your Christmas eve menu? My parents will be here for Christmas, so I was making a gumbo Christmas eve.. its kinda a tradition for Christmas with my family. Well, I just found out my sis in law, father in law, and niece and hubby will be here too. My sister in law asked my husband if I was going to change my menu since her husband does not like gumbo and the rest are coming. I am a little annoyed right now, I already have all the stuff for a gumbo. My parents are why I'm making it. I kinda feel like if they don't like it then they could bring something else to eat. My husband found out yesterday and is now just telling me about it. Gumbo is cheap to make for a large group... I could make a soup too, but then I am going to be spending my time in the kitchen for two days,and that is something I don't want to do! What to do , What to do! :roll:
I wouldn't change the entire menu, no. If it were me, I would likely add some simple sandwiches or another soup. Both to stretch it out and to add some variety for some who may not like gumbo (in my experience, it's usually more than one person in the group...). I know you said you don't want to spend more time in the kitchen. So, maybe ask your sis-in-law if she would mind bringing a second pot of soup that her husband would enjoy and to help stretch the food a bit. I don't think that would be rude. Who invited the additional people? Honestly, I'd be tempted to ask that person to help out with the food a bit, since it wasn't in your initial plans or idea.
` My sister in law invited herself and her kids. LOL I could do some kind of chouder in the crockpot easy and all i need to do is veggies.
LOL I was afraid of that! I think an easy crock pot chowder or stew is a great idea! I'm a cook-er and a food overachiever, lol, so I admire your determination to stick to the original plan. But, I'm always all over the place. In fact, my "one or two things" for our Christmas feast on Sunday has morphed into like 6 things. :lol: I'm terrible at narrowing it down. But, I also get having a plan and having all the ingredients, then being thrown a wrench! ugh!
This reminds me of one of those Food Network competition shows where the contestants have everything going smoothly and suddenly the judges say, "And now you must also incorporate pickle pigs feet into your dessert....and....GO!" :lol: I think asking her to bring another soup or sandwich makings is fine. Just call her yourself and let her know her brother (assuming she is your Dh's sister) just told you they were coming. Let her know you will love having them join you, but your Dh said you had some concerns about the menu. Let her know YOU would not be offended at all if she would like to bring something to share that her family will enjoy.
Can you try to view it from the perspective of your SIL's husband? Is he allergic to certain foods, for example? My wife is extremely allergic to seafood, even to the point where she reacts badly when eating food cooked in pans that previously cooked seafood (as we once found out in quite a fancy restaurant). Even if he's not allergic, it kind of puts a damper on things if you dislike something and it's an important part of the get-together. If it doesn't create too much extra work, can you find out what the guy really likes? Maybe it's a good opportunity to get to know him better, to demonstrate that you want him as family to be there. Tradition is fine, but relationships are more important - and adding a second main food dish wouldn't upset anyone else, right? (except that it creates more work for you) Again, if you were in his shoes, what would surprise you and make you enjoy being there?
I have a hard time with this one. Unfortunately, my gifting is hospitality and it would be my desire to make sure each guest felt welcomed, loved and "warmed", regardless of whether I invited them or they invited themselves. I've learned to take those opportunities as ones that God has ordained for me to learn more about His grace and his compassion. It's not always a fun or easy lesson, however. On my side, we spend Christmas Eve with my Dad & Stepmom. The menu has been the same for....um....100 years? LOL Clam chowder, Chili, peel & eat shrimp, veggie tray, and lunchmeat w/ rolls. I am developing a crustacean allergy (actually, have an aversion to even the smell which my doctor informed me was my body telling me to avoid it! Thought that was quite clever, and the last time I had something that unknowingly had crustacean in it, I got violently ill).....anyway, because it's all prepared in the same kitchen, all touched and handled, my doctor has told me to be EXTREMELY careful there. So, I am. And I bring a big salad and salad dressing, and do what I can to keep it in a different part of the kitchen. My stepmom, thankfully, is a germaphobe, so she won't allow anyone to touch the lunchmeat with their fingers, so usually that's fairly safe for me to consume, and the veggies are on a different table...again, making them reasonably safe. I usually try to hit the veggie tray first, then avoid after the rest of the folks are working on their peel and eat shrimp and going to the veggie tray! Anyway....back to the point of the story. I would offer another soup, bread, salad, etc. That would possibly be more to the liking. I would probably even call back the SIL and ask what are some of the favorite or tolerable foods for the husband....but I'm a pleaser! LOL I would definitely still do the gumbo, since that's tradition, but I would also offer options. Hoping this doesn't hamper the enjoyment!
I'm like Krista & Steve on this one. Even if they invited themselves, I'd add something he could eat without getting rid of the traditional Gumbo. Relationships and traditions are both important, but you can still have your tradition and the relationship by having gumbo and something else. My house has always had an open door and I'm always willing to whip up something for guests, invited or unexpected. I almost always have a the ingredients for a quick appetizer or dessert to be whipped up and usually the makings of a nice large meal as well, so I'm prepared for unexpected guests. Though there have been times when I couldn't afford to. Do you serve your gumbo over rice or add rice to it? If you serve it over rice you could easily add another option to put over the rice. Take some beef (ground, stew beef, whatever) and brown it, add a can of cream of mushroom, some mushrooms, brown gravy mix and water. Super easy, can be done in crock pot and really deeeelish. Or fix a frozen stir-fry mix (large bags of Bird's Eye Stir-Fry at walmart are around $5-6 and even come with the sauce packet-you can add a couple of chicken breasts to it and you have a cheap, quick, easy meal) as a 2nd option. I also like the idea of adding finger sandwiches and maybe a veggie tray (I get my bags of veggies at Sam's club for under $5 and it's more than enough for a crowd) Unless you simply can not afford to add more food, I would not ask them to bring anything unless you turn the whole affair into a pot luck. They might find it...rude...and while I'm well aware that inviting yourself somewhere and then asking for a menu change is very rude....two wrongs don't make a right. Though it's much easier for us to say these things being removed from the situation.
for the record He is Mexican so he does not care for anything but mexican food most of the time. I am thinking of a different soup and crackers. I don't have much extra funds for more food so I need to find what I have at home. I will make it work somehow..
I don't know the financial situation of the OP, but in my world adding an entirely different menu option simply won't work for my budget. It could be that her heart would want to offer something but with no notice it is just awkward and difficult to do. I posted at the same time....guess I know the sitch now!
A tortilla soup is EASY, and CHEAP to do, this is what I do....not AUTHENTIC, but might satisfy his taste buds... 1 Can Diced Tomatoes w/ Green Chiles (drain) 1 Can diced tomatoes (drain) 1 Can Whole Kernel Corn (I like white corn) 1 Can Black Beans (drain) 1 Can Chicken Broth - have an extra can or 1 cup water & boullion to thin if need to. about 2 cups chopped cooked chicken breast ( we usually ahve this on hand, we eat A LOT of chicken here....this can be omitted though). 1 Cup crushed Tortilla chips Dump everything into a crockpot and cook on high 1 hour, low 2 or 3 hours. stir often, and water and boullion if you want to make it more "brothy". This will be a very thick soup. I usually serve with sour cream, salsa, chopped avocado (this ing is expensive), diced onion, cheese.....anything you'd put on a taco, basically. This is a family favorite. I can usually make for less than $5 and it feeds a crowd!
Thank everyone... I have decided to make chicken and dumplings and gumbo. both I can do. I am really ready to get this holiday over! LOL... She has called me and asked if I bought gifts for her grown up kids... I told her no, that I only was able to by for her grandkids. She then calls back and said well last yr you made gifts for everyone down south so I want to know if you did that again this yr.. I told her no, I did not have the funds to buy the material.. since fabric is higher in cost this yr.. She has made me so upset today... My husband told me if I have scraps I can make some makeup bags for them, but that is it.. and only if I want to. so we will see.. I don't know what she is thinking.. its not like I have asked her if they got me something.. that is not the reason I give when I give! now, I am off to go thru my fabric scraps ... oh joy! ( I don't feel cheerful about giving to people who think they have to beg for one)
I know what you mean, Shelby. My BIL always asks for a present from us (he's 18), so I make him something yummy like cookies, or cake or something. That's not good enough, he wants something "substantial". Ugh! You know, when Christmas is slim for our own kids there is no need for him to throw a fit because we didn't get him anything "substantial" for Christmas. He's 18 years old for Christ's sake. Being with family should be enough! I always tell them that I never ask fro anything for Christmas, and I certainly don't expect anything! Being with family is more than enough for me! Sheesh.
I'm so sorry that family is putting you in such a stressful and awkward position. If he is Mexican then I would totally call him and schmooze him a bit and tell him how you don't know how to cook Mexican food and that you would love it if he could prepare a traditional dish to share with everyone.
Having read the whole thread I see that you have decided to make another dish but I wanted to chime in that while I love to host people and hospitality is something I like to offer I would have told someone who invited themselves and their grown children to my home for a holiday (or anytime really) that if they didn't like the menu they could bring something to pitch in. For that matter everyone does pitch in when we have a family get together. It simply isn't feasible for any one of us to cover the entire cost of a huge meal for that many people. Of course in my family a get together is generally at minimum 10 adults and 11 kids. That's a lot of mouths to feed. As for the gifts my sisters and I discussed a couple of years ago that we shouldn't feel like we have to get anything for each other. We've got young families and budgets are tight in all of our homes. I still try to get them something small - often baked things I've made myself. But I can't even begin to express how I would react if someone behaved as though they were entitled to a gift from me. Ridiculous.
I totally understand how you feel. We have a family member like this. I hate to be negative but don't be suprised if everthing you do is still not good enough. Having 15+ years experience with this type of thing, we now follow a rule with this person. We do nothing more and nothing less than we would do for anyone else in the family. This way, I don't feel like I have slighted anyone in favor of this person and I can sleep at night knowing I did for her what I would have done for everyone else, even though it is not appreciated. Then I choose not to expend energy worrying, arguing or listening to nonsense. If she is not happy - SHE is not happy. I guess what I am trying to say is I would do the same as I would for anyone else in the family, feel good about doing it, and NOT let it ruin my Christmas. Your family deserves it! Edited to add - You can still feel good about making presents for her kids because they may not even know what is going on. And might even feel horrified if they did. Sometimes the apple does fall far from the tree!
Shelby, what's the purpose of SIL asking if you bought them gifts? Is it because if you did, then they would bring something for you, but if you didn't, then you wouldn't get anything?? Not in the spirit of the season, is it? Sorry you are being put in this position. Try to keep your joy-don't let them ruin it!
You hit the nail on the head! I did call my sis in law to ask why she wanted to know, and was told that they did not want to come over if I had something for them and they had nothing for me. :roll: That is not why I give! I am thinking about making something in the morning just because.. I have them cut out, so It will not take too long... wonder how they would feel..
