator

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    What about a chore chart that points out the positive? "Do unto others..." and all the proverbs that promise long life and health and such? I do think people twist the Bible too much, but I also think too many parents think brainwashing their children is better than leading by example. I can tell my kids to obey and make them memorize scripture after scripture, but if I'm not LEADING them in the right path, it doesn't do any good to hand them a map and kick them out the door prematurely.
     
  7. Actressdancer

    Actressdancer New Member

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    I'm with you, Meg. I think having a Biblical basis for every aspect of life is very right.

    If God cared enough about his people to dictate even what foods they should and shouldn't eat, using scripture to point out other things that are commanded by the Lord (in action or in character) falls in line with His personality.

    Separating God from the "mundane" is how we've come to humanize our pop-Christian culture.
     
  8. Meg2006

    Meg2006 New Member

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    IMO, we are separated from religion! I mean, I asked my husband a couple of months ago what he felt about God and the reaction was almost like, "WHOA WHOA! We've only been married for 6 years and we're going to have the 'God' talk?!" He didn't say that, but the mood was very awkward. It almost seems like talking about God, talking about your religion and your beliefs in taboo! Everyone feels a little unease about teh subject (around here anyway, even the church going folks). I mean, I read this blog called 'Large Family Mothering" and contraception is seen as abortion. Birth control is a part of our ordinary life and considered a necessity! Her recent blog talks about Margaret Sager, creator of "the pill" and founder of Planned Parenthood. It was striking and revealing. I agree about contraception, but my husband is afraid of financial strain. I know that God will provide, and help us and we will be blessed...more than we already are! I've talked to a friend recently and brought this up. She is very religious, always has been in school and so on, and she was even like, "Whoa, hold the phone. There is only so far I'll go before things get sketchy and I worry if He really WILL help us or is even listening." It's just...weird, as a society it's like this? You know? I hate to go on a tangent, but I feel like I can really express my thought here. I want my children to have a sense of awe and love when it comes to God and Jesus that I had when I was a kid.
     
  9. Emma's#1fan

    Emma's#1fan Active Member

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    There IS a difference between religion and faith. It is very common for a religious person to talk the talk but not walk the talk. A person of faith, a person who has a relationship with Christ, believes that their relationship is for the glory of God. This means their life is lived according to the Word of God. Raising children would fall in this catagory.
    In all areas of our lives, it is important to remember the Jesus acted in love and obedience to the Father. Jesus spoke the truth but he spoke in love. Never did Jesus beat anybody over the head with the Word. Still, there is no doubt that it consumed all areas of his life.
     
  10. Birbitt

    Birbitt New Member

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  11. Actressdancer

    Actressdancer New Member

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    I don't understand why justifying your requests to your child (so they know you aren't just making stuff up to suite your own purpose) is somehow beating them over the head with the Word.
     
  12. Shepherd

    Shepherd New Member

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    This is how I feel. My children are much more likely to take a behavior chart seriously if I show why those behaviors are important to God, instead of mom being bossy.
     

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