preschool a good or bad thing?

Jo Anna

Jo Anna

Active Member
I live in a small town and know a lot of people, but don't go out and do a lot with others that have little kids (toddlers).
Someone mentioned to me that I should let my son go to preschool (NOT headstart or anything) so he will learn to interact with kids his age. I am not to hot on the idea but, would it be a good thing for him? For the social part? He is a VERY smart 2yr old (almost 3). (Started on counting everything around him (up to 5) and knows his colors, and a lot of other stuff.) I guess that is the advantage of having a 10 yr old brother, and a 8 yr old sister.

So, back to my question would preschool be a good thing?
Is it better for him to be around kids his age?
Or will he be alright just the way it is?

(my biggest thing is I don't want him to go to a PS, and this is not a school that deals with the PS, heck the tuition is not that cheap either)
 
IMO, I would never recommend sending a child to preschool.

Why can't you just play with your child? Have neighbors, family to play with once in a while? The people your child play/interact with do not have to be the same age. Purchase fun things for the two of you to do together: Games, zoos, museums, library, etc. etc. etc. The library here has tons of free things to do in the summer and are all group activities.

BTW All my children are 'alright' as they are, and they have survived without being sent away to preschool;)
 
That is what I feel, but after hearing it from so many people sometimes I start to question myself. I do play with him all the time well when we are not doing school. Then he paints or something to keep him occupied while I help my other son.
Thank you! I just needed to hear from someone else that I was not ruining my son keeping him home and doing as we are doing already.
 
I am going to try really hard not to write a book. . .but preschool makes NO SENSE AT ALL! Sorry. . .I happen to be very opinionated on this.


Reason #1: Children in preschool do not interact per se. At least not naturally. Think about the scheduling and discipline it takes to keep x amount of 2 and 3 year olds in order. They may do centers and do all that imaginative play stuff. . .but yippee. They can do that at home w/ you and older siblings and drastically improve vocabulary etc.


Reason #2: Their preschool experience is their first introduction to learning. At home, or at least at my house (but I see many people who are similar) their first experience in learning is exciting. They get to see and do what they want in the academic arena and consequently get some pretty sharp observation and invesitgation skills. I don't want to miss out on their first introduction to learning nor do I want them being forced to do something they are not ready for or held back bc the class isn't fast enough. . .which brings me to my next point.


Reason #3: Learning skills are developmental. Meaning that it is normal not to read until age 8 or 9 and it is also normal to do it at 3. (Insert any skill in there. . .fine motor, gross motor, math reasoning, etc.) But kids don't get that. They do get that Johnny is better than they are or that they are smarter than someone else. They will eventually figure that out anyways. . .but I'm not sure it is helpful or healthy for them to do it at age 2 or 3.


Reason #4: And back to this socialization thing. . .do you really want your preschooler picking up social skills from other preschoolers? They pick their nose and eat their boogers, they don't share, they don't speak properly, they hit, they bite, etc. I know not every single child does this but really who of us has preschoolers and hasn't been utterly embarassed and some of those lovely um. . .social skills. Furthermore, people are very social creatures. . .they don't 'need' to learn how to interact. We do it naturally. They need to learn manners, etiquette, compassion, empathy. . .Out of 5 kids not a single one of them would've been able to help another preschooler learn that while they themselves were in preschool.


Reason #5: Preschool is not healthy.

We are sick once in a blue moon. It would probably be never except that my dh works with. . .preschoolers! I am convinced that these are hte most unhygenic creatures on the face of the earth. I'm not germophobic but the fact of the matter is that your child will bring stuff home if he goes to preschool.


Hmmm. . .I think I just wrote my next blog. LOL

So yes--keep him home with you! ;-)
 
I don't think you need preschool to allow your child to interact with his peers, but I do think you should try to find some kids his age that he can do things with regularly. After all, who doesn't enjoy being with people in their own age group who has similar interests? I'm sure even preschool-aged kids enjoy playing with others who are on their same wave-length every now and then.

I make sure my 4 and 5 year old get to be around kids their own age group through Sunday School, AWANA, VBS, library events, etc. I also set up playdates this summer for the kids in their Sunday School class to meet one day per week this summer to do something fun. We've done the zoo, picnics at parks, etc.

I don't believe preschool is necessary to help a child be around their peers, but I do think it's a good thing to try to find time when your son can spend a bit of play time with others his age if he seems to enjoy doing so.
 
Just to add a slightly different slant to the conversation... My older bunny went to Pre-K when she was 4, and my little one went to the half day 3 year old program last year and will go to the whole day Pre-K program next year at the same school. However, both of our girls are mildly autistic and they need (needed in the case of my older one) the language immersion. In our case, the public school's special ed Pre-K program has been fantastic, and the teachers and administrators have been equally wonderful. We had to make sure we said - over and over to everyone involved - that we were NOT pulling Joy out of the system this year to homeschool because we were unhappy with ANY part of their program. We are homeschooling her because she is ready to be homeschooled and we want to. :love:

In general, assuming your child doesn't have the same issues ours have, if you were planning on putting your son in kindergarten when he turned 5, putting him in a preschool of some kind would be helpful, just so he knew how to do "school". That is what preschool is meant to do - train little people to be ready for school. Since you aren't planning on doing that, I don't see any reason for you to put your bunnies in there. It's actually a big hassle to drop them off and pick them up and schedule things around the school's schedule. And then there are all of the germs!!! Like the sneaky mama said, we get sick a LOT more often while the girls are in school. Icky...
 
Shelley said:
but I do think you should try to find some kids his age that he can do things with regularly. After all, who doesn't enjoy being with people in their own age group who has similar interests? I'm sure even preschool-aged kids enjoy playing with others who are on their same wave-length every now and then.
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I totally disagree with this. I do not have any friends who are the same age as me. I do however have several friends of 'all ages' that share similar interests and "wave-length", just because your the same age as some does not mean your on the same "wave". When I was 'school age' I also did not hang around several kids who were the same age, in fact very little of them were! Even the kids in the neighborhood were all ages.
Some of my best and closets friends are 60 year olds.

I find it is extremely beneficial for my children to experience interactions with all ages, from meetings with homeschool groups, to library functions to clerks at the grocery store and the older retired people who run the local thrift store. My children have no problems interacting with any of them and have become friends with several.

I believe preschool is -the sneaky mama -has it nailed on the head! MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL Children DO NOT need it to LEARN HOW TO 'DO SCHOOL'. Back in the old days, it was KINDERGARTEN that was used as 'preschool'. Though now parents are just itching for chance to pay less now that they don't have to pay for daycare any longer.
 
I agree. It does children in general no real benefit to be around kids there own age for the sake of being around kids their own age. This is a myth perpetuated by our culture and society. I think interaction that naturally happens within a community is much more beneficial. Of course some of that might include interaction with ones own age but doesn't have to.


I don't know about anyone else's kids by my own kids at age 2 & 3 play next to other kids but not 'with' them. Not in the same way my older ones do. They're just not there yet.
 
I don't like head start but that's because of bad experiences with them. My 2 little ones both go to preschool. my 5yod and almost 4yos are going to go to the afternoon class at the special ed preschool. Preschool in itself works for some and for others isn't really necessary. My 2 little ones both have speech delays and issues with motor skills. So the school they go to works with that. The ratio of teachers to students is awesome. There are 4 adults to 8 kids.

My little ones have 1 more yr of preschool then will just get speech therapy at ps.

Preschool works for us but it isn't for everyone. I am tied to the school schedule which is a bit annoying but then again my little ones need speech therapy and if I had to pay for it myself yikes! My oldest is ADD so having them go actually gives me a bit of a break. (they only go 2 hours/day 3 days a week)

It is your decision what you do. In my opinion preschool really isn't necessary at all. We only do it for the therapy that they get.
 
Nellie said:
I totally disagree with this. I do not have any friends who are the same age as me. I do however have several friends of 'all ages' that share similar interests and "wave-length", just because your the same age as some does not mean your on the same "wave". When I was 'school age' I also did not hang around several kids who were the same age, in fact very little of them were! Even the kids in the neighborhood were all ages.
Some of my best and closets friends are 60 year olds.

I find it is extremely beneficial for my children to experience interactions with all ages, from meetings with homeschool groups, to library functions to clerks at the grocery store and the older retired people who run the local thrift store. My children have no problems interacting with any of them and have become friends with several.
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I beg your pardon, but I never said they couldn't or shouldn't be encouraged to interact with people of all ages, so your comments don't really apply to what I was saying at all. And since when would interacting with people of all ages preclude interaction with kids of their OWN age?!

I also didn't say he should only play with kids his own age all the time. I suggested only that she should find a way for her preschool-aged child to interact occasionally with kids in his actual age group.

My husband and I enjoy the company of an older couple in our church, but we also enjoy hanging out with the couples in our Sunday School class. We enjoy different things about all the age groups. I like to be around people my own age every now and then because we're in the same place in our lives right now---stay-at-home moms with preschool-aged kids.

There's nothing wrong or evil about wanting to hang around once in a while with people in your own age group. To suggest that it would be wrong or pointless to make the effort may be true for you and your family (and maybe even the original poster's), but it's not true for everyone.

And, for the record, I use a K5 curriculum with my two and let them hang around kids of their own age as well as kids of other ages, and I don't feel I've been wrong in doing so.
 
the sneaky mama said:
I agree. It does children in general no real benefit to be around kids there own age for the sake of being around kids their own age. This is a myth perpetuated by our culture and society. I think interaction that naturally happens within a community is much more beneficial. Of course some of that might include interaction with ones own age but doesn't have to.


I don't know about anyone else's kids by my own kids at age 2 & 3 play next to other kids but not 'with' them. Not in the same way my older ones do. They're just not there yet.
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Again, I never said they should only play with kids their own age. I said it would be nice to make some effort to let them spend some time with kids their own age.

My 4 and 5 year olds love to pretend play. Older kids will humor them for a time, but then it gets tiresome for them. However, their 4 year old pals will play with the same energy and with the same enthusiasm for just as long.

I will also point out that I ended by saying she should make the effort if playing with his own peers seemed to be something he enjoyed. Naturally, if he gets no interest in being with others his own age, there's not much point in bothering.
 
My older two went to preschool for language delays and speech therapy. They were only in for about 2 hours a day. It helped their speech tremendously. Maybe I could have done it at home but I lacked confidence to do so. In the end I am glad I sent them cause they have no speech problems anymore.

Don't let anyone tell you that you should send your child to preschool. If you want to then do so but dont' under pressure. Personally i think preschool is a waste of money. A playdate, vbs, or other activities with kids can teach them alot more for no money.
On the other hand with my DH being deployed for a year this dec I have considered letting the younger two go for a few hours. Everyone is concerned that I am putting too much on my plate with a new baby, homeschooling, and being alone. Not sure what I am going to do.
 
Alright, well here's my two cents.

I'm looking into some sort of Mother's Day Out program or something similar for my younger two, starting probably in the fall. I just need the break from them, and I think it will allow some more intensive study time (or projects, etc) with my older one. The little ones are 4 and almost 3 (August), and are just a lot to keep up with, and I think a one or two day per week program will fit our family perfectly.

I'm not putting them there to learn, nor to interact, or anything else. I'm putting them there because *I NEED* the emotional break, and I think it will be good for them to be away from mama for a short period of time now and then. We can't afford much, but I don't want them tied down to an all-day every-day ps preschool.

I'd never put them in "preschool" because someone else thought they should have the intro to "school" or for socialization - we get plenty of that with church, VBS, play dates, and homeschoolers park days. That's a null subject.

If you don't feel that they need to go or that you want them to go for a while, then don't send them. I wouldn't in your case. <<hugs>> and prayers for you to make the decision that works best for YOUR family. ;)
 
While I don't think preschool is necessary, I don't think it's a bad thing either. Dd was in preschool at 3 1/2- plus daycare because I had to work. She was there all day, 5 days a week. Had circumstances been different and I not had to work that year I would have sent her a half day preschool that was only 2 mornings a week. She went a pre-k 3 mornings a week after I quit working and she loved it. She made a couple of friends and her teacher is still someone we keep in contact with. She was a former christian school kindergarten teacher and was absolutely wonderful.
I don't regret sending dd for pre-k at all. Preschool was a different story, her first preschool the teacher was awful. I witnessed dd getting yelled at by another teacher for wetting herself. We pulled her that day and put her in a childcare center close to our house till I quit working two months later.

For us it was best for her to be in a preschool because I could not have provided that at home- the social aspect of it, and the aspect of learning to work with others. Had we thought of homeschooling full time back then it wouldn't have been an issue, but at that time our plan was to keep her in regular school. She didn't learn a lot academically, but she had fun and made a couple of very good friends.

So I say if you are able to involve your child with other children his age then go for it. I have a social butterfly who gets irritable and depressed- literally, when she's not around other kids on a regular basis. SHe has no siblings otherwise I think things may be different.

It's a personal decision. Apart from the bad teacher at the first preschool, I don't think preschool is a bad thing.
 
Shelley said:
Again, I never said they should only play with kids their own age. I said it would be nice to make some effort to let them spend some time with kids their own age.

My 4 and 5 year olds love to pretend play. Older kids will humor them for a time, but then it gets tiresome for them. However, their 4 year old pals will play with the same energy and with the same enthusiasm for just as long.

I will also point out that I ended by saying she should make the effort if playing with his own peers seemed to be something he enjoyed. Naturally, if he gets no interest in being with others his own age, there's not much point in bothering.
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Yikes Shelly!!!! I didn't mean to put you on the defensive! I'm sorry about that! :oops: I was really just trying to be supportive of the OP who said she didn't feel like she should do the PK thing. I obviously have strong opinions about PK but /I certainly didn't mean to state them in a way that shut anyone else out. Again, sorry about that. :oops:
 
As a preschool teacher I have just spent the last fifteen minutes of my life feeling as though my job is absolutely meaningless.
I realize that I am talking to a group of homeschoolers while most of the children I teach go on to private or public school so, of course, you guys and the parents of "my" kids don't have the same motivation.
I just want to point out that preschool is not a horrible place. It's a place where children are encouraged to love learning. Let's face it...all parents don't realize that they are capable of teaching their own children.
Many of the children that come into my room get read to ONLY when I do it. They learn how to chew with their mouth closed only because they came to preschool. They learn that it's wrong to take a toy from a friend only because I teach them.
Do I think that preschool is right for everyone and every child should go? Absolutely not! But, let's not just trash the whole thing and say that it is of Satan (tic).
 
I think it totally depends on what YOU want to do. If you want to prepare him for ps and/or have some play and learning time with kids his age, go for it! And if you don't, don't. If you put him in school and you do not want to, it is probably going to be a bad experience all around. But preschool can offer a lot of good things that may not otherwise be available in your community, too. So, do what is best for THIS child and feel good about it!
 
[sigh]

JoAnna -
To answer your question, this is a really hot-button topic with almost everyone it seems. This is one where you just have to judge what's right for YOUR kiddos, YOUR family. No one can tell you what's right or wrong in this case.

I don't think anyone here was trying to offend or uproot anyone else, and it seems that feelings have been hurt on both sides. Let's all cool down a little and just leave it at the fact that this is just one of those things that is very opinionable and everyone needs to decide for themselves what to do about it.

Sorry JoAnna - hope this thread at least enlightened you in areas you had the most questions about and will help you to determine the best route for you guys. I think it a lot of times also depends on the specific place you choose, so choose carefully and visit before deciding.

Some of us need the break. Some of us think the kids could very much use interaction with others their age. Some of us wouldn't put our kids in preschool if it was the last option. ;) You decide what's right for you hun. <<hugs>>
 
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