I haven't read anything else, but I just wanted to tell you about my friend who can't listen in groups. There is something up with the way his ears and his brain work. He can hear fine, but he can't seem to put the things together when there are more then 3 people or a lot of background noise. He is normal in all other ways ( we would laugh to call him normal he is a fun guy) . I don't know you would test for it, but I would start with ears.
I just wanted to give you my support about having your suspicions looked into...and also add I don't think you homeschooling him has anything at all to do with the issues you are seeing. Our ds 6 has adhd. We pretty much have know there was something different since he was about 2 and I've been sharing my concerns with my ped who always blew me off and said not to compare my older daughter to my son. Well...I had so much anxiety about ds going to K this year but he's got a Feb bday and academically was ready so against my best judgement I sent him (prior he had 2 years of preschool). It was an absolute nightmare. The teacher targeted him from day 1 and just made his life and mine miserable. To make a long story short I ended up pulling him out of ps and found a great private school for him. His teacher has been fantastic. She's so patient and has been soooo great since we've been on this adhd roller coaster. I had him evaluated in dec. He was 5 at the time. The psychologist warned me that it is very difficult to diagnose a 5 year old(most of the time kids are 7 unless the case is obvious and in our case it was) and I let him know that I didn't come to this decision lightly. I needed to help my son. He was asking me to come to school with him to help him sit in his seat, to follow directions...basically to be the good boy he wanted to be but he just couldn't be because he couldn't help himself. It was hard to watch him go through it. Since doing so much research and getting the diagnosis we have been able to help him immensley. He's seen a psychologist, a behavior therapist (which he doesn't need because he doesn't have behavior problems), and now a psychiatrist. ALL agree that getting this treated early was the best thing I could do for him. We wanted to spare him the social complications and stigmas that he was already experiencing in school because he was so different from the other kids. Like you said about the kids yelling at him during the kickball game that's what we experienced during many activities with him. Anyway...my whole point in this is to say if you feel like there is a problem you'd like to have evaluated...don't wait just do it! It will only help your ds in the long run. Socially kids can be so mean and its very hard to watch your child go through all of that. We are constantly working with our ds about being a good friend and what it means to be a good friend (adhd kids are very self centered and like to dominate play so he has had to learn about playing what other kids are playing). It has paid off because he is now included by the neighbor kids and has been able to start playing with the kids in gym class instead of playing off on his own. Next year I will be homeschooling him because it doesn't appear we will be able to swing the cost of full day private school (we don't belong to this church). I am sad but this is the best option. My ds does much better in small groups and one on one settings. I had wanted to mainstream him back to ps this year but I have too much anxiety and learned from last year that its not worth it if I don't feel its right for him (dd goes there with no issues). Good luck. I hope this helps you some. When I read your post I wanted to commend you for keeping your son home when you knew he probably wouldn't do as well in ps. One day maybe...but always trust your instincts. I know I wish I had trusted mine however it was all for the greater good...we now know what we suspected for years and are better equipped to help ds. That's the best part of it all Edit to add: In all my research there are sooo many things that can make a child have a hard time processing info to where they are distracted, not following directions, etc. We went through a huge battery of testing before getting the diagnosis (stared beg of Dec got diagnosed after christmas after 3 weeks of testing). Although my son had some of the symptoms you mention (he hates loud noises for instance and is a super picky eater) he was CLEARLY adhd...he's so hyper and impulsive that it drives him to distraction LOL. I read a ton about the sensory disorder but my son just didn't fit enough criteria for that...but I'd definitely look into something like that in your son's case...alot of what your saying I remember reading about under that disorder.
Thanks Angie01- Shelley mentioned auditory processing disorder. I think that's what you mean. Jsmom- Thanks so much for that. I completely hear you on the pediatricians. One of our old ones actually gave me a parenting book and then told me he wasn't going to give me a magic pill to fix things. I never once mentioned medication, just asked for advice. I think everyone is right that ps would probably do more harm that good. My husband is the one who mentions after really hard days how maybe he should go to public school, so it gets into my head when I'm stressed. He had a good experience and I had a really bad experience, so I know how cruel some kids can be, especially when you don't fit in. His annual check up is next week, so hopefully we can start figuring things out soon. Btw, he also can be very active and bouncing off the walls at time. One of the things I love about homeschooling is that he can stand next to me hopping from foot to foot, or putting together legos, all while listening to me and he won't get in trouble for it. I hope you have a great first homeschooling year together!
My ped is great but he just isn't a big 'believer' if you will of adhd he blames it more on the schools and their unwillingness to work with more difficult children. If you would have asked me a few years ago or even before I had kids if I would have ever consider homeschooling I would have told you 'absolutely not'. I do believe there are many benefits to traditional school. My dd excels in ps, and I have no plans to remove her no matter how much I may enjoy teaching my son at home. BUT that being said after going through what I went through in the beginning of the year with my son, I now look at each child's situation differently. What may be a good fit for one may not be for another. I do hope at some point I can transition my son back to ps. He wants to go next year but I just can't do it...he's just still too immature at this point to go back. I'm thinking he'll either be with me or in his private school until middle school or possibly high school. He'll definitely go back in high school for sure. Please keep us updated. I do hope you are able to pinpoint what may be causing his difficulties and be able to find out ways to help him
You might also want to check out Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit In- When to Worry and When Not to Worry and The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder. My daughters are both autistic, but these books cover a lot more than "just" autism. We found them both extremely helpful.
