I homeschooled my 3 children for the past 3 years but this year decided to put them in public school because I can't stand the complaining and whining everyday! It was driving me crazy! I tried rewarding them and discipline but whining was an everyday thing and my sis-n-law has the same problem. My children are now 11, 8, and 6 but I also have a baby who is 10 months and another one on the way! We recently moved to a small town and the school's classroom's are about 10-13 students, but that's two grades. Here they combine 1st & 2nd, 3rd & 4th, 5th & 6th and 7th & 8th. Because of this I thought the test scores would be high and the kids would be learning more but that's not the case in this school. I have been thinking of homeschooling again but the whining is slowing me down, that and my 2 girls won't talk to strangers. They still haven't said one word to the teacher so I think they may have selective mutism which is a social anxiety disorder. I just don't know if taking them out would help because we live 9 miles outside of that small town and 17 miles from the next town of 2000 people. We are out in the boonies. They would see no one at all, except on weekends when we go to church but they won't talk there either. Does anyone have problems with whining or children who won't talk??? Thanks!
I don't know anything about kids that won't talk but for whining I stopped it in Sami by just saying, "Mommy dosn't understand you when you talk that way." and then I just ignored her till she talked normally. It was annoying at first cause she would just keep whining and I kept ignoring her. After a week she figured out that it was totally useless to talk to me like that and it stopped.
My kids whine about homeschool work. I guess complaining mostly but it was always about work. "I don't want to do it. Why do I have to do it? I don't like school." And on and on. If I had them each doing their lessons and and left for a few minutes to go to the bathroom or get their baby brother from his nap, they were up playing or talking and hadn't done one thing since I left. I have to hold their hands to get them to do anything. I've taken away priveleges before but it did no good because they'd sit there until dark because they didn't want to do it. I have not had a pleasant experience homeschooling, that's for sure! Thanks for the advice on whining!
Who doesn't? LOL! Seriously, they know which buttons to push. You gotta learn to never let 'em see ya sweat. Makes all the difference in the world !
I really thought I was alone here, but I guess not, I am trying to deal with whining with my 7 almost 8 year old daughter (It's too hard, I can't....) With my son-same age since they are twins, we but heads, he can do the work, but gets so off track with the other little kids around. I only have the kitchen table to work with, and some times I have to make one go in the living room with their work, I think the 4 year old is board with her work so I give her more challenging work and if its a little too hard she gets really discouraged. My 6 year old is behind because he had leukimia and we didn't start really until most of the treatments were over with last year. There are some days, usualy mondays that just seam to be so bad! I get in to raising my voice, and being short with them at times, which I hate when its all done with and sit and wonder if its all really worth it.
Well kids and whining go hand in hand- I do the " I cant hear you when you whine" and then ignore them. It does make him stop whining and ask in a normal tone, but it hasnt made the whining stop. Next time he still whines- I ignore-- he asks appropriately. This cycle continues on and on-- I am hoping someday it will sink in and he will learn not to whine. Can you enlist dh help with this-- do they whine less at home since you ps them or is it that they are just not there. Your girls sound like they need interaction-- personally I dont think they are going to get the kind of interaction they need at ps. Even though the class size sounds good. I really think they need smaller less overwhelming interaction with someone "safe" like mommy with them. If you do hs them again I would try and find "play dates" to scheldule in for school time at least 2-3 X week. Just my humble opinion and of coarse you know you kids best. Good luck Jill
They don't seem to whine much since going to public school but they still complain about everything. I think complaining is what they do most of. Maybe whining wasn't the best word but they seem to go hand in hand. We moved out to the country about 6 months ago so we don't know a lot of people but have had their friends come over, however they don't have a problem talking to other kids really, it's mainly adults. From what I've read, if they have selective mutism then it's a social anxiety disorder. I've offered movies and other rewards if they'll say hi to my grandmother but they won't even do that. I don't know what to do about them. My son doesn't have a problem talking at all. He's real outgoing. The girls talk to their grandaddy, my mothers and their close friends but that's it. I've never known of any kids like this. Life is always an adventure!
A friend of mine has a dd with selective mutism. She wouldn't talk to anyone except her immediate family (mom/dad/sis). She was treated with a child's dosage of prozac after lots and lots of interventions that didn't work. The last I heard she was doing well and now talking with kids at school and teachers as well as family members. If you suspect this in your girls then you may talk to your dr about it. It is very serious. However, it may be just that your girls are very shy. I have two shy kids and they don't talk much to people they don't know or know well. However, they talk their heads off when they get to know people, LOL!
Cha My oldest dd was just like that. Wouldn't talk to anyone but me and her dad and thats it. Did that for years would just sit by us no matter where went or what we did and hid behind us, people would talk to her and she would look at us to answer for her. But, we would just keeping looking at her and she finally would say alittle something. They do out grow it. And believe me ps don't help. I had her in ps for awhile to be honest with you I think it made it worst. Not better. But, one thing that worked wonderful for her is a pen pal she has a pen pal right now with a wonderful mother who is wonderful, lets them talk on the phone and write back and forth and she has open up so much. My dd is almost 13. I think it takes alot of patient. But, it is hard.
I was soooooo glad to read this post! My 8 year old son is the whining king of our household. Maybe it's the age!?! He can start the minute he gets out of bed and not stop until bedtime. He can whine about anything and everything! I have spent many a time in my room crying into my pillow because of it. We have implemented a three check system that is working well, it hasn't made the whining stop, but it has made it bearable. One check is your warning, second is going to bed until he can get ahold of himself and change his attitude, and a third check is losing a priviledge for one week. I am also doing the ignoring thing. There are two things I can't stand, urine and whining! It has been a part of homeschooling with him that has made it a very unpleasant experience most of the time. I just take lots of breaks and remind myself why I am doing this. It also helps to know that the "whiny monster" doesn't just live at my house!
complaining This may sound harsh, but when my children have complained about schoolwork or chores (especially chores) I double the load. Soon, they catch on. Complaining happens, but not routinely. We also memorized the scripture that says do all things without complaining or disputing. I would make them repeat it to me when they would complain. I asked the kids to give me a hearty "Yes, Ma'am!" when I asked them to do something. If they didn't or if they weren't enthusiastic about it, I would make them do it again. They had to do it louder, and smile, and act all excited about it. We would all get tickled. It eases the tension but still gets the point across. Back then, if they didn't respond correctly when I told/asked them something, I would say, "Would you like to try that again?" If they did say "Yes, Ma'am, I,d be glad to" without a bad attitude then all was fine. But if they kept the attitude, then we doubled the work. Cleaning up the kitchen alone is no fun for a 9 yr. old. The very hardest part for me has always been *consistency*. When I am sticking to it, they do great. When I let it slide, they get worse. We've all heard the saying, "Give a kid and inch, he'll take a mile." I don't have it all togethre by any stretch of the imagination, but even when I get sick of dealing with my kids, I get the chance to be around other kids, then I am grateful for my own again. We train our kids to what we can or will tolerate. I do know that a friend of mine who had been homeschooling forever put her kids in school, a private school at that, and said it was a real mistake because her kids fought with each other more and were really disinterested in family life. They just all wanted to do their own thing. I would be cautiious of letting the complaining be the reason for going back to PS. Sometimes, we do what we have to do. But our motivation needs to be right. I am responsible to train my children to accept authority. If they don't learn to obey their dad and me whom they can see...how will they ever submit to God whom they can't see.? And at the same time, I am not be personally offended when they fail. That is hard. But if I get angry (and boy, do I!) they are provoked and they get angry and bitter as well. It can be a real balancing act. But guess what? God gave us our kids because He knew that they were just the right kids for us, and we were just the right parents for them. And Homeschooling lets us all see the faults of our family members very clearly, buy it makes us better for sticking with it and dealing with it. I hope this has been an encouragement to you. I remember all the years I struggled and needed all the encouragement I could get. Still need it today. love, Carrie
Forgive me if I sound harsh or disrespectful, but do you make the lessons and learning fun enough for them? Maybe they don't like it because they aren't having enough fun with it... As far as sending them to public school, that is totally your decision and you know what is best for you and your kids. Homeschooling isn't for everyone and public school isn't for everyone. You do what you think is best.
I doubt I make it fun. My 8 yr old just loves school and I can't go wrong with her. She does work on saturday just for fun. The 11 yr old and 6 yr old are the ones who don't like it and complain all the time. Teaching is not something I enjoy doing, but I'm sure anyone can teach; however not everyone is good at it. I don't know if I just don't like teaching or if it's the complaining. I don't know how to make school fun. Teaching 3 grades and making it fun doesn't sound easy, and not everything in life is fun or easy. I agree that some extras are good, but making it fun all the time I think is impossible, but I'm open to any suggestions. They are in public school and have been since the last semester last year when we moved. We were so busy with the move that we missed weeks of school so I thought it would be better to put them in school. I do miss them during the day and find myself bored at times, but other times it's nice in the quiet, except for my 10 month old but he's a sweetie! He can't talk yet! hahaha Does everyone here have a schedule they go by? I've tried it both ways and my kids function better with set times but if we just wing it like I know some books recommend, I can't get them to do anything. I'd be the only homeschooling mom in this town if I decide to again and the closest homeschool group is two hours away so we wouldn't have any homeschool support groups. We could go on field trips at times and we live on a small farm that's growing slowly. They could get involved in 4-H at least. Lot's to think about. Thanks for everyone's input.
I agree with you Cha. I think we tend to think that everything or most everything in school "Should be fun" for kids. I got caught up in that idea as a ps teacher. Now that I teach my own kids I see that it is nice to make it fun but not alawys realistic (especially as they get older). I think the first two years of homeschooling I spent ALL MY TIME trying to make school really cool and fun. I finally decided that a few fun things mixed in with the real world stuff is just fine. Like you say, the real world isn't always fun. How many people go to work and have total fun all day long??? I doubt it's many. What if we whined and complained to our bosses that the work we had to do was BORING and NO FUN! They would laugh at us and probably fire us. I tell my kids that sometimes in life we have to do things that aren't exactly fun. Heck, I don't exactly enjoy cleaning toilets but what if I never did it? GROSS! LOL! I reward my kids for good behavior. If they work hard on school work then we take a nice long recess around lunch time. If they complain a lot then we don't. It's simple. My kids love going out to play so that usually does the trick.
LOL. The other day Jeannie was telling me why we needed to go to this new park we found. Obviously she has picked up on my concerns with homeschooling. She says 'I HAVE to have fun and see other kids!'
When my oldest (9yo) gets whiny about school work I remind him that how he feels about it is up to him. But regardless he is going to do it. I've been as accomidating as I can with him and at times I believe he is actually refusing to have fun. He's not so bad with the schoolwork these days, but he doesn't usually like the "fun" things I plan to do. I've had a hard time finding things for him. I arranged for riding lessons this fall and the teacher had to back out so now I'm at a loss.....we chose riding lessons over 4-H and now our group has reached their maximum amount of kids :rolling eyes:. I even called about mideaval sword fighting lessons 8) but of course he's not old enough.....man! I just got myself all down again.... He had been doing an apprenticeship with my dad before we moved and I desparately need to find him something else to fill that void...traveling back and forth is not an option. It's almost like he's unemployed right now, kwim? He's more than willing to take on a job but nobody will hire him.....sheesh! I'll shut up now that I've completely gone astray from the "whiny kids" and turned it into "whiny mom"...sorry.
