There was another post on here that basically describes my 12 yo to a tee. He wasn't interested in anything school at all. And Yes he too would hide his supplies and spend half a day or more looking for them. We've tried several different curriculums with with and they would work great at first then ugh! I homeschooled him for 4 yrs. This last school year he went to public school for 5 classes and took and did a parent partnership program for 1. Well He's flunked most of his classes except the PPP class and PE. This next school year I will be doing k/1st with my 2 other kids and even though I want to homeschool my oldest I am so worried about how it will be since in the past it didn't work too well. The public school wants to hold him back in 6th grade which is actually fine with me but They won't support it unless he goes 7 classes. Not what my oldest wants at all. I want to keep him home but then again I don't. Help! I really don't know what to do about him. He's taking 3 classes that are resource classes and flunking them. It is a frustration to me.
It sounds like home might be the best place for him (even if he's less than enthusiastic). The school hasn't exactly done well if he's failing. Their answer seems to be to overload him even more next year (which sounds like a plan for making him feel more like a failure). Obviously, this is my interpretation based upon one post and I don't know your son...... Hopefully some of the "vets" on the board can offer more specific advice (my oldest is just starting 5th grade). Hang in there!
This may seem a little radical but what about homeschooling him but forgetting about the currciculum? Unschooling sounds like it might be a good option. Let him explore his interests in his own way, maybe get involved in some community groups, etc. Frankly, it sounds like the formal schooling and curriculum are doing nothing anyway so why not give it a shot? There's nothing to lose!
I dont know what I'd do in your situation. I "think" I'd pull him out of school and homeschool him... it's going to be tough homeschooling k/1st with 2 kids anyways, and to add him to the mix will definitely increase your workload. Maybe have a heart to heart with your ds. See what he says/thinks. Whats going on in school? Tell him your fears/doubts... maybe a good heart to heart is in order?
Maybe do the younger 2 first thing (if they're more alert in the AM)....while the oldest does his own thing (read, etc.). Then once you know the younger 2 are done...move onto the oldest. I know my K-er this year was done with "formal" things in 30-45 mins tops (broken up into about 3 segments due to his wiggly nature). So even with 2 youngers, the basics could potentially be done in 1-2 hours. Science and history can be done whenever (or down the road once you have a good thing working). We aren't unschoolers as some one mentioned earlier as a suggestion but a good friend of mine is...here's a site she often sends to folks. They don't follow the parenting part but the schooling aspects of the site. http://www.joyfullyrejoycing.com/unschooling/unschoolingphilosophy.html I recently read The Unschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith and it is a great book (even for those of us not unschooling but just want to add more "life" to school). Any book by John Holt (the father of unschooling) has been recommended to me....I just bought one but I haven't read it yet. I should add I'm a Homeschool book junkie these days and enjoy reading about all the styles even though we're very eclectic ourselves. Honestly, unschooling for at least a bit...might help him detox from the bad school experience.
I was distracted in my post earlier.... I was eventually going to add that maybe when your talking with him, you both can figure out a way for your ds to be more responsible for his own learning. Maybe put together a weekly schedule that he can work on himself for the most part? He could do these things while your schooling the younger kids. Then when your finished with the little ones you can go over what your ds was working on, followed by other subjects like math and language.
Well add to the mix that He's ADD and I'm a full time college student. Luckily for me my college is online but it's still a lot of work. We've thought about the unschooling method but hubby insists that there be a curriculum for math and english. Other than those 2 subjects he likes the idea of our 12 yo doing his own thing as long as he does a project/paper something to show what he's learned. There are days I want to and then I remember the past and go yikes do i really want to do this. I do know he does learn more at home. My youngest is a morning person. The older 2 aren't. They love sleeping in. Because of my 12 yo being ADD, He has to have a set schedule. When he gets up goes to bed etc. That's hard for me to do because I'm not a schedule type person. The other thing we figured would be 12yo could help teach the younger 2 when he does his science. Make it fun for all. It's just frustrating trying to decide what to do and what is the best for him. There is a homeschool group in my town finally that has weekly activities/classes. He wants to go to that.
Deena, DaLynn and I can all recommend Rod & Staff for English. It's a no-frill curriculum. Depending on what he's had in the past, you might order a year or two lower....Deena can comment on that. Treating it as levels works well for them because it does assume that you've done the previous years and so it builds. It's inexpensive and thorough for grammar. You might also consider Teaching Textbooks for math. It's pricey compared to some but self-paced and doesn't require parental hand-holding They have placement tests at their website.www.teachingtextbooks.com. Sounds like a great plan for him to help "teach" your younger 2 science.
I was thinking why not make a list of what he needs to learn and look for what he likes to work with in those areas. I have had to find the right way to teach each of my children.. one learns easily, one fights it, and one changes from day to day! What fun ! I know that if I give one reading work , it works but the othe rone if I say read this and answer the questions it will cause problems. So I work the lessons around what thier learning styles are. I would take him and home school him too.... I understand the stress part, my ds 16 was talking homeschooling next year and I said I Cant do it! But instead I prayed cause thats how I solve my worries. God took care of it! But thats just MY way of doing things. I would suggest researching whatyou will need to do, and find things like the video Math courses and such so you are only doing part of it yourself, with thehelp of video teachers! who knows He may decide he likes to learn this way?
Thank you everyone for your replies. It has been a lot of help. I have discussed this with hubby to no end. He has figured that our youngest can go to preschool another year since he's still in need of the speech therapy. (special ed preschool) He would go 4 days a week and have speech 3 times a week. The rest of the time he'd be in an classroom with other kids with varying disiabilities. He loved it this year. My older 2 will be homeschooled. work on actual school stuff on the days youngest is in preschool and have free day when youngest isn't. It should work I hope. I still worry but I have to take it day by day and go from there.
I had many of the same behavior patterns you described with your student, but did not quite fail the classes. If I was in school today I would likley have been classified as add and dyslexic. If you have not already, I would consider getting your student tested by a phychologist or another type of professionan who is trained to evaluate leaning differences etc. There are some who will keep this private if paid cash, that is give you results with no social security number associated and no reporting to insurance record data bases. In this way you have no potential career choice altering records should this all turn out to be a phase that passes with maturity. If you student has learning differences/disabilities now is the time to start figuring out how they impact him or her and begin teaching and developing useful coping mechanisms. If he has a problem now it will likely be there to some degree throughout life. Learning how to maximize potential in difficult areas now instead of after years of struggle later will make all the difference in the world. Career aptitude testing might also be something to consider in the future. This might give insight into areas of strength and interest so educational activities and exploration could be directed accordingly. Being ADD means that there will need to be emphasis on personal management. Lists and schedules, and project planning are great techinques to exeriment with until a match is found. I greately resisted such as I views these weaknesses as personal failure and was stubbornly determined to do conquer it on my own. This meant repeated failures, and the negative impacts that this has on a person, especially a pre-teen. I would drive home ideas like everyone has physical differences and it is okay. Things like diabetes are no different, just affecting different systems. ADD is a physical difference in brain chemistry, or brain design with both positive and negative side effects. We don't all have to do the same things in life, and we dont all have to do them the same way. Success has many forms, and having a good attitude, honest character and good work ethic are the keys, not being educated in a specific manner.
