my kids are totally sheltered, i like to keep it that way! we don't even have a tv, they only watch movies that we (mom and dad) have watched and have agreeed they are ok, sad to say many pg movies i will not let them watch because of the garbage in them. keep them a kids for as long as you can!!!
I feel like instead of hiding the kids, we should be making sure we instill in them what we want them to follow. That's why I'm so vigilant with what Jeanne sees, hears, and is otherwisw exposed to. She might come off green to most, but I'm trying to guard her innocence as long as I can.
green is good, Becky, lol. I too have tried to guard my dc while instilling in them the importance of morals. Last night, my ds7, had his first true realization of death ,as real. He likes this song, thanks to my dh, called the 8th of November, by Big and Rich, it is country. It is about a soldier and war, one of those songs, good, but deep. So last night i heard him in bed singing that song, so i opened the door a tad, and said shhhh, its bed time, and closed the door. well about 5 min later my dd, who shares the room, came and said he was crying and praying. so i go in there, and he is crying, i sit down on his bed, and ask what is wrong, he starts crying even more and says hes not sad, hes so happy, because Jesus saved all the men who died in war and took them to heaven, and then he starts sobbing and hugs me and says "i dont want Uncle Jeremy to die in the war, he is the only army guy i know". now, i did the usual, i cried and we prayed and we thanked God for his protection and i explained that Uncle jeremy was still in the US, he wasnt going to war he was working here now. but my point, my ds, is on the autistic spectrum. he is very bright!! but he is very naive, immature for his age, in a good way, i think. he is very gullible, bc he believes everyone has good intentions and would never lie to him. but, I NEVER THOUGHT HE HAD SUCH DEEP THOUGHTS. I was sad that i hadnt noticed him worrying, and i was sad that he had hit that point, where death is real, and i was happy that he thought to pray when he was upset. so they grow up, and they learn about the world, but thank God we can bring the world to them at their own pace and maturity.
I agree, Becky we should guard them and not hid them. I suppose that's what I mean by a shelter. Or maybe I have the wrong idea of what a shelter is. I am careful with what I allow my kids to see, hear and do. I am careful with who they spend time with. However, my kids are aware of the world out there. My older two know that women can get pregnant outside of marriage (although my son is still mystified it can happen..lol), they know what abortion is and what homosexuality is. They also know much of what's going on in the gvt. and what other religions are about. HOwever, none of this is brought to their attention without my dh's and my careful guidence and infusion of the Word when it comes to these matters. We want them to be exposed while we still have the influence. We don't want our kids to be easily swayed because they never saw the other side of the coin before. I know parents who are so proud because their kids didn't know what a gun was or alcohol or hear a cuss word. A friend of mine was so mad because her son never heard the word *igger and it was used in a history documentary. Yes, maintain their innocence but not to the point they are naive. Did we forget we need to know our enemy? lol. Kids who have no exposure may not have a sharpened discernment or have more of a curiosity about the unknown. I perfer my kids to understand the "unknown" and not be lured by it. So, maybe my shelter has some holes...
Mamaof3peas...yes God allow us to bring the world to our kids at the right age and maturity...yes..exactly.
Kari: I'm with the rest of you on making the shelter bigger. On a separate note, I totally sympathize with your wanting some alone time while your kids are at camp. My two have been at camp this week, and I have been able to get a lot done on a distance learning course that I'm taking. It makes a big difference to have some uninterrupted time, as much as I love having my kiddos around! Carol
I think that when they said "shelter" that's what they meant, at least that's the way I think of sheltering---not just hiding them away, but having the ability and honor to help them learn solid values and be strong people by not having to deal with so much peer pressure and ugliness and evil every.single.day!!! They'll deal with all that soon enough as they grow up and go out into the world. Right now it's good to have them learn what they believe and why, and learn how to be strong, and appreciate learning and being allowed to be themselves, as God made them, not try to conform to some convoluted peer standards!
I have a lot of friends who lived sheltered lives, it's not a pretty sight :/ One is 25 and hasn't ever had a girlfriend (which is nearly impossible at the college he attends), he's also kind of socially inept and can't handle awkward situations at all. Another one went totally nuts in college and is having trouble getting his life on track. Oddly enough I have a friend who used to be an alcoholic in high school (he would bring a water bottle of vodka every day and it'd be gone before third period), do more drugs than I know of, and smoked cigarettes like air. He's now quit all that (well he still gets smashed sometimes) and is graduating from one of the top art schools in the nation. He's also a walking encyclopedia on what's worth and not worth doing and has saved me from countless bad situations.
Yes, this is what I mean by shelter. My children are still exposed to things, but I ensure they are mentally and morally ready for it when it comes.
Yep, that's what I meant by sheltered. I was also referring to how we HS'ers are often accused of "living sheltered lives", which I've never felt is true of how we HS...the kids have friends from all sorts of different backgrounds. I was just emphasizing the point that "sheltering" shouldn't have a negative connotation; that the movie I saw and my friend's comments made me realize that it is a good thing for this Mama's peace of mind. Oh, and through the years I've known this friend, I've talked to her about some of this stuff. (Thankfully she's the kind of person open to dialogue and doesn't get offended.) BUT...her perspective is that if her boys are different and don't act like all the other kids on the block, they're going to get picked on, and she doesn't want that, so...??? She feels like there's nothing she can do about it. (Her DH is really passive, too.) I'm just thankful to be able to let my kids be kids as long as possible. We talk about the difficult issues when they come up, but it's a blessing to not have to expose them to things that they truly aren't ready to handle.
yep, I have had my culture shock of the year too, someone was commenting on how cute two teens where when they were dancingclose enough to have been making out I was shocked and said probably too loudly "I'm glad those are not my teens!" they would never behave like that. Everyone around me was ooing and awing at the cute twosome, so cute, so precious , I was like YIKES< get real! I guess its the norm eh><
It's not about sheltering them it is about teaching them the proper thing to do in those situations. Most parents do not just be glad you are. We don't shelter our daughter from popular media. Why? because we watch tv and listen to popular music. The only thing we can do is make sure she understand the difference between acceptable and not acceptable. My mother was a teen mom so my only goals she set for me were don't get pregnant and graduate highschool. Was a I a horrible teen, not really but I wasn't an angel either. I just have to set the bar higher for my DD then my mother set it for me.
