My dd & ds have always been immature for their age. They're bright kids, but have never been in a hurry to grow up. We held my dd back in the 1st grade when we brought her home to hs. We'd hoped she'd catch up by the 8th grade, but I'm not sure she has. She is what I call a lazy perfectionist. She wants to do everything right the first time. But, instead of doing what it takes to excel when things are hard, she gives up. She says she wants to be a vet, but with her distain for book learning, I just can't see it happening. We've tried to subtly suggest alternatives that don't require as much education, but don't want to discourage her. Her workload is light compared to many kids her age, but she is constantly overwhelmed. I remind her that her load is lighter and encourage her to take it one step at a time. Her perception of how hard task will be are often wrong, but she's spent so much time dreading them, that it ruins her school day. Then, next day, she thinks something will be easy and it's not. We have very few school days where she doesn't end up in tears. I'd consider ps, but then not only would we need to deal with her attitude, but also the teacher's attitude and the other headaches associated with the government's involvement. Other than school work, she's a great child. We very seldom have any trouble with her. Btw, we are using SOS this year. She likes doing her school work on the computer, but is having a touch time with the quizzes and test.
Wow, sounds like my son last year in 8th grade...with SOS no less. We are not using it any more. It is extremely frustrating to kids with this personality type to have to guess the wording that SOS wants for answers. The way the questions are worded has also been a problem. Ds14 will sit at the screen and say, "Mom, I KNOW the answer. It just won't take it!"...and he's right, because of the way it is worded. But I digress. I would not have her repeat the material, unless it is math, but I'd look at other math programs that might suit her better if she is struggling with SOS (I don't know any SOS user who has had success with it). If she is bright yet struggling with school in general, it isn't necessarily an academic problem. She might need a different approach to learning, or just a better attitude. Or she might be struggling with some hormones? Repeating a grade would only make her feel like she is not capable, which doesn't sound like the case. Hope this helps.
I'd love to think it is hormones, but she has been like this since she went to a private school for 4k. As soon as I think it's getting better, she gets worse again. Usually, when SOS won't accept a correct answer it's because she has the wrong form of the word for the sentence. She wants the questions to be like a second grade reading comprehension question where it is worded in the question exactly like the text. We've had this problem with every curriculum we have tried. We tried CLE in 4th grade. She looked at the lesson and cried (everyday), saying it was too much. If it were up to her, she'd have multiple choice or true/false for all of her work.
Ahhhh...I see. I hope some others have suggestions for you. It's a great place for finding parents who have been down the same road before.
Thanks so much for you help. I've been searching any threads that I think might help. It's getting better, but I've always told myself that as long as she got it by 8th grade, it would be okay. Now she's in 8th and I'm doubting myself. I've gotten tougher in the last year or two, but I need to get even stricter when it comes to school work. We're getting a second computer. Hopefully, the kids not sharing will help.
My suggestion (and I am just beginning to homeschool-but have been teaching my dd along with what the ps has taught her since the day she was born) is that you continue to get stricter, and make sure she knows there are consequences to poor academic effort! Giving up is not an option. I have always found the combination of intense praise and stiff discipline works best with my "perfectionist" child who likes to give up when the answer is simple and quick. I ordered the SOS L.A. and Science programs and hope that the program will help her to see that it takes deeper thought (not lazy thinking) to excel in middle/high school grades. Hope it works! She seems to like it so far, but she is just getting started with the programs.
I don't think I would repeat 8th grade. IMO her issues will smooth out with maturity. My dd14 gets overwhelmed alot (she's doing 9th grade this year). But I never allow her to give up. She has to keep plugging along. I also agree with ReResMom when she said that it helps the kids realize that it takes deeper thought to excel and really, thats what we want to teach the kids. When they get into a job, there's going to be many things that require more thought, higher level thinking. My dd also uses SOS for english and she used to get all stressed over missing alot of problems. Now if she misses a question, she puts another answer or explains her reasoning in the "send message to teacher" option. I'll go in and read all her notes to me and adjust the points manually. Usually she misses because of wording or she didn't quite understand the question, in which case I'll award partial credit. Doing it this way has helped her not to stress too much. (P.S. I hope I am being clear. I have a headache, but wanted to respond to you before I went to bed.)
I wouldn't repeat the grade either. We just stopped using SOS, when we first started my kids loved it, but as time went on they just got bored with it and were frusterated by it. I started switching out with Math then I realized how much better and happier they were so I started switching everything out a little bit at a time. I made sure the books I used were colorful and not boring. Believe it or not that even helps me. We went to BJU for a lot of it. I know with my dd I have to sit with her a lot of the time and teach her how to break it down. It is much easier to do in a work book setting she hated going back through the material in SOS to find the answer and word it right. Especially if she was getting things wrong in her mind she failed and she would give up. It is hard because you hear the computer telling you are wrong and then she felt hopeless. I would explain to her all the time that she was right and I would go back in and change the grading but it was still discouraging.
Yes, Cherry, my ds14 gets discouraged for the same reason your children are. Every time he answers a question, the computer gives an instant grade. It would be the equivalent of hearing a buzzer on a game show each time you get it wrong. It's really a simple conditioned response, yet it takes a long time to build their confidence back up. Not that everyone has this trouble with SOS, but for us it was not a good match.
Thanks so much. It's amazing how much it helps just knowing that you're not the only one who has gone through similar things. It's easy to think, "I am messing this up and my kid(s) won't have what the skills they need when they are grown." I know that part of the problem has been me. When I was in school, I felt that so much of what we did was a waste of time. Way too much busy work. As a result. I have been a little to slack in having my kids take that extra effort. I had a talk with my dh last night and the kids. They must read (& listen if they choose) to the lesson before they begin answering the questions. Starting next week (when we get a second laptop), they will be required to start taking notes during the lesson. DH will require them to show him their notes when he gets home from work. Up to this point we have been doing SOS with one computer. If my ds goofs off and takes a long time, then dd gets started late. Sometimes they switch back and forth. I've let them do fun stuff while they wait for the computer, since time is eaten up by waiting. Next week they will be able to work on school at the same time. They will be expected to finish their school work before they can do anything like video games. Hopefully this will help them concentrate and give me better leverage for scheduling punishments.
If you still want to use SOS, is there any way to print out the tests and take them manually, then grade them manually, do avoid this situation?
The quizzes & test do not show immediate feedback. Also, if I remember right, you can turn the immediate feedback off for the lessons. I read on another message board that you can print the lessons/test to add variety, but you need to enter answers in computer for them to be included in grading.
This might not be the case but I wanted to throw it out there. She sounds alot like my dd (13 almost 14) who is bright but ADHD. Once we recognized this and made some changes our schooling has been going alot better. Not perfect, but better. Best wishes!
Are you using SOS for every subject, and how long does she spend a day on her work ? I am VERY relaxed with my kids, I don't even make them take tests. Except for spelling, my dd asks to take spelling tests :shock: She is a very good speller and it gives her a boost of confidence I think. She struggles too, mainly with memorization stuff. I give her "crutches" to use like multiplication facts cheat sheet, and for Easy Grammar I let her use the preposition cheat sheet. It gives her less stress, and she is able to work on the actual problems. After a while she uses the cheat sheets less and less. I even caught her one day crossing out the prepostional phrases in the church bulletin :lol: I use different publishers for each subject, so there is some variety. We spend no more than 2 hours on work and rarely have any fights. I am also flexible with them. For instance, she is REALLY into horses, and today she took it upon herself to write a 3 page report on horses. I didn't tell her "you have to stop now because we have math and english to work on" instead I just left her alone and let her continue. That is what she did for schoolwork today. I think that is great she wants to be a vet. Especially if she wants to be a large animal vet (from what I understand they are always in demand). I would encourage that as much as possible. It could give her the incentive to keep plugging away at her work. Is there any way to incorporate animals into her studies ? BTW what part of South Carolina are you from ?
I've done the same. Some of that comes from my military background. Some from the realities of life. If you want to use a calculator to balance your checkbook, it's okay. How many people out there use cookbooks for recipies. And, don't people still use a hymnal to sing Amazing Grace. What is so wrong with using a dictionary, spell check and a multiplication chart? Today, she had to use information from a previous lesson to answer a current lesson's question. I told her to write the list of words without fussing. Then, I helped her go back and look up what they ment and she wrote it down. She drew little pictures on her notes, and told me later that it made taking notes a little more fun. If it works, then I'm okay with it.
I am from the Myrtle Beach area. Too bad we aren't closer, I am always looking for new homeschool families to hang out with.
This must be something they changed in the 2010 edition. You can turn off the immediate response if you want. We've left it on, because my dd would rather know right away, than to find out after the lesson that she missed several.
It sounds like you are adapting quite well. We have found that actually asking the kids works pretty well. Also, sitting down with them at a time that we are not arguing and talking about what it is they need to know how to do. We are working on taking notes...I had a bit of trouble with that because I don't remember how I learned and I have always read super fast and been able to pick out the important stuff. My dh told me he didn't even know how to take notes in outline form until after he got to college and saw his roomates notes. So, I am teaching how to take notes...when we read the geology text (online) I take notes in Word...ds13 copies them in a notebook; ds10 can use my notes...I allow them to use the notes for the midweek quiz and then study for the friday test with them...It is working pretty well, but it is labor intensive for me. We are also stopping during history to talk about what are the important words in that paragraph...was there anything you think you might need to know? to help them pick those things out and put them in their own words.
