When your parents get Old.....

Discussion in 'Other Conversation' started by CrazyMom, Sep 10, 2014.

  1. CrazyMom

    CrazyMom Banned

    Sep 30, 2013
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    Psychologists say middle age is the most stressful time of life. You have big bills, your body is starting to lose it's super hero status (lol..I don't think mine ever had it), your kids need your energy, your money and your support.....

    ....and your aging parents do, too.

    That's the weirdest part of middle age....being a caretaker for both your kids and your parents. It's stressful. Trying to give your folks the help they need without stepping on their toes or insulting their independence can be a tough spot. And also kinda seeing the writing on the wall about preparing for your own retirement...it's a little scary.

    My mom is 74. She's had three different cancers in the last five years, but is doing great. Walks a couple miles every day, drives everywhere, lives alone. (my Dad died about ten years ago). Worries me that money is tight for her a lot. I want to do repairs to her home, help with stuff...and it's hard to get her to accept help.

    I keep trying to talk her into living with us, but she says it would be a hassle to explain all the hot guys coming and going all the time. (seriously, she's a minister...and she SAYS this....LOL!) She's sort of one of a kind....one of those "well behaved women seldom make history" types. She concedes that at some point, she will give in and come live with us, but that she really likes her independence. She has a room at my house and does come to stay with us for holidays (even though she's only about eight miles down the road) and when there's bad weather, and when she's sick. Apparently, she also likes to come stay when Elle visits:)

    Hubby's parents have both passed.

    Anyone else dealing with feeling stressed about having that dual roll of providing support to both your kids AND your parents/inlaws?
  3. eyeofthestorm

    eyeofthestorm Active Member

    Feb 12, 2008
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    Honestly, not really.

    My brother did/does, tho. So I kind of hear what you're saying. When my mother passed away, he was so worried about what "we should do about our dad." I was like, what? He's a grown up, leave him alone.

    For us, it's worked out. My dad is about the same age as your mom, he's remarried, he has a very full life and most certainly does NOT need any of his children to take him in. On the other hand, my MIL is much younger, but I can see where she (and we) might benefit from her being a permanent part of our household.

    Every situation, and every parent, is different, I guess.

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