Erica - More (((((((hugs)))))) your way!!! Just a few more thoughts.... It sounds like the homeschooling is just another straw on the overwhelming pile for you. It can be so hard to have so many that are so young. (Been there, done that, got the T-shirt) My advice: 1. Sit down and talk with your husband. Explain everything you have to us. ASK for help if you need it! It takes everyone in the home to make a family. MAKE A LIST of the pros and cons like suggested. You could have hubby help with that and maybe he'll be more onboard with the homeschooling?? 2. Make time to spend with him. If money is too tight to have a "date" night, figure out another way to have time with just him. For us, the cost of a babysitter for all our chickadees was just too much! (Won't ask In-laws unless desperate!) Then add the cost of eating out! So, we just planned that each Saturday when he got home from work he would nap so he could stay up late with me that night. Sometimes we just rented a movie, othertimes we would just build a bonfire in the back yard and sit around it talking. Now that my kids are older we get to do more date nights, but one thing we've added is everyday when he comes home I get 1 hour (=/-) uninterupted with him in our bedroom. We talk about our days and reconnect. 3. Make time for yourself. JUST YOU! Get up an hour earlier or stay up an hour later than the kids. If the little one is making you loose sleep, do as others suggest and take a nap with her while the rest of the kiddos have "quiet time". 4. Find a support group in your area that your kids can play with and you can talk with the other moms! 5. Again, get the kids to help with housework. There are so many things they really can do! Start small. And, just a little secret.....my hubby does all the vacuming in the house. For some reason, ever since I told him how "sexy" he was vacuming...he seems to find the need to vacume the house more often that I did it!!! (snicker)
Very well said. My SIL had a similar experience to you. She sent her oldest back one year, her middle back the next, and now has all 3 in school and she is teaching again. Their family is much happier. Do what's best for your family. Best wishes.
Well dang - I didn't know if I told my husband he was sexy while vacumming...... maybe that's why he spends so much dang time on the tractor... hmmm.... LOL my mistake on that one I think talking it out is huge. BUT I also insist that my husband not try and FIX it like he always does. That's the hardest part for him. Some days you just need to vent and get it out. ALLOW FOR THAT! Last night at the dinner table after a VERY stressful day with the kids (6 hours to do 2 1/2 hours worth of school work!) my husband kept doing little things of walking down to the bus stop and humming the wheels on the bus song. It made us all laugh which was needed for the stress relief. PBS CAN be your friend! So can the computer with stuff like starfall.com etc. Hey if it's a fun computer game some days they have no idea they are learning Some days you need to close the door and say "MOMMY TIME!" Some days you might need to have a beer or martini or glass of wine. Some days ordering in pizza and watching a movie with everyone piled in bed rocks. I have found a "non-strict" schedule is so worth it some days. And others... well dang it laundry needs to be done! My friend gasped at me when I made the comment my kids do their own laundry. I mean a 9 year old can do her own laundry it's NOT rocket science I help her and remind her how to do stuff - but it's not that difficult. Good luck with your decision - I can ramble on and on about pretty much anything (I'm enjoying my "death by chocolate coffee") so I'll shush up now. <but i'm still thinking about telling my husband how sexy he is while cleaning toilets and wondering if it will work!>
Thank you all for your posts. I wanted to give you an update. School has smoothed it self out. We have sort of a routine. But I am coming to the realization that I can't manage my house and HS! I was talking to my cousin about it and we were talking about God's will in all this. My conclusion is that His Will is that I am a godly mom and wife, and I need to figure out what that looks like. One of the things I'm thinking about is that because we are not dealing with moral issuses at school (yet), as in our little school isn't teaching "Sally has two mommies" yet, and I LOVE the teachers my kids would be having, (infact, I have been using the teacher my son would have as a resource) and dh is so annoyed when he comes home and sees the house a wreck because I have to stand over the kids as they do their school work, maybe inorder for me to be the house manager that God wants me to be, I need to put them back in school. Now if we were talking about morality as far as what they are learning or the influeces they have, I would MAKE it work at home, but because it was just a different way to school my children, maybe it is OK to send them back. Talking to my husband about it is pretty much worthless. He thinks I'm nuts for HS and any time we talk about it he says, "I don't even know why you wanted to take it on. I mean I know why but shesh, maybe you need to quit all activites." And that's about all I get. So I don't know... Anyway, thanks! I've enjoyed and learned so much from reading your posts!
Hugs to you, I know it is a difficult discision er decision AAAA! I hate that word! Lol! Anyway, I know there were times in my years that I would have sent them back in a heartbeat, but at this point I am near finished with my years of hsing! I made it through the rain as they say, with my first one going out to HS, he needed it more than I did but I needed to give him space to grow. That one neededit, the second one is being forced to go to our Church school next year, she wants to but is shy. Which is why I want her to go, its done like Home School with a teacher who Home taught his own kids and is the Childrens pastor. They use SOS! If you lived near us I would suggest you looking up this school! THen I will have one child at home, just to be a bit of encouragement, the house fell apart AFTER the oldest went out, I had a system prior to that, and it was kept up, but the one going out threw me off kilter. SO, if you do send them out do not expect it all to fall in line right away expect a bit of time to pass first! Be blessed in whatever you do though! Via con Dias! ( I think I spelled that correctly).
I will tell you - I LOVED the teachers at the school. They didn't teach the "2 mommies" thing at all or any of that. It was what was coming out of other children's mouths and such that was being brought home that the teacher had no control over which shocked me some. My house got cleaned today - they had a friend over and played and I cleaned. Just couldn't take it anymore. My husband has learned to deal with me and what I can and cannot do. He does his own laundry now - because I don't always get to it fast enough for him. It took me awhile to realize I'm not super-mom. Though some kids have nicknamed me that?? It's taken me 2 years to start thinking of planning ahead and actually STICKING TO IT!! Making a week plan works wonders. I have a weekly menu (I cheat and have one emailed to me from menus4moms.com - awesome site) and I have a timed schedule for "classes" and even "mom sits on her butt" time. They are still getting used to it but it does help. I agree you really need to sit down with your husband and explain WHY you WANT to homeschool and figure out what some of HIS worries are which also apply to your house. Believe me - my husband's first response was "what extra time do you have?" since we run a farm full time - and I had to make a decision of what was more important in MY life and that was my kids education right now and spending more time with them and nurturing them and myself. After this birthing season I am cutting back on the animals that take the most work from me because I don't have time to deal with that. Certain times of the years - things change - we can't get as much school done in May as we can in February - it's planting season.....but we can get some done. Go with your heart as well as your head on this one and do what goes well for YOUR Family
