Last night I went to the dollar theater with an old friend. We saw "17 Again" (more on that in a moment). We were early and while we were chatting, I mentioned the fact that I'm disappointed that my MIL is coming to visit the week that my kids will be away at day camp. I've really been looking forward to that time alone (I'll admit--while I love HS'ing and being with my kids, I still haven't gotten used to NEVER having time alone during the week). I'm a freelance writer and planned to use that week to catch up on some projects. So it bugs me that my MIL--who often rubs me the wrong way--is going to be taking up two of those precious days of downtime. My friend has four boys, all in public school, and she said, "Girl, you just need to put those kids in school and be done with it!" I said, "No offense, but no thanks. I like too many things about homeschooling to quit." I talked a bit about how much the flexibility means to me and how it's a better fit for our family than having to schedule life around a school calendar. Then the movie started. So we watch the movie, and there were several high school scenes that I found bothersome. I know it's a movie and not necessarily accurately representative of what life is like in high school these days, but I was appalled by the sex-ed class scene, the skimpy cheerleader costumes, the song they were dancing to, and the heavy sexual references throughout the film. (I know I sound like a prude...there were many elementary-aged kids in the theater and I wanted to go cover their eyes! LOL) It was cool how Zac Ephron's character (as a 30-something dad trapped in a teenager's body) counteracted some of that with sharing an adult's wisdom with the kids, but still. High school looked very different from how I remember it being...not that it was that great in the 1980's! Anyway, when we were talking on the way home, she was telling me that was so much like her oldest's high school experience, and how her youngest two (5th and 1st grade) think it's funny to emulate their older brothers by grabbing themselves, acting like they're grinding against stuff, talking about which girls are "hot", etc. She seemed to accept it as something that's just normal. While I'm sitting there thinking, "My kids and I must live a realllly sheltered life because I can't imagine thinking it's OK for a 6 y.o. to act like that!" I guess there's not really a point to this post, other than to say what I saw scared me if it is representative of what today's teenagers are facing. And it verified how glad I am that my kids aren't immersed in that culture all day long...even if it does mean I rarely get time alone during the day! LOL
Kari.. yes.. sadly the schools ARE that way.. at least many of them are Chalk it up to another reason to homeschool, and keep our kids "sheltered". I remember how bad it was when I was in school, I have been out for 14 years now... and it's worse today than it was then
I am right under the shelter with you! I taught junior high 11 years ago before my oldest was born and when people ask me if I will send my kids to school when they hit junior high (which would be this year) I say, "No way! I taught junior high kids. I know too much to be able to send them to school!" That usually gets surprised reactions. A lot of people see homeschooling elementary as acceptable because it is all fun and games, but assume we'll come to our senses when it comes to secondary ed. And from the talk I hear in our neighborhood, yes, that is exactly what is going on in school. What is the saying about life imitating "art"?
I was appalled when I ran in to a mom who's son has been on my son's teams for sports in the past. She was shaking her head over the stuff going on at the middle school, and said, "It's really sad how many girls have been pregnant there this year." In MIDDLE school! 6th-8th grade!! BOTH of my older sons would have been in that school last year! Excuse me while I go put some concrete blocks around the outside of my shelter.... (Good job on going out to the movies with a friend!!) MT3
I say let them be sheltered. It has never hurt them. It just keeps them out of a LOT of heartache. Let them be kids for a while. I think they learn to be more responsible and sensible. So I guess we are a little sheltered.
I had a girl when I was in the 7th grade get pregnant, but I can't say much since I was 17 when I got pregnant with my oldest dd. I remember earlier this year selling condoms to a kid that looked no more than 13 years old. I just about died, and I didn't want to refuse the sale since he was doing the right thing even if he shouldn't of (in my opinion) been doing those things. I think the highest theft items in our store are condoms, pregnancy tests, make up and over the counter items.
There is a really great book out there that addresses this same issues - I lent mine to a friend and never got it back, so I can't get the author off the top of my head, but the book was called "Saving Childhood" and it was great and really helped me define how I want to raise my kids. I need to get another copy . . .
MamaBear dives under as she is seeking shelter. Come on ladies, gimme a little room here! One thing to keep in mind.............You can't blame everything on the ps system. Your bff was telling you these stories and condoning inappropriate behavior. To me, discipline and morals begin at home. If your bff thinks its okay for her little ones to emulate the older one, well, they will do it, she is responsible for their behavior at home.
I want to know why those who public school take advantage of any opening they can find to tell us to put our children in to public school, yet, despite all the problems we can see them having and their children having, we never say the same to them..that they should just bring their children home and be done with it? It just really gets to me.
I blame both the PS parents and the PS system. See, the school allows it and acts like it is normal so kids who might not ever do it at home do it there, or at least feel like they should. Then the parents at home, many of them encourage it. They see it as something wrong with their children if their children are not acting like the rest. In the 80's, where I grew up, teen pregnancy was common. But where I live now, having sex on school property is common and talking openly about having sex is common. Staff at the schools claim it is normal and it is ok and you cannot possibly expect a teenager to not do it. Some parents say the same thing. In a convo not long ago, I responded with that I am teaching my children purity, and I was laughed at and called delusional by other parents.
That's because the now adults that were raised in that mentality honest believe that it's OK, that you just have to be your child's "friend", that you just need to "discuss" with your kids and they will always make wise decisions. They are now in charge, and things keep getting worse and worse.
I love my shelter. I do allow my kids to have friends...lol...so they know of the outside world sadly enough..lol...but at least I retain the biggest influence during those delicate preteen years. I knew a few girls in junior high who were pregnant. I knew some in high school who got pregnant also and I graduated in 91. Even so I think sex is more of a problem today then ever. Sadly, I also live in a city that claims to have the highest number of teen pregnancies in my state! So, don't think I'll be dropping off my dd at school anytime soon. Not blaming the schools...just trying to keep her mind pure as long as possible.
I am so there with you! I cannot believe half of what I've heard about our Public schools. We live in the country too=you think it would be a bit more sheltered! Last year there was a warning sent home to parents about the rainbow club. Apparently 6th grade YES I SAID 6TH GRADE girls were giving oral sex at "parties" and wearing these rainbow colored bracelets to show that they were a part of this! No thanks, I just talked to my soon to be 7th grader about giving up baby dolls! I will take sheltered any day!:shock::shock::shock:
We are "shelties" too ... I know things were going on when I was in school but nothing like what is going on now. That is one of the main reasons I pulled DD back out of PS ... and they will never go back.
