How much did your school experience decision to HS?

nancy sv

nancy sv

New Member
I'm curious about how much our own experiences in school affect our decisions to homeschool. I always hear parents ranting about how horrible school is, but I wonder how much of that is that school was horrible FOR THE PARENT and he/she is putting his/her own feelings on to the child.

I enjoyed school and my sons enjoy school. We homeschool for the lifestyle (travel) that it affords us.

What about you? Do you think your childhood experiences are a driving force behind your decision to homeschool?
 
Hmm...

I think my own experiences with ps were what made me originally uneasy about ps, but not why I pulled them.

Example: I was horribly bullied in ps. I was completely ostracized for years. So when I found out my ds was being bullied in K I was furious. When I went to have lunch with both of my children years later, and each was sitting alone at the end of a lunch table (both kids on the same day!), I was... queasy. An understatement.

When my dd was playing with imaginary friends at recess instead of other kids, I was... again, uneasy.

Ultimately, though, that isn't why I pulled each of them. Dd was having serious academic issues that the school refused to work with me on (or I refused to agree to their pathetic methods.. you pick ;) ). something had to be done. Ds was having breakdowns and meltdowns EVERY morning. Something had to change.

So did it make me uneasy and concerned? A resounding yes. Is it why I pulled them out, and was it a consideration? No way.
 
I loved elementary school, accepted junior high, and tolerated high school. I enjoyed college, and voluntarily went back to university for grad school. By the time DD was in kindergarten, I began to distrust public school. When she entered first grade, I was in grad school, and I wasn't that thrilled with what she told me about school. After grad school, I went to work in public school (social worker), and seriously began to doubt ps along about the time of NCLB. When DS entered K, my distrust of ps intensified, and it continued through his fourth grade year -- we brought him home for fifth grade where he stayed until he thought he was done and took his GED... a year ahead of his former classmates' graduation. The longer it goes on, the less I trust ps, and if I had any more kids, I'd never let them start the first day in one!
 
Hmm..I don't think so. I never went to public school. I was homeschooled in Kindergarten and then went to several tiny church schools and a private high school. Well, I did have an amazing teacher in one grade that provided a lot of time for exploratory learning. By that I mean he gave us our assignments at the start of the day and when we were done we were free to go to the back of the class and learn what interested us. I thrived and never forgot that and utilize some of his teaching methods in our homeschool. So my childhood schooling may have influenced things that way.

I think public schools can vary. As a professional I worked in three different elementary schools. One was in a small town and the teachers were warm and friendly and the students were as well. The education wasn't stellar, but it wasn't bad either. The other two schools were in a large city in Texas. Both schools were in the same district and they were worlds apart. One was known for academics and it showed. The teachers were great. The school was nice and students learned well. The other school was in a poor part of town. It was a failing school and I watched teachers spend time teaching to the test. Student behavior was not great either. I had a student pull a knife on another student right in front of me. He ended up being suspended 1 day.

I don't home educate because of public schools. I have no idea what the local school is like. It doesn't look horrible from the outside. I just know that public schools cannot provide the education I desire to give my children. Even the best of schools cannot personalize education the way a homeschooling parent can. I also homeschool for socialization reasons. Kids nowadays don't have the best social skills and when their models are each other it isn't really a situation to bring about positive behaviors.

But even if a public school was able to provide a personalized stellar education and had a boatload of good role models I would still homeschool. I know my kids and what makes them tick. I'm learning more and more how to get information into their heads. I'm enjoying the process too. There is no teacher out there who loves my kids like I do. Love is a powerful thing. Maybe it is cocky to teachers, but I'm positive I can do better than the local school.
 
I had bad experiences beginning in Jr High with academics. I had a home ec teacher that didn't know how to cook or sew, a math teacher that thought I was "nice" and wouldn't transfer me out of his class even though I was failing (he passed me with a D- even though he admitted to my parents that I'd earned an F and needed more help), the beginning piano class that I wasn't allow to take because I wasn't already a skilled at piano (Isn't that what beginning means?). Subpar teachers that sat around reading the newspaper while we read the assignment off the board and "taught" ourselves. I could go on......

Although it's not the school's fault necessarily, being sexually assulted in an empty high school hallway after school was the topper. My mom was late picking me up and I was waiting for her on the steps of the school. Everyone, including staff was gone to the field for a football game when it happened. The school was very accomedating and backed me up when I pressed charges against the other student, but those experiences proved to me that there was no way that I was going to allow my children to go to public school. I felt that there must be something better, a better way.

Once I married and had kids, I could not imagine sending my kids to school for a few reasons. I must admit one was a little selfish on my part. I couldn't bear to allow someone else to be that big of an influence in their lives. I wanted to see them read their first books, be excited when they discovered something interesting, etc. The education I had was lacking, so that was another reason. Plus I felt ps was not a safe environment.

My husband was bullied very badly throughout school and when he heard about hs, it didn't take much to convince him. He has been 100% supportive this whole time. This is our 11th year.

I am so glad I found homeschooling. It's become a way of life and I love it!
 
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I loved school growing up. Of course, there were topics or teachers who weren't my favorites, but overall I enjoyed school. In high school I was part of the band and very active in things. Sometimes I pause because my sons don't have the same experience with band, etc that I did. We went out of state to competitions, performed in parades, and more.
That being said, I think we are all happier with our home education. My kids and their friends take part in several local parades and community service work, and are active in a Christian homeschool sports team that provides extra friends/fun/exercise.

So, to answer your question, no, I don't think my school experience influenced our decision to homeschool. Our current school district unfortunately describes WHY we do though!

MT3
 
To to make a long story as short as possible, I went to public elementary and high school. I was bullied in elementary school. I ended up getting jumped by 5 girls and 1 boy. Two of the girls were from high school. Similar incident happened to our oldest son when he was in third grade. He was jumped by four little boys and the school had the nerve to suspend my son. We were outraged! When we got finished with that school our son record was clear and those boys were punished. The year our youngest son went to kindergarten we put them all in christian school..didn't work out.. so we put them in catholic school which surprisingly I ended up working for. It was truly a learning experience for me. Work for awhile but there were things we didn't agree with. The older boys hated catholic highschool. One stayed depressed all the time. Something had to give..but that was only the tip of iceberg but not the biggest reason. One thing for sure all of our boys are happy now and so are we.
 
It wasn't the driving force behind my decision, but it certainly helped to reinforce the choice. I was a military brat and I went to lots and lots of schools. Enough to know that my beefs were not isolated.

From everything I know our school in this area for elementary is pretty good. There is a real community feel here. Still I feel that home school is right for us. We have one who needs a lot of one on one because he struggles a bit, and another who is doing third grade math and reading at about a fourth grade level or so who is only supposed to be starting kindergarten. There is just no way either of my boys would be able to soar with the demands that a public school teacher has to face.

Mostly, I know that God has called me to this, so I'll continue on until He tells me it's time to change directions.
 
nancy sv said:
Interesting to hear all the responses. It's an interesting topic for sure.
Click to expand...

It is!

At some point I'll blog :p about my experiences, but to be honest I hadn't PLANNED to homeschool.

When ds was 18mos a nurse at the pedi said something about it (actually, she was threatening me about a vax... but that's another story), and that probably planted a subconcious seed, but I still didn't intend to homeschool unless ps was going to counteract what I needed to do to protect my children.

I didn't plan to homeschool dd, either. I think that choice came about after I diligently tried to work with her 1st grade teacher, and was told to leave the teaching to them. Meanwhile, my beautiful smart little girl was failing by leaps and bounds, and had decided she was 'stupid'. THEY did that, THEY did. Not me.

Anyway.. :) Just wanted to add that so you know I wasn't actually EVER planning to really homeschool. I left it open as a worst-case-scenario, but I wasn't planning to do it. I didn't learn all the BAD things about today's schools until after my dd was out. Then I got scared :shock: (I thought the bullying I endured was just MY school and MY class. I didn't realize it was an epidemic)
 
Nancy, I did want to add something. My oldest son went to public kindergarten. Middle son was in our church preschool, and youngest DS was born during the school year. Oldest son came home from kindergarten one day and said they had watched part of "The Emperor's New Groove". What?? This k-teacher had already shown several movies, and I had already expressed my concern that in a 2 1/2 hour "school day" she had to fill 30-45 of each day 3x a week with a MOVIE?? (She claimed "Bugs Life" was part of her science curriculum.) Anyway, I called the principal this time, as we hadn't even decided if DS was going to SEE that particular movie, and the principal told the teacher I had called. Teacher called me and asked "What right do YOU have to tell me how to teach MY class?" Really? Since it's MY son?? DH and I decided that we had EVERY right to decide what our son would be learning... and homeschooling arrived at our house!!

So, not really MY experience or my husband's, but our son's public school experience helped influence our decision.
 
I liked school when I was a child and teen. My decision to homeschool came after years of having children in the public schools. My children range in age from 22 to 4 and year after year I saw less and less I liked about school. I finally decided to try homeschooling when my first grader was so stressed in school that he had regular bathroom accidents, daily meltdowns and he started developing tics. He's a smart kid who loves to learn and I knew school was not a good place for him.
 
My experience as a child/student did not play a great part....DH & I both loved (public) school and did very well.

Now, the decision to homeschool was for us, like you, Nancy, a lifestyle decision. Although we don't travel the way your family does, we do have frequent trips that could be very disruptive, but we've made them part of the fabric of our life.

My experience as a public school teacher played a large role in me feeling very good about homeschooling as an option. Even after I left the classroom, I continued to hear (and still do, 9 years later) disturbing anecdotes from parents and teachers. Honestly, we at first considered private school (there are some wonderful options out there), but the fact of the matter is, if you want your child to succeed in school you cannot pick the family up and go HERE in September and THERE in October and this other REALLY GREAT PLACE in February...And I want my kids to know their dad not just as someone always checking his blackberry on the weekends, never around on weekdays.
 
OK I guess I'll be the one to go out on a limb here. Our decision was based mostly (not totally) on our experience in ps. School zone changed and ds was scheduled to go to the same middle school as dh & I went to. The school had a reputation even way back then. DH is convinced this is where he started his ps spiral. I remember the first day of middle school was the first day I ever saw drugs. I can't remember learning anything there. I admit we have sheltered our children more than most but I could not see turning my child over to this school. In recent years it has made national headlines for the number of fights taking place. I believe he would have survived the experience but I don't want him to just survive. Both my kids are bright, well behaved kids. I want them to make the best for themselves not just survive. Pre-emptive strike I guess but I still think it is the best decision for us.
Debbie
 
Wow! This is an interesting topic of discussion.

Here's my little tidbit if you will on the subject. I don't remember much about elementary school except that some teachers played favorites and I didn't like that. I do remember being paddled for choosing what pencil to write with. Yeah to this day I don't know what that teacher was thinking. Middle school was ok I had some great friends and not so great teachers. High school I hated!!! I didn't like how the rich kids were allowed to rule the school. Didn't matter if you were middle class or poor and made straight A's your just simply weren't allowed to do certain things but if you were rich you got moved into advanced classes and got your way. Didn't matter the grade. I only lasted two years in high school. I dropped out and got my GED. I started a community college but found myself pregnant within a few months of starting. My family and I moved to where we are now and once I learned of the school system here I said "no way!". The school system here has managed to remain on the bottom of list for over 20 years. I wanted something better for my kids. I wanted our personal convictions to be in every aspects of our schooling. I wanted to give them the best possible chance at being whatever they want and strive to be without the influence of peers that don't believe the same way we do. I wanted to nuture their own God given gifts and talents and not let someone else who doesn't love or appreciate them the way I do. I truely believe with all my heart this is what I was meant to do as a mandate from God. When the subject of public school comes up and social skills are asked about I quickly respond with "You to school to learn not to socialize". I have witnessed my children handling adult situations with ease and public or private schooled children freaking out and some even have tried to take their own lives. It amazes me how the school system so many people are quick to advocate for have done nothing but let us down. Homeschooling is best for us.
 
Great question!

We have two older daughters who graduated from public school. They are considerably older than Emma. When we found out we were going to have her, we knew we wanted to homeschool.

My public school experience had some weight in the decision. Mainly the social aspect of public school. Looking back, public school does not provide what we believe an education should provide. After dealing with our middle daughter's struggles in school and not receiving help from the school, we tried to do all we could from home. However, as long as the school was moving forward in lessons, we kept falling behind at home. It was a catch up game that we were losing. Sadly after many meetings with the school to hold her back a year, she also gave up. How she managed to graduate is beyond us. She never received passing grades and honestly, at the end didn't earn them either. We could clearly see that something was wrong with the system.
 
I was bullied a bit in elementary school, but was fine after going to Junior High and High School. I enjoyed school from that point on. So it had nothing at all to do with my decision. However, I subbed and taught special ed, and my husband is currently a public school teacher. There is NO WAY I would put my worse enemy in my dh's school!!! And in our district, even the best school are not what I want for my children.
 
I had big problems with bullies starting in 3rd or 4th grade. I also had a teacher who really hated me in 3rd. I was always in the corner, separated from the other students etc. When my dd started having bully issues in 3rd grade I wanted to cry for her! I knew what she was going through and hated to watch it! We had started homeschooling DS for other reasons in K and dd asked if she could be homeschooled too I couldn't refuse her. We brought her home in October of 3rd grade and never looked back! So yes, it had an impact, but I wouldn't have homeschooled her if she hadn't asked.
 
I have to say it never was part of the reason for me to homeschool. But now that I am I have had time to look at the big picture and see that although there are experiences I had my kids won't, they are being enriched in ways the PS system just can't do. Also they are spared the heartache of early peer pressures which can effect us for our whole life. I think they are truly lucky to have this opportunity to freely explore their world and learn at their own pace. :)
 
Hmm...interesting topic..

I had a great time in ps. Went to the best schools, private schools for the most part, never bullied, no problems. But I could see that my children were not going to enjoy that priveleged life. We cant afford private schools, the ps where we live are below standard, waaaaaaaaaay below, and the demographics are just not the kind I would want my children to be a part of.
so we homeschool :)
 
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