School Bus Incident/Father Defends Daughter

Article and Video/Today Show

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39497339/ns/today-parenting

My heart goes out to this family. At the moment, the girl is being homeschooled.

 

That poor girl. I hope they will keep her out of school until (if) the situation is rectified. I am a bit confused by the statement "the school distric has set her up homeschooling". Does that mean they are under a PS umbrella?

 

That poor girl. Sure you can't put your kids in a bubble, but you shouldn't have to sit by and watch your children suffer unnecessarily either. There was obviously no supervision on that bus. The bus driver can't drive the bus AND watch the kids. They need to have chaperones to do that. Our public school is set up this way.

I hope the charges on the father are dropped. He didn't touch any of the kids. Just basically yelled at them.

Angela

 

I cried watching this. My DS was bullied (that is why we pulled him out). He is talking about going back to PS but the thought just breaks my heart.
I hope the charges against this father are dropped.

 

I don't think he was wrong for confronting the boys, but I think the way he did it was completely out of line. The bleeps tell me he was using language he shouldn't have been using, and it also tells me the threats were more serious than just threatening to report them. He didn't tell the school there was a problem.

I would definitely take up for my kids, yes. I would even yell. I wouldn't do it in the same way he did, though. I think the charges should stand, but the sentence should be the lowest available. Bullying doesn't cure bullying. We're supposed to love our enemies, even when defending our family.

 

Yes, he was out of line. Absolutely. But do you HONESTLY believe reporting it to the principal would make a bit of difference? NOPE!!! They would "talk" to those kids (if they could figure out which ones) or "talk" with the bus driver who would say, "Yeah, I'll take care of it, but I'm busy driving the bus, and can't control what's going on behind my back when my eyes are on the road!" Nothing would change.

 

Exactly, Jackie. Confronting the principal would do nothing except make it worse for the poor girl. Bullies these days don't respect any kind of authority unless they think there is something in it for them.

I was "bullied" at school for awhile in middle school and my freshman year of high school for riding the handicapped bus with my brother and the other special children in the school. My peers would ask me why I rode the "veggie van" with the other "retarded vegitables". I got tired of it one day when a boy followed my brother and I down the hall yelling, "Veggie van, veggie van..." so I turned around and popped him in his nose. I never got bullied again. My parents weren't upset. My mom always said that if there was a bullying problem that I should always try to take care of it myself, b/c calling in a teacher or some sort of authority never helped. I did get into trouble for that, which happened to be the only trouble I got in my school days, but the boy never did. Teachers knew he had been harassing us, and other handicapped children on the bus (by witnessing it themselves) and he had a class detention (30 minutes after school). Sometimes you have to take matters into your hands. Maybe the kids wouldn't have listened to a principal, but an Irate father? HECK YES! I hope charges are dropped on him.

 

I'm not sure charges should be dropped completely, but a smack on the hand will suffice. So what's being done to the kids doing the bullying? Notice nothing's being said about THAT!

Meg, my little brother was picked on a good bit in junior high. And one day Big Sister stepped in.... I slammed a girl against a locker, told her it was to STOP NOW (!!!), and then went on. And, like you, that was the end of it.

 

Do I think the father handled this well? No, but if someone was harming my child, I'm not sure the Jesus in me would shine very bright that day, if you know what I mean.

Jackie and Meg,

That was my situation as well. I was bullied HORRIBLY for many years. Until one day, I sort of snapped. I slammed one of the girls into a locker, then down onto the grown. Then I punched her face once and walked away. When I returned to school four days later from my suspension, I was bully-free.

So you can say that bullying the bully never works, but in my experience, that was the only thing that did.

 

If that were my child you would have heard nothing but bleeps coming from me! I don't blame him at all for going off like that. I probably would have done much worse. I was never bullied but probably because anytime anyone said any crap to me I'd hand it right back to them but if my child was bullied that way you best believe I'd loose my mind on someone!

 

That saddest part of this whole thing were the statistics: 25% of kids report being bullied on a daily or weekly basis, and 85% of kids with disabilities. That is horrible! And yes the schools really don't or can't do anything to help.

My friend's son got his $300 glasses taken and broken by a bully and all the school did was have a meeting. My friend did not even get a penny from the other family because the school said the family did not have the money. Yeah, the school REALLY helped there.

 

It would be really hard for me to not act as the father did even though I would like to say that I wouldn't have done so and I wouldn't be happy if my children happened to be on that bus. It's hard knowing many kids get away with whatever and no they don't always outgrow it. I have been known in the past to confront parents but only in a couple more extreme cases.

 

Just reading it made me want to strangle those kids and she isn't even my daughter. I understand that dad. I can see he was out of line...but I can understand how his fury go the best of him. If it were my kid, I think I would be yelling not only at the kids but the principle. I am not saying the man was right...just that I understand how he lost control.

Now does that mean he is not guilty of the charges? Well...he is a grown man who got on a school bus and screamed at a bunch of kids using bad language. While, I get his anger...this type of behavior cannot be condoned either. I don't think he should serve jail time. However, I hate to think that any parent can board a school bus and go off. We agree he has reason but there are plenty of parents who would do worse for less...ya know? So we cannot allow this behavior.

Okay...I am in the middle of something and have no idea if I am making my point..LOL.

 

I'm in favor of armed police officers on every school bus! Other than that, surveillance cameras on every bus, so their parents can see exactly what kind of behavior their "little angel children" are getting into on the bus, and so can school authorities. Bus suspensions should be imposed on anybody who misbehaves.

Did the dad do wrong? Yeah, but I hope he gets off with a suspended sentence, maybe a couple months probation.

Part of why we homeschooled was because DS came home too many times asking, "Mama, what's 'retarded'? Am I retarded?" because bigger kids on the bus were calling him names. Ok, he was a kinda goofy looking kid, and hyperactive to boot, so he was an easy target, but he was in no way mentally impaired (except for the hyperactivity), and didn't deserve to be picked on. I complained to the bus driver, the principal, and the teacher, to no avail whatever.

 

When I was in high school, my dad got in the face of one of the parents whose daughter kept trying to start a fight with my sister. The principle threatened to call the police and my dad told him to go ahead because he was tired of the school not taking care of the problem so maybe the police could take care of it for them and if not, he was going to take care of it himself.

I think the father in this case was wrong in some repect but on the other hand, he had to make a stand. Granted he could have done things a bit different. Our schools no longer protect our children. Who is going to if parents don't? It seems that these days, evil prevails. Thankfully it doesn't in the Lord's kingdom!:angel:

 

This video totally amazes me. I hs my kids and I am a school bus driver for our ps. As a mom I think I would have respected my child more than this. First if my child had a handicap like his dd she would NOT be on a big bus. They are horrible. Even when my kids went to ps I requested they sit in the front seat together!

Secondly, as far as the driver. WOW! He just sat there. I would have closed my doors and not let the person on the bus. When that driver approached he should have been able to tell by the persons body language there was going to be a problem. He should have delt with it. I know in NYS it is illegal for anyone to enter the bus besides the students.

JMO - But, this father has made his daughters life harder instead of easier. My motto in life. Is it is fundementally wrong to make a specticle of a child. I try to remember that in every situation that is brought my way. I wish this man educated him self enough to know there were a million other ways to handle the situation and to vindicate and protect his daughter at the same time.

 

Great thoughts. While I understand the fury of the father he never should have been allowed on that bus. I know I would want to yell at those kids. However, the point that he may have caused more harm than good is valid. My brother had problems in school and when my mom said something things got much worse. The school was of little or no help.

I think the face that we understand how upset this father was clouds the fact that he was completely WRONG. I know if my kid was on the bus where that man yelled and cussed I would have been angry. Not all the kids were harassing her so they did not all deserve that kind of treatment. Some may say that ones responsible did not either...but I think something needed to be said..just not like that.

 

I do agree that something needed to be done. If the driver didn't know anything about it he couldn't help. The seats are high and if no one tell sometimes him the driver doesn't always know what is going on. I will say as a driver if my bus gets out of control I just pull over and turn the bus off. Its amazing how quite the bus gets when you shut it off.

 

I'm at the point where I think there needs to be a second adult on ALL school buses who can deal with behavior if needed. Period.

 

When I was in school our district required ALL parents with elementary children on the bus to work on a rotation of parent monitors. Two parents per bus, every day. Each parent did the job for 1 week, then the next parent stepped in. I think my mom did bus duty maybe 4 weeks a year. Basically one parent monitor sat at the back of the bus, and one in the middle, it was up to the parents to keep the bus in control, if a child was acting up the parent moved the child, if it got too rowdy the bus driver would pull over and stop the bus until everyone was calm again.

When I was in high school there were no longer parent monitors, but if you did not behave on the bus all it took was ONE complaint and you would loose your bus privleges for a week, the second time it was two months, and the third time it was permanent. Our district had the most behaved bus kids in the county!