My DD is refusing to do any math this year. Her thought....that's why they made caculators. She won't play math games like monolopy unless it is the ones with the credit card. I keep telling her that she can not use one on state exams, she just laughs at me and says "well eventually everyone will be able to" which is probably true. But I truly believe basic math skills (or everyday life skills) are necessary. Has anyone else gone through this with their child(ren)? I even try to have her do rounding when we food shop. Her smart aleck comment is "hand me your cellphone" Anyone have any ideas? curriculums? ANYTHING???
my first thought was that this sounded very "tween attitude" and therefore a discipline issue. but then the longer I thought about it, the more it sounded like maybe she is very unsure of her abilities and I wonder if maybe she doesn't need some review of basic skills. If she can't round off, then try reviewing it. You may need to go back a couple of levels to see where she is weak. If it's a matter of her just not wanting to do the work, then maybe some consequences are in order.
You could remind her that there are state requirements to do and there needs to be proof of them. Tell her you will not lie about it and it is part of having grown up responsibility. Also I would look for practical applications. You still need an understanding of the basics to know how and where to apply the math. Money is a good example. Factoring averages for business applications. Ask her if she wants to slave for someone else her whole life or if she wants to be independent and successful. Take it back to the basics if you need to. Let her know you need to see that she has the understanding of various math applications. That you will use it as proof for the state requirements. Then when it all boils down. She is the child, you are the parent. We can't be best friends with them. Give her consequences for not completing her work as required. Only you will know how best to apply that. ME, I believe in giving a child choices. What I need them to do, and what I know they absolutely, positively, definately don't want to do. (Only when it's for the betterment of them.)
I think it is more the "tween attitude" if you believe they are smart aleck remarks. In that case, remove the word "try" from your vocabulary when it comes to what you expect from her, especially if this seems to be problematic in other areas of your relationship with her. As ForTheSon stated, you are the parent. If you need some creative solutions, I like Love and Logic. You might want to get some ideas ahead of time so that you are ready with a response before she refuses to do the work the next time. One idea might be to impose a "disaster mode" in the home since she is vocalizing that she only wants to do things in a practical sense (she doesn't want to do it if she will never need to do it). In the event of a disaster, you would not have access to electronics or electricity. Lights out, no TV, no cell phones, calculators, etc. for her to use at all. She can choose to live by those standards until she learns to do her math without complaint. After all, a disaster really can occur, so she should have no complaints about being prepared for one. Whatever you decide to do, the most important part is to follow through with what you say will happen. Even if all you decide to do is make sure math is complete before she gets her next meal, be prepared to follow through with it. I had one a bit like that myself, and it didn't take long for him to comply.
It could be attitude alone and it could be lack of confidence or it could be both. If a child lacks confidence, one technique to dealing with it can be avoidance. She may be avoiding it and using an attitude to do so. Whatever the issue is-it has to be dealt with. If it is a combination. I have some advice from personal experience. My son does the same type of thing. If he is frustrated and feeling like he is failing or not doing good in his endeavors--the attitude pops up. I explained to him that while his feelings are valid--he still has to control the way he treats people. If he chooses to treat people wrong- there are consequences. The other part of my advice is to NOT put undo expectations on your child. IF they really struggle, back it up. I advise this to anyone no matter how old the child is and no matter where they should be according to the world. My son is in high school and math is "way behind", but I honestly have NO problem with it at all. He is learning and he is progressing and that is all I want from him.
My suggestion. Discipline. And all the other suggestions already listed. I have a 6th Grader - girl - and that is just not an attitude tolerated. She wouldn't act that way towards another adult, so she best not act that way for ME.
I want to add one thought. She would not be allowed to voice herself this way and avoid doing the work in PS. No options! Explain you can be a little more lenient toward the work, BUT she will have to do some to have on hand. This way you have it as proof for you state guidelines. Just a thought, as I said.
I'm also a discipline person. If you don't want to do it now, that's fine. You can go up to your room and sit there all day. No TV, no books, no nothing. If you want to sit there all day, cool. Oh, you have plans for tonight? Uh, no. You'll be sitting in your room. Oh, you finally decided to finish it after an hour of sitting? Good! That means you owe me an hour of your "free time" later....
First time I pulled something like that on Rachael, I told her she could do her paper "tonight at 6:00." She thought that was GREAT...until she remembered and said, "But I have soccer practice at 6!" Oh, REALLY? Then I guess you'll need to give Coach a call and explain to him why you won't be there tonight...." And would you believe she got it done in record time, lol! :lol:
The ironic thing is that the day after I replied, my son had a melt down over math. I recognized it and I even explained to him what I think was causing it. I told him, when it gets hard he shuts down and one way to avoid it is to cause a fuss. He became very sarcastic and ugly in his attitude and suffered some consequences. Then later he apologized (but still had the consequences) and a little while after that he did the math and seemed to "get" it. I have told him that if he doesn't understand something we will work on it for a while or back up if needed. I think this is very important that he knows I am not pushing him beyond his abilities.
I tend to think a lot of the attitude is age-related. That doesn't make it ok, necessarily, but it does mean it isn't your fault and it's a sign she's growing up. Now my dd is reading-phobic because of ps. Because of that, and after I realized just how BAD her fear is, we talked about it and I said we were backing off until she feels she's ready (and I have backed off, but I'm still giving her instructions.. just not requiring she show me she knows it). Yesterday, she didn't want to do her math problems and it was pretty obvious to me she thought MAYBE she could get me to put that away as well (she'd be happy just doing art projects all day long). The day before, I'd let her do half of them over the same issue, and called it good. But this was day 2 on the same set.. no way. I was mean teacher mom, and left her sitting at the table crying for a few minutes. Then she got down to work, finished up the last few easily, and we moved on. Later I told her I was proud of her for sticking with it. My son will do something similar with his ps homework- first he'll refuse, then he'll agree but have a breakdown. Then he'll chill out and get it done. I do want my kids to have fun learning, but the truth is that I feel life isn't always a bowl of cherries. Sometimes we have to do things that are hard or that we hate or that are dirty just BECAUSE they need doing. For me, that sometimes includes schoolwork. Sure, I want it to be fun as well, but it can't always be fun. That teaches a lesson in perserverence that I think is just as valuable as the other 5 math problems.
Thanks everyone. She loves to do all her other work just not math. It's the only time the attitude pops up. It is not allowed here. She lost horse back riding lessons for this month for her little comment(guess I should have mentioned that earlier). I know she is getting it because she asked how old her nana was and I said "well she was born in such such year and it's 2010 so how old do you think she is" and she got it right. But she seems to only understand it if you put in a form like that. if you straight out ask her 5x9, she just stops and stares at you for a while but if you say I have 45 pieces of candy that need to be divided into 9 bags she can sputter off 5 no problem. It makes it really hard because I really don't know where she is at. And I am just really worried at testing time that she is just not going to get it because it is in basic math form. She can't do it on paper either, that really confuses her. I had thought for the longest time that she was seeing the numbers backwards but she could read them off in the right order. Just not sure what to do. I gave her a check register with fake money to keep track of and how to write checks and deduct and add to the register. I am trying to do more hands on but I am not very good at it. I am hoping to at least get her to learn the basic survival math skills for now. who knows maybe the rest will come
