Spanking Children - California

Discussion in 'Homeschooling in the News' started by Ohio Mom, Jan 22, 2007.

  1. Jackie

    Jackie Active Member

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    Our neighbor's daughter threatened to call children's services on her dad. And this was NOT an abusive father. The middle child got mouthy, and Dad smacked her. She was a young teen at the time, old enough to know better. The older high school girl jumped in and said he couldn't do that, and she'd call. Dad told her to go ahead and call, but to think VERY CAREFULLY about what the consequences could be, that it could even split them all up....She didn't call, but the older daughter REALLY THOUGHT at the time that calling would be the "right" thing to do because of the crap the counselors, etc. were telling them at school.
     
  2. timkelmom

    timkelmom New Member

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    The problem here is this. Kids are taught in government school that hitting of any kind is abuse and they are given the numbers and contact information for social services by their school teachers. They are encourage to call. They are taught how to call and what to say as young as 6.

    Also, the kids think if they call that someone will just come out and tell their parents not to do it anymore. They don't realize what can actually happen. Their parents will be arrested, they will often be embarrassed like the boy in the previous story.

    The main thing they don't realize is that they will not be going to a friends house, or the cooler parent's house. They can be sent to some pretty awful places.

    Kid's should know the difference between abuse and discipline, and should ask for help only when truly necessary.
     
  3. Jackie

    Jackie Active Member

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    Children also need to understand the difference between knowing when they actually did wrong and must take the consequences of their actions, that sometimes parents make mistakes and they might be punished when they were innocent, and parents that are abusive and out of control.
     
  4. becky

    becky New Member

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    I was accused and investigated three times for abusing Kevin, when he was in elementary school. The first two times were the principal's doing. With the third time there was a new principal that knew Kevin had learned how to play the game. By that third time, I'd have paid social services to strip seach Kevin's behind, just to teach him a lesson. When a child like that makes their bed they need to sleep in it, I say.
     
  5. JenniferErix

    JenniferErix New Member

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    You are a genius!

    Just try to remember that "Government" does not exist. It does not breathe or think about you. Government is not alive, it is not seeking to get you, it is not after your information and it does not care to know more about you, or to control you..... it does not exist. However...... It is simply a manifest of those who are active in it.

    Therefore, All government is an accumulation of thousands of "Special Interest Groups". You are simply seeing and hearing about these special interest groups work on the news because THEY are active. And powerful, because many of us get suckered into supporting them because they play on "Semantics" to get people on their side. ("Well, of course I am NOT for BEATING a child! Here, let me donate something to help this cause!")

    THEY WILL make this country what they want it to be, unless YOU decide otherwise....
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2007
  6. JenPooh

    JenPooh New Member

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    I have not had the time to read all the responses but I have been keeping up with the ridiculous proposal on other sites I belong to. I'm not sure if anyone mentioned it (sorry if I'm repeating a fact here), but did anyone know that the woman who proposed this law does NOT even have children of her own?!?! Figures.

    Tanner's first swat on the butt was at age 2, and you can rest asure he knew what it was for and he most definitely learned from it. In my honest and humble opinion, a child under the age of 4 most certainly does know a lot of right from wrong and spanking can be effective when used appropriately. Under age 2 (well...I'd say more like under 18 months) I could side with, but ALL children under 4?! No way. BUT, JMO. :) ;) I think this whole proposed ban is truly dumb. They should be concentrating on punishing the parents who beat their kids instead and making our current system harsher for people who truly deserve it!
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2007
  7. jenlynn4673

    jenlynn4673 New Member

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    oh, gee - that figures!
     
  8. JenPooh

    JenPooh New Member

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    She has two cats though.:roll: Maybe that's where she gets the ideas for her proposals. You know, children are the same as cats!:roll: Kidding!;)
     
  9. Ava Rose

    Ava Rose New Member

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    If only life were that easy! lol. I sometimes wish my kids were like my dog. lol. He never cries, whines, asks for anything, never bothers me if I am hormonal, he even keeps the mice away. Seriously....he is quite a mouser for a dog.
     
  10. Dichotomy

    Dichotomy New Member

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    Okay first off I'm not a fan of spanking. Never was when I was on the receiving end of it (which was quite a bit) and haven't been since Squid was born. Squid was pretty easy to raise and still is. I can count the number of times I've had to spank him on one hand in 13 years. Two of mine though have unfortunately pushed the envelope to the point of where they get a spanking. To get there they have to push me a LONG way past the three strike rule which is First time I'm going to sit down and talk to you about why I don't want you to do this and what the repurcussions of continuing this behavior can and will be, Second time you're reminded more sternly, Third time will be a punishment that you do not like (I can be REAL creative on this one EG: Take a trash bag out in the front yard and pick up every stick you find. This is a real time wast because I have 21 oak trees), fourth and so on you get grounded, tv taken away, and so on. So you have to push me a LOOOONG way for me to get physical with you. That said when one of mine needs a swat or five then thats what they have to get and it's not up to anybody to tell me differently.
     
  11. Jackie

    Jackie Active Member

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    Exactly the point, Dichotomy! It's quite alright to use all those other things you mentioned, but when you, as their dad, feels a spanking is needed, shouldn't be anyone to tell you differently!
     
  12. Dichotomy

    Dichotomy New Member

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    Thank you .. one thing I forgot to mention is that She Devil and I always consult prior to that point to ensure that we've tried everything we can think of to make our point regardless of where we are. If I'm at work and she feels it's needed they know that I know what's up at home and that not only are they getting spanked they are going to have to endure the lecture when I get home :lol: most times I think they'd rather push my buttons than hers because they only have to deal with it once ;)
     
  13. Ava Rose

    Ava Rose New Member

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    Dichotomy...nothing better than creative punishment! It works so well. On an older child I will have to say it is as effective as a spanking. I know I was never a big fan of spanking myself... I just see that it can be necessary for some kids. I will say I have spanked all my kids at some point. In fact, last week I spanked my son. That was the first time in a year! So, when dad got home...yep...he got a lecture. Now, that was the first time I spanked him. My dh just spanked the kid twice the week before. Oh and spanking never comes without a lecture....poor kids. My dh even sometimes implements creative punishments and lectures. LOL. Thankfully, all three never come together. lol. My ds goes through these little times where he gets really disobedient and just doesn't listen...more like he is on channel 13 while we all are on channel 12, kwim? He never has an attitude and would die before talking back. However, every now and then he needs a reminder. Then we can go about a year before spanking him again. lol. My dd never gets spanked anymore. My little dd....well.....her time is just arriving....I can see it in her personality already.....HELP! lol.
     
  14. Frugalcountrymom

    Frugalcountrymom New Member

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    To spank or not

    I agree

    This is an interesting topic I liked reading all the replys.
    I am a firm believer in spanking especially when they are younger. I believe in time out first but if that dont work then the threat of a spanking comes next which needs to be followed out especially in public which is more likely where they will act up at.

    I have dropped everything, gotten out of line to take my kids to the bathroom to disapline them. This took maybe two times to know that I mean business and I have never had a problem after that. "Do we need to go to the bathroom to take care of this problem?" amazing how after maybe one or two times that works.

    I am also a firm believer that every family has the right to disapline how they see fit. However if your kids out of control still with your method you got to admit its not working eh.

    Ever see the show the Nanny I think its called? She dosent spank and she is very strict. I like her methods so yes I can see it being done without spanking.

    Sam
     
  15. JenPooh

    JenPooh New Member

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    I totally agree! I think you're talking about Supernanny. She's a hoot!
     
  16. KrisRV

    KrisRV New Member

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    love supernanny here. She is hoot. We need more supernanny is America maybe things would be alot different. I don't know maybe not.
     
  17. sloan127

    sloan127 Active Member

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    Yeah Kris, Only we need more superMoms and Dads, or just a little more courage to do what we know is the right thing. I used to give in just to not cause a scene. Not anymore. My kids know I will not put up with a disrespectful attitude and I don't care who is watching or where we are. I won't let them get away with bad behavior. I love my kids and want them to be great adults not spoiled, it's all about me, people! You all help me stick to my guns when I read your posts here. I know I am not alone. Beth
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2007
  18. MonkeyMamma

    MonkeyMamma New Member

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    I got the naughty step idea from supper nanny and it works wonders on dd4. Not practical for dd10 but she hardly ever does anything that warrants punishment anyway.
     
  19. Frugalcountrymom

    Frugalcountrymom New Member

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    So what is the naughty step?
     
  20. MonkeyMamma

    MonkeyMamma New Member

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    Well suppet nanny used either a step stool or just a mat on the floor. When the child acts out (throwing fits things of that nature) she gave them one warning and then if they do it again they go on the naughty step for one minute per year of age. My dd is 4 so she has to sit on the step for 4 mins. The key is to get down on their level, look them in the eye and make them look you in the eye, tell them exactly what they did wrong and what you expect. When their time is up the must appologize for what they did.

    We have a step stool for ours in the front room of the house. It works soooooo well for dd4. We usually don't even have to put her on it because now the warning works. It took some time of being consistant before it became really effective. She doesn't recomend it for older kids though. What amazes me is that the parents on the show never think it will work for their kid but it always does.
     

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