Hello everyone. I'm excited to be hsing this year....I have the curriculum bought, lesson plans (loosely) written, am ready to be spontaneuos & flexible, planning fields trips & all. The kids are excited, too. They've leafed through their books & want to start now!! However, besides my husband, most everyone is 'disappointed' that I am hsing. I get comments like, "They need to learn how to deal with people and situations sometime! You better let them do it now rather than throwing them to the wolves at 18!" My only answer was that I am doing it in obedience to God. What do you say to something like that?? :?: I am at a loss for words.....it disturbs me that raising Godly children is not a priority in our society, not even on the bottom of the list. I have one chance to raise my 3 precious children and have to do the best I possibly can. I welcome any advice you have to offer on how you handle negative comments/attitudes. Thanks!
Angie, you have the perfect answer. You're doing it in obedience to God. If the problems are coming from family, you husband needs to step in. He needs to tell them that, as head of his household, he is responsible for leading the family as God would have him. He needs to tell them it is NOT open to discussion. If they have a problem with it, they are more than welcome to present their objections to God. If they start in with you out of his pressence, you tell them it's not for discussion; if they've got a problem, to bring it up to the head of your household. They are also not permitted to bad-mouth the decision in front of the kids. ("Too bad you don't go to school! Then you'd have more friends...." or other such comments.) Non-family comments you can just ignore. If they're friends, you need to decide if the comments are being made in love. If so, you can explain your position and move on. It may be one of those "agree to disagree" areas. But if they can't and continue to argue with it, you might want to reevaluate the friendship. Strangers you just smile at and say, "Thank you for your input! I will discuss your comments with my husband." Then later you can discuss with him what the ignorant lady at the store had the nerve to say today, lol! And besides, you've got all of us who understand EXACTLY why you've made the decisions you did! WE stand by you!!! WE know you're not some freak! And WE know the results are WELL WORTH IT!!!
Amen!!! Angie...if you know this is where God has guided you, you have nothing to fear or worry about...even when others don't understand what you are doing. God loves your kids even more than you do, and that would be enough for me! In time, the kids pogress will show everyone why you are doing what you are doing! Stay strong and have a great year hsing!
I had quite a few negative comments when we started, especially from dh's side of the family. My SIL is a ps teacher. After the first year they saw how happy and well-adjusted the dc were and no further comments have been made - well, except for praises. Just hang in there and try not to let the comments discourage you. As popular as hsing is there are still many who just don't understand how it works. Once they see it up close and personal they usually change their minds.
I strongly agree with what has been said. When I first started homeschooling every person on my husband's side called me up to convince me that it was wrong. After school started they would call to see how she was doing, if she was lacking anything. My husband had to call them and tell them to back off, in love, because this was the choice we have made for our daughter. My in-laws moved in with us for a few months and finally started to understand what homeschooling was all about. For the most part, most of the family understands and have come to agree with it. My in-laws went back home and now send Emma supplies during the year to help out. She calls them to share the new poems she has memorized or to share a test score. I think this helps them feel part of it and in turn has helped them come to know homeschooling better. What a blessing to be able to open the world of homeschooling to your family and friends. I'm proud of you!!! God bless.
You had a great answer.. We all have to face it eventually anyhow. I got the whole family intervention (They get my Grandfather as the head of the family to 'talk' to me) last week too. I explained to him the reasons I am HSing her and he said "Well you'll put her in HighSchool then" uhhh no. My Aunt keeps telling me I have it wrong and that it's really against the law because I didn't complete my college degree and am not having her tested (NM dosn't require that stuff). What it boils down to is that we chose whats best for our kids and they will just have to get used to it .
Oh, Syele, it must be especially hard on you as a single parent! I can just hear them, "But you need a BREAK from her! You can't do this 24/7!!! And she needs male influences in her life....", etc., etc. I do get asked about highschool. And I tell them that we are taking it "one year at a time. We'll deal with that when we get there." Of course, we have every intention of going all the way through. And since Rachael is now 12, the grandparents are slowly beginning to realize that. I was telling my dad about Apologia Science, and how she will have the opportunity to do a Biology Lab with friends. He commented that he was "relieved" to hear it, because it was a concern and he didn't want to butt in and say anything, lol!
Thanks for the feedback. I found some encouraging articles on home-school.com, also. I guess I am more concerned about how people's comments will affect my children, esp. by people at church. But isn't that all part of helping them 'deal with' the 'reality' out there? LOL Thanks for encouraging me. I really needed it. Feelin better here in Ohio. Thank the Lord!!!
Wow, I guess I handle it the same way most of you do, I tell them the schools here are not good enough, that God called us to school, or it's our only choice. Re Highschool, I always thought I would be homeschooling through to College. But when in-laws got to stirring up my son he decided he wanted to go out to school. ( s-i-l is a public school highschool teacher as well, and a good one I might add!) So I used to say, private school would be nice for highschool if I had to send them out, and they offered to pay half lol... so much for that one! The main questions I get is "How do you do it? DO you have to report to the government or something? and then they say, I could never do that!" I tell them yes they could that its really a lot easier than you think! And it is!
lol yeah I get all those plus stuff about me not working and my income being too low. (Good Grief! How is caring for 3 kids (5 soon), homeschooling, and running my house not work?!) I just try to surround myself with people who are positive about it, there are HSers at my Church, plus the HS group I'm in , plus here. I make sure Sami knows other HS kids so she dosn't think she is weird. That way the instances where I'm being harrassed are less of a focus.
BTW, homeschoolers are actually known to be MORE socially adept than those who go to a ps or other school during their school years. HSers interact with many more people of different ages, more often than ps'd children, who are in a classroom with kids all their same age day after day. To me that isn't socialization. Socialization is being able to interact with and enjoy the company of people from all ages and walks of life. Being bullied, labeled and made fun of isn't proper socialization either. My kids can do without that! How is being in a supportive environment with a teacher that cares the world for you and will strive hard to help you succeed NOT a good thing???!
Syele, you are an inspiration. Giving your all to your children is the best gift any parent can give them. It's a gift of time and dedication. All the money in the world cannot buy this or take it away.
thanks Emma. Deena I agree that HS socalization is better, but kids get funny ideas at times. (I was positive as a child that mountians were just where the dinosaurs were buried when they all died out.) I like for Sami to see that lots of kids are HSed, especially if she ever overhears my family saying silly things about how it's antisocial or how nutty HSing is.
I know my kids get noticed wherever they go by adults as being special and able to talk with adults , though my youngest is an 8 yr old boy through and through and has his wild behaviors at times. My dd is considered a brain by her peers at church, so many of them seem to avoid her. She does not try to show off but the leaders of our children's church had been using her for an example too much until I put a stop to it! I told them that was number one, too much pressure to put on a kid, and secondly it was putting her in a box to the side and making her intimidating to other kids her age. So now she is quiet about what grade she is in for the most part, does not offer it up and tries to just be "normal" as my kids put it. My oldest is having more peer problems sence he went to Private School than he ever had as hs child. I think all we as parents can do is the best we can do, and know to do there are too many ifs in life to worry about them and as friendships occure I like to foster them for my children. I know I am rambling here, I am tired out ! We had VBS, for dsalmost9 and dd12 is helping out at it this week. Then we had two baseball games, one which had to be left early for my dd also helps with tuesday night kids bible class as ajob. Ds had his game, and older ds15 had youth group which I am now late to picking up! ha! Oh well he can wait this time! Lol! TTFN!
