Such great replies!!! Brooke thats a great idea....however most of the homeschoolers I've met are Christian. So whether you started a group or not, you're generally alone anyways, especially in a small rural community. I think its ridiculous to have to start another group when its suppose to be about education and not religion. But meh.....we deal with it. I'm kinda use to being an outsider. My beliefs, my career choice, my lifestyle etc have always made me an outsider and my decision to homeschool just confirmed to everyone that I was truly a FREAK!!! *laffs*
I've been an outsider my whole life. First woman Park Manager in the DNR, First family to home school in our area, I am conservative, but not of either major party - talk about an outsider! Don't agree with any major denominational church, so am unchurched atm. Sometimes it gets me down. Just like in high school, sometimes I'd like to have a close friend, a bosom buddy, a confidant, someone I can sit and have a cup of tea with without there being an undercurrent of "tightness". But it isn't who I am meant to be. And I have learned that it is mostly because I am me. It's not them. It's me. I have also come to be mostly content with that. I like who I am most of the time. But like you, sometimes I wish it were different. But if it were different I wouldn't be being me. Each of us is special, different, and doesn't fit in somewhere. The fact of the matter is that most home schoolers are conservative Christians. Right now I have a friend who is considering home schooling and I'm hoping I can mentor her, but I know she feels funny because I am a Christian. I hope we can transcend our differences and concentrate on our likenesses. (is that a word?) Wishing you all of the best. Hope you work it out!
it might take a while to find a local group that fits with you. But do what we do........ just wing it, make up your own field trips and adventures.
Friends are gathered from all areas of our lives. Some go, some stay and some touch us more deeply then we thought. Whether we feel like we fit in is irrelevant. Someone has felt that we did. Someone misses us when we are gone.
I also think a lot of the feeling of "fitting in" is how you take what people say. I often disagree with people here and they probably disagree with me. Sometimes I know they do, because of what they post and that is OK with me. Disagreements don't have to mean I don't want to share with them anymore. I like some healthy disagreements sometimes-they help me think outside my own little box. I may not change my mind, but I may understand their point of view. In my local homeschool group, I have met people who school-at-home and some who do relaxed homeschooling and some who do very little schooling at all. I have learned from this. In fact, I have changed some of my ways because of them and things I learn from different forums. So, actually you fit right in here. Some of us are going to disagree with others, but as long as we keep it civil-we can agree to disagree. Now, years ago when I was in school-I thought disagreements automatically meant someone didn't want to associate with me. That is not the case for the most part.
Are you looking for a group with no Christians? Or a group that allows all homeschoolers to participate? I was a little confused since it sounds like you didn't want to interact with Christians. Maybe I misread, or maybe you were assuming they would not want to particpate with you?
I am as far from liberal as they come. We homeschool with all Christian curriculum, thats how we roll. I don't fit in with the majority of homeschoolers in our area either. They are to busy trying to one-up the next person and put down a new homeschooling parent. I think the way someone homeschools is left up to their own convictions. I have a very good friend of mine that homeschools and she uses nothing but secular curriculum. It has made me scratch my head a few times but who am I to judge another. I think any homeschooler should fit regardless of race, religion, or how many kids you do or don't have. We are all after one goal. A good education for our children! I personally didn't want someone else to steal my kids first from me. The sheer idea of someone else hearing my kids recognize a letter or read their first word made me incrediably selfish. I wouldn't have it any other way. Not to mention the school system where I'm at stinks and has been on the bottom of the educational poll for to long to remember. This forum allows us to glean off each other. Get unbelievable support when we've had a bad day. Get unbiased opionions when we need one and good ole friendship in a huge world. This is the first homeschooling forum I have LOVED and don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon. I'll say it again, this homeschool spot is a everybody fits place. I hope you stick around and find your spot on this island we like to call HOMESCHOOLING!
I can relate to an extent, but in a different light. I am a public school mom trapped in a homeschooling mom's body. I have always wanted to homeschool, but the hubby hasn't fully been convinced yet (he is ever so slowing leaning the other way though). In the meantime we continue to send our oldest to school. I get along well with many of the other moms, but when they talk about public school things all I want to do is talk about homeschooling things! lol I'm always afraid to talk about our continued prayers for the 'change' because I know some people may be naysayers (sp?) about homeschooling. So, I just keep my mouth shut. When it comes to other believers, I can also feel your struggle. It took us a LONG time to find a group of others who we could relate to within a church. We are down to Earth you could say. We aren't liberal at all, pretty conservative politically, but we also like to have fun (who doesn't?). My husband loves his beer, and I will be honest and say that I puff on a smoke or two (the LEGAL kind...ha) when we have friend's over for a few drinks. We love all sorts of music (sacred and secular), we love to have fun. We have a wide sense of humor and laugh at a lot of things others might not find funny. We allow our oldest to wear a faux-hawk hairdo and color his hair if he wishes. We love people from all walks of life and for every Christian friend we have, we also have that many non-Christian friends. For us, coming from a previous church filled with more 'stuffy' people, we were SO overjoyed when we found people within our church that shared the same level of being 'down to Earth' as us. I think, for the most part, everyone can share your struggle. Regardless if they show it or not.
Hey, JenPooh, here's my ds14 rockin his hawk (and before that he had hair to his shoulders)...thought you might appreciate it :lol: :
BROOKE...that looks just like Tanner's hair!!!!! Hehe! I love it. Such a handsome young boy you have there. Tanner has always loved the 'skater' look so the 'do' fits him perfectly. The sad part though, is that he looks so much older when his hair is like that. Here he is, although this isn't much of a 'hawk' (this was from the beginning of school)...it's more of a spike on the front...but he likes it. As long as my kid's aren't harming anyone or being disrespectful, I like to give them room to express themselves...as long as it's appropriate. :lol:
I agree with everyone here, Amethyst. I think you are on an island, but we're all on it with you. I love meeting people with different viewpoints than I have, and I think they enjoy meeting me, too. LOL Really though, if you need someone more like you, try starting a group in your area. You can post at the library or the local paper. Maybe there are others wanting a group that isn't just one way, too.
Hi, Everybody. It's me, Amethyst, the original poster. I just wanted to thank you all for your thoughtful replies and private messages. I wish that I could say that things have improved since my original post, but they haven't really. I still am fuming every time we leave the Catholic homeschooling group. I only continue to go because my kids enjoy it. We did find a nonsectarian co-op that we started going to in January. That's going okay, but I'm not really connecting with the other mothers. I've never been big on co-ops. I'd really just like a small group of moms I could have tea with occasionally. I might be starting a book club soon for my girls. I hope I can get enough participants. I'll try not to be too pessimistic. Thanks again for the support, folks!
Hmm, your like me! I am catholic but secular. I use a secular curriculum and my DS reads his children’s bible when he wants too, but I don’t have bible study. I have completely different views on religion than a lot of people here. There are times when I felt attacked on this site because it seemed like I was the only one who had a particular view on a certain subject, But it doesn't matter because one thing we all have in common is that we all want what’s best for our children so we choose to Homeschool. So you do fit in after all. Just look for a secular group to join. In my homeschool group we have all types of religions and everyone respects everyone’s beliefs whether they agree or not. And... when you join a new group there are going to be clicks. Some of them are very clickish. Some of these people have known each other for years. I always just walk up, introduce myself and find someone who seems down to earth. It takes time to find the right group sometimes. It's hit or miss. Keep looking!
You are not the only one! I am a christian yet there have been too many times to count that I have been made to feel "not christian enough" or "not a good enough christian" here at the spot. People talk about it in pms or on facebook but if people who feel like they don't fit it would speak up from time to time when they feel attacked here you would be amazed at how many people feel exactly like you do! The only reason they don't speak up is because of the vibe here. There is a christian section on this board but you can look at almost any post on any section here and there will be talk of prayer or submission or whatever. There are many secular people here that ask for advice and they dont' want to hear "well pray about it" or "be submissive to your husbands wishes". That is when people start to feel like they don't fit in. Ok I'm gettting off my soap box now. Just want you all to speak up! Say what you want to say, say how you feel and be who you are not what you think these ladies think you should be.
I just wanted to say that sometimes it is not intentional that a secular homeschooler would get "Christian" advice to their delima. I know that if I don't know the person well, I will look at their signature to see if they are Christians or not. I have posted on threads where I thought the person was a Christian and found out the hard way they are not. I appreciate being offered grace as much as a non-Christian here, too. I think Christian or not, we can all be quick to get on the defensive. I know in the past I had to learn that lesson myself, but (and you may disagree ) I think I have come a long way in decreasing my prickly response quotient. However, if a person does post on the Christian forum they should expect to get a Biblical answer, whether or not they agree with that poster's doctrine. I know when I post that I will get many different Christian perspectives. If I don't agree, that doesn't mean I'm slamming anyone, it just means we disagree on a few things, just like half the people in my small group. As long as we communicate well and let each other know in love when we are offended, I've found most people here at the Spot to be quick to forgive.
100% my feelings as well. I remember early on asking about a more secular board & approx. 10 people responded that THIS was a secular board minus the "christian" section. Um,no. I appreciate your honesty & willingness to step up Tiffany. It's not always easy to voice your opinion when so many try to make you feel low because of how you feel. I don't mean necessarily here, just life in general.
Brooke the thing is this isn't supposed to be a "christian" forum. We have a christian section and of course when anyone posts in that section a christian response/perspective is expected, and rightly so. What I am talking about it when someone posts in the "other topics" section and they get the "just pray about it and trust God" response. Or when someone is contemplating homeschooling and the responses range from "well what does your husband say because he needs to be the one that makes that decision" or "pray about it and see what God says". Things like that will make a non christian want to run away.
Thanks. I just happen to know for a fact (because people tell me) how uncomfortable many people feel posting their real feelings on topics here for fear of being attacked so they don't say anything at all. I think that is crap. Each and everyone of us is entitled to their opinion. We do not always have to agree. It is ok to feel differently on a subject, it doesn't mean it has to be WWIII.
