Single and .... well ... UGH!

Discussion in 'Christian Issues' started by Dragonflygirl, Jan 14, 2011.

  1. Dragonflygirl

    Dragonflygirl New Member

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    I am a single mom of one. My daughter is ten years old. I live with my parents and go to school full time and homeschool my daughter. I have awesome parents to let me do this. I am going to continue in school till my daughter graduates (it is the only way to stay at home and have what I need and I will have a doctorate by then so that will be cool too). Anyway, my dream is to get married and have more kids. It is crazy because this was soooooo not my dream when I was younger. Really, I only thought about myself. I am only 33 so it could still happen. I mean, I supposed to could get married and I could have more children. I mean, it could happen BUT wouldn't be able to stay home with then. When DD and myself graduate I will have to get a job asap and start paying off my loans. I read alot of posts of people who have three, four, five children and a hubby and get soooo envious. And the homeschool groups I am members of I don't really fit into...they are all married and just live totally different lives than I do. Don't get me wrong. I know that God has a plan for my life. I know He will use me for great thing!!! I am going to Liberty to get my LPC now and after I will be going to seminary. It is great to have such awesome opportunity. To bad we can't have our cake and eat it too huh? I mean, I don't even have a date...LOL. And then I think, do I really want to be married one day? I mean, that is kind of a scary thought after all I have been through. And then my daughter is already ten. She would be about grown before I ever even had a chance for more children. Well, I suppose it is time for bed. I just needed to vent and could use a little encouragement. I know I am blessed so I don't want anyone out there worrying about me. But even us blessed Christians get a little upset somtimes....LOL. You know thats the TRUTH! Be blessed everyone!!!!

    ~Dawn~
     
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  3. ForTheSon

    ForTheSon New Member

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    Hi Dawn, don't get discouraged. The important thing is your schooling right now. Once that is done you will be able to take care of and provide for yourself and DD. It is amazing what can happen in your life. I found myself divorced with 3 kiddos at age 39. So wounded and miserable that I never wanted another man in my life. God had different plans. While I was trying to straighten out my life by myself He put a wonderful male friend in my life to comfort me. This man was quiet, yet strong. He never made demands or stepped outside the bounderies I had set. He was just there!

    Once I finally realized that I was lonely, stressed and scared I opened up to this man. I let him know that I needed more than I thought I did, but that I was now 40 and felt that I would be alone the rest of my life. He smiled, hugged me, and while he gently hugged me told me how silly I was. He had loved me the whole time. He was waiting until I was ready. We now have DS who will be 13 this year. Yes, this man is still the same, he is my best friend. Only now he is my DH.

    Hang in there girl. You can never predict what your future will hold. It's when you stop trying to control it all that our Father steps in and shows his greatest gifts of love.
     
  4. Lindina

    Lindina Active Member

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    Sweetie, all I can tell you -- from experience -- is just turn it all over to the Lord. I was in much the same situation as you, when I told the Lord: "If I'm supposed to do this journey without a life partner, just tell me so I can get on with it. But if I'm supposed to have somebody, You're going to have to do the finding, because I've tried and I can't." And it wasn't long before He did. I'm not going to tell you He'll put you together with somebody, or do it right away, but it's so much easier to wait on Him than to just wait or try and fail on your own.
     
  5. northernmomma

    northernmomma New Member

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    I am sure it isn't an easy thing to be a single parent. But you are on the right track focusing on your education and your daughters. And bless you for homeschooling her while doing your own schooling. Hang in there. As my mother liked to say 'this too shall pass.' And it will. As you said God has a plan for you. :)
     
  6. MenifeeMom

    MenifeeMom New Member

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    You never know where the Lord will lead you next or who He will bring into your life. My husband's boss just got remarried. He was a single father who raised his daughter all alone. He didn't meet his new wife until his daughter was already an adult on her own. Another lady at church met her husband in a class she was taking at the local college to update some of her computer skills. I know it can be hard, but try to relax and enjoy your life knowing that the Lord has a plan for you.
     
  7. CarolLynn

    CarolLynn New Member

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    I think that is the best advice. There is a lady in our homeschool support group who just got married. She had been a single mom for 12 yrs, and homeschooled her daughter as well. She is an accountant, and brought her daughter to the office with her. I also have a friend who didn't meet her husband until she was in her 40's. Maybe God has a plan for you to marry, maybe not. But worrying about this will only make you miserable. I will tell you what I tell my two friends from church, both single in their late 30's, one with a child the other childless, you are so much better off being single than being unhappily married. Wait on the Lord, pray that God will either take away your desire for a husband and more children, or that he will bring them into your life. Praying for you this morning. May God bless and comfort you!
     
  8. leissa

    leissa New Member

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    I was a single mom with a 9 yr old son and had gotten to the point where I was learning to be content where the Lord put me. Out of nowhere, God brought my husband into my life. I had thought that it would always just be me and my son,along with my parents.(I lived with my parents too!) I can't tell you how many times I was counseled by wise people to wait on God's timing, because He alone is the author of our lives. What He has planned for us is immeasurably more perfect than what we could plan for ourselves. You may be a minority in your hs group, but you are by no means alone! Stay strong!
     
  9. JenPooh

    JenPooh New Member

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    Our pastor said this in church the other day:
    "If you aren't happy being single, don't think you'll be any happier being married"
    I have to agree with him, because being married is a whole other ballgame. It can have just as many stress factors as being single...just different ones. Sure, I love my husband and I believe we have a great marriage...don't get me wrong. However, it kind of goes back to the ole saying 'the grass is never greener on the other side'.
    God knows your heart, and He knows your needs. If there is someone out there that He made for you, He will point them in your direction.
    :)
     
  10. Dragonflygirl

    Dragonflygirl New Member

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    Thanks for all the encouragement guys. I means alot...as I type through my tears. Don't get me wrong...I am not all that upset. Just got a little teary eyed reading all the responses. I know that God has a plan for my life and I will wait on Him. His plans may not be when and what we want right this second but they are ALWAYS on time and ALWAYS what we need. Thanks so much! I will keep pushing through this place where I am. It is what I must do and I may not be on top of the world but God always gets me through. And I praise Him everyday to be able to stay home with my DD. Be blessed, Dawn
     
  11. cabsmom40

    cabsmom40 Active Member

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  12. Lindina

    Lindina Active Member

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  13. Dragonflygirl

    Dragonflygirl New Member

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    I hate when people moan and complain about their husband or wife. Don't they realize that this person they are complaining about is the person they were given by God to be with? Don't they realize that this person is the one that should be able to trust them the most. I mean, your husband or wife should be the last person you have to worry about talking about your and complaining about you. But, I am not married....but I was. And trust me...there were times I wanted to complain about him! LOL! But I didn't...prayer is much better than walking around complaining about someone. Anyway, that is just my opinion.

    But, I do look at many of the married couples around me and only a handful of them seem to really happy. I just think that people don't take marriage seriously anymore. That is one of the things that scares me about marriage. As much as I would love to get married one day...I just see how it turns out many times. I will just trust in God to do what is right for me...as He always does.

    Be blessed,
    Dawn
     
  14. JenPooh

    JenPooh New Member

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    I use to work in an environment where everyone complained and put down their husbands on a daily basis. One woman use to always say if she could do it over again, she'd never be married. REALLY??? My marriage is not perfect by any means, but I do not believe it's God honoring at all to speak that way about your spouse. I can't imagine talking that way about my husband. There is a big difference between venting about an 'annoyance' (like my husband's snoring...LOL) or asking for advice, versus a clear put-down or belittling someone. The girls I use to work with use to call their husband's stupid, no-good, and dumb on a regular basis. I hated it. They use to turn to me and say "your marriage must be so great, you never complain about your husband". I use to say..."It's not perfect, but it's because I respect my husband and our marriage".
     
  15. Dragonflygirl

    Dragonflygirl New Member

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    AMEN! If your husband can't count on you to have his back then who can he count on. I absolutely hate listening to people complain about their spouse. I know if I am ever married I will NEVER disrespect him like that.
     

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