This question is for Tina and others with cool ideas, lol...

Missy,
Hang in there :? . Do you think he may not understand the signals that his bladder is full or the other? If he is willing to go when you direct him, he may not "get the oh I need to go full/signal feeling." You might try some super tea parties. Drink buckets of fluids and then relate your own signals while he watches for his. Some kids just don't associate the signals with going.
Many of us lived through our own potty training night-mares, and I'm happy to say forget most of it; kind of like labor. It doesn't seem so bad in hindsight :roll: . You might try some huge reward like when you are using the restroom and not your pants, you will visit the magic kingdom. Or you might just hold tight and wait for the day. I hope it arrives soon. :shock:
Tammy

 

Tammy...

I think you are on the money...I think he must just not get the "uh-oh feeling". I have tried to explain to him that after drinking he'll have the pressure or heavy feeling down in his abdomen and he'll have to go! I like the idea of the tea party. I may need to try to devote some good quality time to him and see if I can help him understand that part better. Avery gets her pins out of her leg tomorrow so that will hopefully be behind us and we can move on to better things!

 

Missy ...

I'd say you have been WAY more than patient. I applaud you

Something else that comes to mind is that if you switch between underwear and pull-ups or diapers, it might be confusing him.

Pull-ups and diapers are so absorbent these days, that he won't feel 'wet' and cold and miserable like he does when he pees in underwear. It's excruciating, I know ... to clean up all that mess. However, if he is at all confused about internal signals, I think being clear on the EXternal signals is quite important.

You hang in there, Missy. You're right ... one day it WILL happen. :roll:

Kathe

 

I'm coming in at the tail end of the thread here, but here's my two cents:

NO ONE was worse to train than my older son. Sticker charts, cute underwear... nothing worked. He'd even say, "I'm going to go play in my bedroom now," close the door and poop his pants. I figured if he had those kind of coping skills he could jolly well sit on the pot.

A wise woman told me, "Put him in regular underwear, tell him what you expect and give him this consequence: if he wets, he has to change himself." You know why it was so wise to me? Because we'd moved from a potty-training issue to a discipline issue. So I sat my son down, told him the deal and said, "Here you go." Later that day he wet himself and was very uncomfortable (I'd purposely put him in sweatpants and socks, so everything was soaked). I told him, "Go change." It took him 45 minutes to get his pants off, crying the whole time. I was hard-hearted. He was almost four, he'd been using the potty FINE for his baby sitter, my husband, pre-school -- it was just me.

After that it was a total of one week before he was dry all the time with no slip-ups. He also learned to change his own clothes. :wink:

My second son was the same. What did it for him was being forced to have a shower after every wet. He HATED being washed, so it became a very thorough shower in order for him to get to the point where he'd just go to the toilet and eliminate the distraction and irritation of being bathed. He was almost four too.

The other thing the wise woman told me to do was to stop being patient with them. She said, "Let them know they've disappointed you. You can help them and take care of them, but you don't have to like the behavior." I agree. In our case (both times) it was not about not being able to "hold it" or anything -- both just thought it was easier for me to do everything. WRONG. :roll:

 

I "brain-washed" my 3 yo son into wearing big boy undies. A few months before his 3rd birthday I started telling him everyday several times a day that his birthday was coming soon and when he turned three he wouldnt need diapers or pull-ups anymore because he would be a big boy. I pointed out other 3yo boys and girls we knew and bragged at how they didnt need diapers either. (It sounds like you have tried most of this, but I agree that if you take a less obvious appraoch it just might work!) Anyway, on the morning of my sons 3rd birthday when he woke up I went to change his diaper and he said "no diapers mommy, I am a big boy today!" That was that! A few little accidents, but not many! My daughter, on the other hand, was not that easy! She had to wait until SHE was ready and it was HER idea!!!! However, I had told her that her brother did it when he turned 3 and therefore, it became her idea about 2 weeks BEFORE her 3rd borthday!!!!! GO FIGURE! :wink:

 

I tried this...

My sister did that with my nephew and it worked too. I told PReston that when he turned three that he would wear the undies and that they didn't really make diapers that big for three yos. It didn't work. He was not ready. I have and still do make make son change his own pull-ups and clothes. Now, I am not doing the underwear on a regular basis so the changing of the clothes is not hard. He does remove his shorts and then change his pull-ups.

What did you do about the poop accidents? I , at first, was making Preston clean himself up after that. But, that was ridiculous. He would have made a horrible mess for me to clean carpets, clothes and such. I finally gave in and helped him. I considered the shower idea but PReston loves bathing and showers so it would be a positive instead of a negative thing for him. :cry: I even pretended to discuss this with his dr and told him what she said. I told him she said he was to change his diapers from now on since he was old enough to use the potty. He was a little upset but he got over it pretty quick. What a booger~

 

Sounds like you have a very determined young man on your hands! LOL! I know it is a very frustrating thing, but I agree with the comment that someone said about not seeing any 5yo with diapers. Keep doing what you are doing....he will get it!!!

As far as the poop accidents, I did not make him clean it himself. You are right, that would be more work for YOU than for him! How much of an interest is Dad taking in this? Does Preston enjoy doing daddy-son stuff? Maybe going to the potty could be one of those "guy" things. Maybe if daddy talked with him about it and explained that big guys use the potty and diapers are not allowed on hunting/fishing trips...or whatever.....maybe that would work?!?!?!!? The bottom line is he will have to decide on his own that enough is enough and it is time to be big. It is just a question of what you can use to help him come to this conclusion!!! LOL!

Probably the best advice is to PRAY!!!!!!!