I would like to hug you and find the answer to your problem. I don't like the idea of a boarding school usually, but maybe the right one in these extreme circumstances would work. I would just be careful that they let you visit just about any time you want and that they have a good open door policy. If you choose that route, make sure he knows that it is not because you want to get him out of your life, but that you want him to be able to live a more peaceful life and learn life skills that will make coming home much better. I have heard that exposure to violence can influence kids at a young age (you probably already know that), so why don't the doctors see that? It is a mystery that sometimes the doctors want to give advice when they don't know all the answers. Who cares if the school cannot validate what is going on? Surely they can think of a way to evaluate the situation --maybe a home observation?
Ready to Throw in the Towel Another great book on parenting is "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Ted Tripp.
Oh, Sommer, I have a child just like your dear son. My heart goes out to you, there is nothing more heart wrenching than going through something like this. First off know you have NOT done anything wrong! I mean it! Let that go. It took many therapist, Doctors, and medication to help here. We would have tantrums to the point of almost hospitalization. Completely and totally horrible and scary! Incredibly long story short is that it was a combination of a mood disorder, ADHD, and ODD. Once I found the correct Dr's to listen to us and medicate my child did it get better. It was a long haul, there wasn't a "magic" pill. It was about a year of trial and error. I also purchased the total transformation which I guess would help but in our case not so. If you would like I will send it to you. The most I wanted to say is I completely understand, and you aren't a bad parent, you didn't do anything wrong. (((HUGS))) Been there, and still traveling through it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Public school may be just what he needs. I know that my son needed to go. He totally and completely came unglued. Not till that point would he have listened to me with homeschooling and it would have been a huge fight. Now he is completely grateful and with medication he is much better. I have to say, you have been on my heart and in my prayers and now I know why. Don't get depressed he needs you to help find the "cure" You are his best advocate and I know in my heart you won't give up until its all taken care of. Public school is not a set back, it will catapult you to where you need to be. Heck, if he comes home this year between the two of us we can still set his year up
Wow.. this tread is old.. but you know what Garrett still behaves the same way. Life is much easier on the rest of us now since he is back in public school though. But now with the flooding who knows what will happen school wise.
The rain stopped, some areas got another 2 inches over night, I don't know just what we got, I don't think 2", the river hasn't come up any more, it has gone down about 3 foot since yesterday I'm told. I haven't gone to the cliff to look out yet today. Heading there in a bit I think.. but moving slowly today. The devistation is horrible, areas that have NEVER flooded are completely under. Our fair that is supposed to start in just 16 days is under 10 feet of water still. So many people have lost everything... the middle school where Garrett goes was under water to at least the 2nd floor. The levee gave way there... it should have been safe so they lost everything pretty much I'm sure... books, computers, musical instruments, machine shop and home ec rooms.. Garrett locker is on the first floor, so we know he lost his $25 binder along with a huge list of supplies they were told they needed that he had in there. It's crazy... and I think the worst part is I've had to put up with him for 3 days now and who knows when they will have them going back. Now they do have 3 empty buildings in the district right now, they just built a brand new primary school (k-2) and combined these 3 buildings into 1.. rumor says they will use one of the empty elem. schools.. but they took all the desks and such and well can you see a 6th 7th or 8th grader sitting in a desk made for a 1st grader anyway? It will for sure be interesting what happens. I thought of bringing him back home, but I know I can not do that to the other kids or myself. He won't be the only kid without school books for a while I guess.
do you think they can salvage some big desks from the middle school? And to make ithomeschool related do you find it harder to do Riley and Reagan schooling with garret being home?
Maybe I could add a couple of thoughts: 1) Each of us is dealt a different hand when it comes to genetics. There's no doubt in my mind that every sinful tendency is rooted in our genes. We can choose to yield to them, or we can, by God's grace, learn to overcome them. In other words, there's a clear reason why your son acts this way; it has nothing to do with you or a failure on anyone's part. 2) How to overcome it? In my limited experience, I'd say that boys need a strong and frequently present male role model. At PS, I get so frustrated that there are so few male teachers and that boys are expected to learn as if they are girls. At home, I was very involved in teaching our sons and, despite constant travel, did my best to be very involved in their education. Try as hard as you might, there are times when you won't be able to cope; he needs a man there. Sometimes, I achieved that by taking our son to work with me. 3) For our oldest son, who was the most rebellious during homeschool years, he needed a LOT of exercise. Indeed, there was a clear correlation between his behavior and how often he was outside running around. It may be a biological thing - experiencing more hours of direct sunlight. You may want to incorporate more outdoor activities and consider more outdoor field trips. We used to get our son to run around a lot by turning it into a competition of some sort: He couldn't bear losing a contest or resisting a challenge. As a word of encouragement, our oldest son could be a real devil as a child. Today, he is the most wonderful young man, and we're very proud of him. He's a nurse, and that clearly is his calling. During the rebellious years, we sometimes threw up our hands in despair. Be aware, though, that there is light at the end of the tunnel - and it's not a train coming the other way.
Steve.. you hit a lot of nails right on the head! Tmom... I'm not sure what they will be able to salvage.. there is so much raw sewege, heating oil, fuel of other types, just down right garbage, etc in the water that everything will have to be scrubbed and disi0nfected. Then there will be problems with the hidden water in things (hollow chair legs, inside of wood stuff) that will cause horrible mold spores. The schools library got completely covered, so there goes all those books, I'm not sure how you would make a book useable again after it sat submerged in mud. All the computers, those fancy new smart boards... just so much is gone.
