A friend posted this on FB. It has some good advice, no matter how many years you've been hs'ing! http://homeschoolusa.com/homeschoolings-dirty-little-secret/
Jackie, that is one of the reason we don't do groups they are always competing with one kid over another and that is why I didn't put my girls in ps. I think alot of homeschool groups are bad. I been to several in all the time we travel in different states and they are all the same thing. Who kids is doing what. They have the smartess kid. I think we all have wonderful people. God made us different and special..
Actually, the ones I've been in have been good. I've been told straight out that what is PERFECT for one family would be DISASTER for the other, and that you need to pick and chose what to take part in. And that all children have strengths and weaknesses, and to encourage each and every one.
I read that the other day too on facebook. It is a bit extreme, but I'm sure there are times when it feels that way in some groups. Thankfully ours is a good one. Yes, we've had some bumps in the road, but we all do in life, don't we? We have to figure out what works at one point and change when that no longer works.
LOL!! Hope the kid kept his spleen. :lol: So far *knock on wood*, my HS group also hasn't been like that. It's a fairly new group though, so we shall see....
Actually, I didn't see this as so much a comment on HS groups. I think I very easily get looking at what others do, and wonder why MY kids aren't doing that, too.... It's not so much other moms bragging, but me taking their honest pride in their child's work. For example, Rachael is taking Calculus this year as a Junior. When I mention that, it's not a brag, and it's not looking down on someone else's kid for NOT doing that. And believe me, Faythe will be lucky to get through Algebra 1 by that age, lol, because she and her sister are so different! But Faythe has other things she does well, and shouldn't be compared to her sister. What I'm saying (rather poorly, I'm afraid!) is that this article is to US, that we shoudn't feel pressure when we see what others' children are doing or are involved in or are acomplishing. And for me, that pressure is from WITHIN, not from other moms trying to "one-up". Does that make sense?
Yes. It makes perfect sense. I hate the one-up game. There are things both of my kids are great at and both of them are terrible at... and they don't match each other either. LOL! Why should they match anyone else's kids?
When Rachael was little, she came home one day complaining, "Alyssa (best friend) says she can dance better than me!" Well, I told her, that was probably true. Rachael got upset with me, because her own mother wasn't taking her side. I explained that Alyssa took dance classes, something Rachael never had, so there was a very good chance she was the better dancer. Then we talked about how you can't be "best" at everything, and that it was OK (even a good thing!) to admit others were better in certain areas. We talked about how it made others feel if you were always thinking you had to be the "best" at everything.
Jackie, I think that is great! I tell Ems the same thing. She has a friend who is a FABULOUS swimmer. She can swim across the pool like a speed boat. On the other hand, my precious Ems is like a brick in water! LOL It takes a lot of effort to stay afloat; to finally swim to the other end of the pool.:lol: Ems has mentioned that her friend talks about how she can swim across the pool in so many seconds. I told her that it WAS true. SHE CAN! BUT!!!! I also told Ems that at this time, none of her friends can hold a candle to her when it comes to music or playing the piano. Ems can play and write music like nobody I know. I am honestly in aww at the gift God gave her for music. Then she gets a smile on her face and says she will remember to mention this to her friend next time they play the piano together. YIKES! She is joking of course! I hope!!!
I struggle against the whole "your homeschooling so your children must be geniuses." or at the very least "ahead". I get it from dh too. ugh. remember when I started, it was because we were thisclose to failing? remember that?
I feel that way sometimes too. I'm happy if my kids are close to average academically. My dd is better at LA & spelling & hates math. My ds is better at math and has horrid handwriting. I'm much more concerned with their heart & character.
I think that it does happen, but it also depends on how we interpret it. Some people are going to JUST point out the good things their kids do, but do they ever talk about the disappointments they have. I am sure it happens in their house also, they just want to paint a pretty picture. (or I haven't met this perfect family) I can feel guilty that my son did not grow up learning Latin, or I can feel bad that I have been all over the place with homeschooling, sometimes switching curriculum in the middle of a year. I can feel that I don't do anything right and everyone else has it together. The truth is--it is a journey and there is just as much for us to learn as there is for our children. I have learned to not feel as bad. I have also learned NOT to talk to certain people about my more relaxed way of wanting to homeschool. I am also learning not to expect everyone to agree with my philosophies (even though I am right, aren't I--lol)
