I'm sure this has been discussed before so feel free to direct me to the threads if that is infact the case. I am a 35yr old Christian mom of 4- 8yr old girl in 2nd grade, 6yr old boy in 1st grade, 3yr old girl, and a 20mo old boy. I am homeschooling the 1st and 2nd grader. The 3yr old goes to the local preschool Wed, Thurs & Friday. I'm tired, have no patience, my house is a mess and I LOVE the teachers the two older ones would have if I put them in Public School. I homeschooled thru a charter school my oldest's kindergarten year, then put her in Kindergarten at the public school the following year because at the end of the year I still had no idea how else to teach her that b says "buh" and the Kindergarteners that would have been in her class were all reading well. She went thru two years of PS as well as my son going there last year for K. I started HS this year and so far it SUCKS! I have NO patience and I can't seem to make it fun for them. My image of it is not matching the reality of it. When do you work thru it and when do you call it quits? thanks, Erica
Two things - You're in the business of meeting your kids' educational needs. Sending them to school, if that's what you feel is best, isn't quitting. It's simply doing what you think is best at the moment. Next - maybe you need a complete change. I felt much like you did when we had been unschooling for several years. I completely switched my approach to something more formal and it really seemed to help. Maybe a complete change is what you need. Read up on unschooling or some different style and try that for awhile. See if it reignites your interest.
I don't have much wisdom to pass along but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you feel so upset about this situation. Homeschooling can be very trying. And if your not feeling it this year, who's to say adjustments can't be made? Do what is best for your children. Check out your options, talk to the teachers, give yourself some quiet time to think/pray about this. ((HUGS))
(((Erica))) I am sorry you are feeling this way. First, what are your reasons for homeschooling? Sometimes it helps to remember those reasons. Second, what curriculum are you using? Some are much more teacher friendly than others. Are you combining the 6 and 8 year old in subjects like history, science, art, etc.? This will help and free up your time a bit. Are the kids helping with the house? The 6 and 8 year old should be able to pitch in some to keep the house together. What kind of support do you have? I do not think that homeschooling is for everyone, or every child, or for all seasons within a family. My oldest flew the homeshool nest and I still homeschool the younger two, so you need to see what is best for each child and the whole family. If ps is what works best, then you are not a quitter, you are a problem solver.
I agree with the previous posts. Homeschooling isn't for everyone. I also think that if you started at the beginning of the school year that it may be too soon to decide for sure that it's not for you. Maybe you should try a few different techniques or approaches first. But if you still feel the same, then that's okay. Best of luck with you and please keep us posted and ask questions if you have them (and we all do!)
Well I might give some insight but I'd need more details - is reading the problem? Or do you just generally feel unqualified? Perhaps it is the little ones the seem to zap all your focus and attention or maybe you feel they're getting left behind when you compare them to the public school kids. If I only had one bit of advise to give a new HS mom it would be NEVER EVER EVER compare your kids to what the public schools are doing. You started this, hopefully, becasue you wanted to tailor your child's educational experience to meet their own personal needs. Kids that go to school all learn the same thing at the same time so your kids may seem out of place if they are doing something different. Don't let it bother you. Homeschool is cumulative - meaning you gotta do it for a few eyars to really appreciate what a good job you've done! I've said it onhere before - this is our 7 year in HS and I can remember years - entire YEARS when I know we accomplished absolutely nothing. I'm not kidding either. But then there were other years when we ended up doing double the work. Most likely your issue is that your curricukum choice isn't compatable with either yourself or your kids. Tell us what you have and what you are looking for and I bet we know something that would ease your stress.
((((((((hugs)))))))) and prayers! If you can give us some ideas of what you want to "fun" up, we can give some suggestions. You also know better what your kids enjoy....crafts? building stuff? hands on? etc. Somethings that might help.... I remember the days of having to schedule around the "not-old-enough for school" ones. Special toys for just during schooltime is a big help. Also, the older two can read to the younger two. Get creative~ If you can't come up with things, there are tons of books at your library for making different subjects fun. (Especially science) Have the kids help with the house. Never too young to learn responsiblity and that a family works together. Also, can make it part of the school day as "home economics" class. As for being tired....are you getting enough rest? Getting time for yourself each day? Even if only 10 minutes? Have you talked to your doctor about it that it could be something? Don't compare yourself/family to others. Find what works for YOU. I never thought homeschooling is the only way. It's just what WE decided for OUR family. I also don't think there is only one way to homeschool. Just some thoughts and my opinion!~ Hope it helps
Everyone has given great advice. Sorry you're having such a rough time with this decision. I'm a big fan of the pros/cons list. Make one for homeschooling and another for public schooling. Sometimes just having your feelings and opinions about both options laid out for you in black and white can help put things into perspective for you. Good luck!
I just wanted to add that I COMPLETELY agree with this. If you ask people about their method for homeschooling you'll find so many different answers that you couldn't cover it all! Don't compare yourself with other families, that's entirely true!!!!! I have to remind myself of that daily!!!!
Oh do I have days like that!! This is what I try and remember (as I sit looking at legos on the floor I asked them to pick up 3 days ago <sigh>). What do I want FOR my kids? This reminds me a lot of times everything I am working for. I also sometimes just read the paper. Sounds off - but you know we had a situation recently where a parent brought a gun to a local school for a teacher conference!! Then I remember what my state tests on (math & language arts only by the CAT test I give at home) and make sure those ate the things I check on them. The rest of it is extra in my opinion. Are you trying to do too much? Do your kids have chores to help you out? That is important and even is part of school (home ec!). HS'ing isn't for everyone but some times you just need to take a break and enjoy your kids. Allow them to BE kids BTW - I loved my kids teachers in PS. But as much as I liked them - MY KIDS weren't getting enough out of the class room. It had nothing to do with the teacher's themselves.
Ditto the above. I do not regret the years my older kids went to their Dept of Defense school. DH was out of the country for 3 of 4.5 years and it was the right decision for our family at that season of our life. Now that DH is back and we've moved, homeschooling is what is right for this season (and hopefully all those to come :lol Everyone has offered some great advice so far. The only other thing I can add is some advise given to me early on : "Remember that homeschooling is a marathon, not a sprint". You don't have to do it all in the first day, first week, first month, year....whatever. We moved 3 times in our first year of homeschooling. I felt like the kids didn't get the "best" of me for schooling but, they learned more about each other, they learned to work a bit more independently (except the youngest), and they READ, READ, READ (or listened to audiobooks, etc). They might not have learned exactly what I had planned originally but they still learned more than they would have at the neighborhood school or at the 2 different ones they would have attended had they not been homeschooling (what a disaster that would have been...3 schools in 13 months). Hang in there. Your school age kids are still young. As long as you are reading to them, they are learning to read or continuing to practice it and you're doing some math skills (formal or informal)....they'll be fine. Rhonda
Just wanted to give hugs. Your kids are about a year older than all of mine (7, 5, 3, and 18 mos), and mine wear me out! Frequently! I am just schooling my 7 yo right now, with more "focus on fun" with the other three - next year, I plan to get a bit more formal with my now-5 yo. A few things that I have found helpful: - rest time. Right now, the baby is the only one napping, but while she is down, I have the other kids sit in different parts of the house and have some quiet time. I alternate between laying in bed with my 3 yo and reading to myself and him (and occasionally taking a nap myself) to getting a few quiet things done (in fact, it is rest time as I type!). This is the only time I get to recharge, and I have found it to be vital. - Another thing I noticed was that you said it wasn't fun for them. Try to make it fun for you, as well. Of course, it's not always going to be fun and games, but if you can figure out how to combine what you enjoy with what they enjoy, then it helps you get through the more "serious" parts. Not only are they apt to learn more, you will want to teach more, KWIM? - Let your next-to-last "babysit". We have our upstairs gated off, and I close off doors (my room and the bathroom) the baby isn't allowed to go and have my 3 yo play with the baby. I have the door to the classroom open so I can keep an ear out, and I frequently take a peek, especially when it gets quiet, but by allowing them to play in another room, it keeps the noise and distraction to a minimum for the older two. - Conversely, find fun things that all or most can do. We did a big poster while the baby was snacking in her high chair the other day. We've been learning about Columbus, so my oldest was telling her brothers why "this ship is the Nina" and "the captain of the Pinta was..." But mostly they had fun. (Note: I did have a reality check when we were trying to get set up and I found myself stressed and yelling, "This is supposed to be fun!" -- I sent them to their rooms, took a few deep breaths, then called them back down in a better mood.) - Realize that if you have bad days - or a bad week - you are not alone. At the very least, I know I have them! I'm sure others have, too. Sometimes on those days, we focus more on fun. I recently found out the App. trail is fairly level about 5-6 miles from our house, so on our "high stress" days, we go out hiking. That's science AND physical education! (And sometimes, we'll talk about what we've been reading in history or stomp out some math facts.) It provides a change of pace AND exhausts the kids so they are ready for bed sooner! As mentioned before, HS is *a* decision, not *the* decision. If you review your reasons for HSing and, if you are religious, pray about your decision, and feel like what works best is stopping, then don't feel like you are quitting. Feel like you are moving on. Best of luck to you! I have to go enjoy my naptime now, LOL. SG
Thank you all so much for your encouragement and insight! I've done a lot of thinking about it and praying too and I think I've really found the bottom line with what is going on with me. See, when I approached my husband about hs this year, he was not at all enthusiastic about it. But he said, "I don't think it is a good idea, you say you already are overwhelmed and now you're going to add this?" But he also said he understood my reasoning why I want to do it. (My reasoning was that when the kids are in ps, I don't know what is going on in their classroom. Not that I think anything BAD is happening, but I can't work in the class room because I have the other two kids. We have no babysitters at all. I felt I wanted to be more involved in their learning. Then at 3pm when I pick them up from the bus stop, it is a mad dash to get homework, fun, dinner, bedtime routines all squeezed in before 8pm. I thought this was the best way.) Anyway, I am even more overwhelmed and feeling just pulled in so many directions I can't even think straight. My kids are with me 24hrs a day and have been since 9/28/00. I feel like I'm trying to hold them up in water and they are pushing me under and every now and then, I get a gulp of air while holding them (the one time I am kid free each week- Tuesdays for 2hrs for a Bible Study). I don't get a kid break except for the 2 or so hours before I go to bed. Which is great, don't get me wrong, but sometimes my DH is so tired he just goes to bed so I am left alone with no grownup time. Then like yesterday, when my husband went to put shoes on a couple of horses (he's a horseshoer on the side) and told me he'd be back before noon, and didn't come back until 3:30, I flipped out on him because I was so DONE with having two kids on me when I sit, breaking up fights with the older two and arguing with my son why I've blocked all the cartoon channels. I'm not one to not let my husband go "play with his friends" but because I'm so overwhelmed, I get pissy when he wants too. "When are you going to take ME out to play?" We haven't had a date since my 3yr old was a couple weeks old and she CAME with us. Even now I feel my blood boiling tthinking about it. I feel like I can't really tell him about it because the underlying thing that he would never say is that it is MY choice to hs and he thought I was already doing too much anyway. Ug, our education specialist or what ever the charter school calls her is coming over today for samples of work. She's our pastor's wife and probably the neatest lady I know. I plan on talking to her about it and seeing if she has any suggestions too. Maybe I'm looking for her approval to send my kids back to PS. I don't know. But that's what's going on my head at this point. Thanks again for your posts! Erica
It sounds like it's not so much the schooling that's the issue but the status of the home itself. Can you and your husband afford a babysitter once a week for a date night [or, if your husband doesn't want to go out, for you to have a night off?]? I've known some women who'll trade off watching each other's kids just to have the break. Have you considered schooling your 1st and 2nd grader together under one curriculum? Although my daughter is one year older than my son, they are both doing the same grade level work [except math - my daughter is doing 1st grade while my sone is 2nd grade]. This is such an incredible time saver. I also use the computer to help as well as educational DVDs [fun stuff like The Electric Company]. That way, if one child is doing something, the other can be doing something else. Scheduling can also help. Many find a more 'college type' of schedule useful. They do 3 subjects on Monday, Wed., Fri., and another 3 subjects on Tues/Thurs. Doing this should free up some time so that you can go on some fun field trips and maybe do some craft projects and/or science projects. Homeschooling may not be a good fit for your family right now, and that's OK. You can also always try homeschooling one, get that down, and then add in one at a time as you get your footing. And, as others have said, there's nothing wrong with putting them all in school if that's what you'd really prefer doing. This is your family [including you], and you just need to decide what's going to be best for all of you. Good luck with your choice. I'm sure it will all be well regardless of the decision you make.
I am agreeing with those that are saying organising is the way to go... It sounds like with the four of them bouncing around you are trying to teach two of them... I had three at once in the learning stages and that was enough.. if you have something like Legos or blocks that the two younger ones can play with in one area while you work with the older two, then switch off, and give the younger two attention while the older two do thier "wook books" or "quiet reading" which can consist of coloring or writing or looking at books quietly. This helped me keep my very active youngest busy while the older two did thier two different levels of work. It also helped me to have a curriculim I could trust to be easy enough for them to work with, like "The BIg Everything book of ___ grade level" or something where I could pull out some pages for them to work on that I knew they could do with a simple explaination. They would do their thing, the second youngest could even get apreschool one! If you have a computer you could do Reader Rabbit for reading class for the 2nd grader too! there are so many things to do! Coloring is fun for younger ages that you have, even the baby! just have things set in a bin that you can pull out for "school time" for each child... then they can have thier school time and you can do it! Also remember time is not important as the fact they are learning! I heard one parent say they video the younger child while the older child is given instruction.. this can also be an encouragement to the older ones to complete the worksheets needed and get to go watch with younger sibs! you have the right idea to pray first! Not everyone is ready to home school when they get the idea to do so.. and I have to admit in all my years of schooling 12 -13 yrs I have prayed many times about quitting but God has not let me yet! HA!
PBS is great. I leave PBS on our TV all day the kids. And I'll read them books and we'll use the book to learn about different things. For example: Alexander and the no good very bad day he wants to move to australia. So we find Australia on the map. is it hot or cold there? Is it NWSE of us? What kind of Animals live there? etc. This method makes it so easy to fit in culture, biology, geography, just about anything. Any book you read to them will give you something to learn about. Whether it be a moral lesson or an educational lesson. You might like Five In a Row.
I'm RIGHT where you are!! I was COMPLETELY fed up with all of this and I didn't know what to do.. Yesterday I spent most of the day in bed sulking. I don't like telling my husband that I'm feeling overwhelmed because he always tells me to "send them back to school" and I DON'T want to!! Anyhow, After crying for hours on end I FINALLY got down to the root of things.. He was not helping me AT ALL. I felt like I was doing everything. I feel bad to tell him I need help when he comes home from work because I know he's tired. But today when my 11 year old SLAPPED and I mean SLAPPED my 4 year old for NO REASON that was IT... I was talking with him on the phone when it happened and I had to get off the phone to take care of it. He called back to see what was going on and said he would take care of it and appologized for not helping me before. So today when he got home the law was laid and now I need to stick with it.. I feel SOooOooO much better knowing that he is on board with me. Things had turned to chaos in the last few months and I had NO idea how to fix it. It was getting to the point that I was dreading getting up the next day.. I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow. Today we didn't school ,instead I went to a friends house. We made cookies with the kids and then they played outside and caught frogs and slugs. I needed that down time. It was so nice UNTIL we got home. but things will be better. I hope the same goes for you. It's really important to have a support system. I'll pray for you.
I forgot to say that,for us, sending them back to school is even more chaos. I have to fight to get the kids to do their homework IF they even bring it home and then chores and the whole bedtime routine.It's just doesn't work for us. This is really so much easier. YES I have the kids with me ALL-THE-TIME but I know exactly what they are doing and I don't have to continue to go to parent/teacher conferences to find out that my kids are hiding their work from me or that they are not doing their homework. It's not the homeschooling that was overwhelming me and even IF I did send them back to school I would still be dealing with the same problems. (((hugs)))
I just wanted to encourage you that if your kids have been in school, then it takes time to learn to be together again. At first it seems impossible, but then it gets easier, and eventually, it is even nice!
