Washing a Child's Mouth out with soap?

M

Meleas

New Member
Please do not judge... My daughter has gotten a bit mouthy lately, and a friend recommended to wash her mouth out with soap. I personally didn't grow up with it, so I don't really have any experience... and when you look it up online... well let's just say there is a lot of people with weird fantasies... and I really rather not sort through that filth. Let me know what you think.
 
I know I wouldn't like for someone to wash my mouth out with soap. It's not going to teach me not to say "bad words" - it's going to make me afraid of the person physically abusing me. There are better ways to teach someone right and wrong. Threats and intimidation are emotionally destructive.
 
Did you ever see the movie "Christmas Story"? When the boy says "the mother of all bad words"? He got his mouth washed out with soap, but it wasn't brutal or abusive or anything -- his mom handed him the bar of soap and he had to sit there with it in his mouth while the voice-over narrator (the kid all grown up) reflects on comparing the flavors of various brands... It tastes nasty, but it doesn't have to be considered "abuse". Maybe I'm just from another generation.....I also believe in a judicial, non-abusive, use of spanking.
 
Seems gross, but it gets the point across. I think any punishment can be considered abuse if it's done in anger rather than in love, and if it's done without a firm understanding from the child (through conversation), so that it's clear what the expectations are and why. More "why" as the child gets older, of course. The punishment needs to fit the crime, fit the child's age or maturity level, and always be done in a loving way.
 
I guess I see it as abusive because it seems so ridiculous. I just think there are better ways of teaching a child vs. intimidating them. Put a bar of soap and my mouth and I'll rebel. But that's me. :) (and my kids too... we want to know WHY and will be motivated by and learn from a natural consequence.)
 
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Spanking, mouth-washing, time-out, kneeling in the corner, extra chores, writing lines, whatever consequence is used should always be accompanied (before, after, during, whenever) with the discussion of why 'this' was not acceptable behavior. Very important is their "why" for doing something they knew was not acceptable behavior, as well as "why" it's not acceptable.
Hebrews 12:11 (KJV) Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
 
I could see where it might be useful as an type of object lesson about the power of words and how the effect others, but I think I'd use lemon or vinegar...not soap. ('d also include the flip side with some honey as part of the lesson about what kind of words you do want your child to use. I'm not sure how useful soap would be as a consequence, because the issue is not so much the words being spoken but the defiance out of which it stems. I think soap in the mouth is just likely to cement that defiance. (I'm presuming it's defiance; if it's just a bad habit, then she doesn't need punishment, she needs help to break the habit.)
 
Ah, yes, that's what I was thinking but unable to put into words, @ochumgache. I love the honey vs. lemon/vinegar illustration. You can even tie that into Proverbs 16:24...
"Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body."

If you must wash the mouth, I like the idea of using something like vinegar or lemon as it is not harmful. Soap has chemicals in it that really aren't safe to be putting into one's body in the first place.
 
I try to use a punishment that results in a similar outcome on the flip side. When my child would get mouthy, I did not hear her when she wanted something as in I closed off my ears from her words...all her words. It takes patience. We would have a talk AFTER I had her attention in that way. It has been my experience that children of all ages listen better when they want something for themselves.
 
Dh actually did this once with sd. Mind you it was not a lot but it got the point across. After that the language she spoke at home and around her elders was a least polite. I am sure with her friends (she was still in ps at the time) the language was probably pretty bad but at least she learned some control.
 
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