On occassion, not often, but on occassion, some public school parent will lay in to me over the fact that I homeschool. Generally, they are quite offended over the homeschooling and are trying to tell me how great the local public schools are and how insulted they are that I would "reject" them. I do not tell people why I homeschool (unless they are a fellow homeschooler, even then, I don't generally get in to it too much and the topic is rarely brought up). This is the 2nd time since I moved here that I recall where a parent blew up at me over the homeschooling. I have lived here for 2.5 yrs, it will be 3 in July. Ok, so when I first moved here, I met another family who homeschooled at an HOA activity. Later, I tried to call them because they told me to call and their daughter was my daughter's age. So, I could not remember their last name right I guess, but we lived in a small neighborhood and when I tried to look them up I got someone else. When I explained that I was trying to call another family who homeschools in the neighborhood, the man who answered the phone blew up at me and was yelling at me that his kids go to school here and this town has the best schools in the state and I am a fool to reject them and he takes offense to the likes of me and so on. I just stammered and said "we just moved here, I don't know anything about the schools." He calmed down at that and said I need to give them a try. I hung up. Fact is, even though we had just moved HERE, our old house was in the same school district, different schools. Today, I took my children to a new Tae Kwondo class. I sat down next to a woman and when we started visiting, I admitted I homeschooled. She got angry at me! She informed me she used to work for the local district and there is nothing I can do at home that could possibly even meet the standards of the local district. Class just let out and she kept talking and talking as she left, chewing me out and it was clear she did not take a breath because she did not want to give me a moment to respond to anything she was saying. I never said anything about my opinion of the local schools. I did mention that my sister teaches at the school where her child attends. I never know how to respond. I just cannot stand people like that. I figure when in a room full of public schoolers, I certainly don't want to tell her what I really think. In reality, I never tell anyone what I really think. Ok..I have come close here, but, you all are homeschoolers. But not in public, not to people I don't really know. Have you ever had someone do that? How do you respond? I am figuring I will just keep not responding.
"M'am, I'm sure the schools here are fine schools. I'm sure the teachers are top-notch. And I'm so glad they are here to meet the needs of your children and others in this community. It sounds as if they do an excellent job doing that! But my husband and I feel that God wants MY FAMILY to learn at home. And we need to be responsible for what He tells us to do. And until He tells us otherwise, this is what we will do." I think that's how I would say it (regardless of how worthless I felt the schools were!). That is, I would IF I could get a word in, which it sounds as if you can't! Sometimes silence is the best answer!
I have never had that happen and really don't know how I would respond. I hope I would have the grace to act like you and not make a big scene in a place where children are around to witness it. I don't know why some people take offense to homeschooling. I certainly don't fault them for sending their kids to public school. My grandmother always said to consider the source. I suppose she was right. Maybe the people you have run into have deeper problems than you see. I don't argue politics or religion and I don't plan to defend my choices to people who have a problem with how I teach/raise my kids. I just figure they will have to get over it or leave me and my family alone.
Well I am in Maryland and we are supposed to have the best schools in the country. I don’t see it though. The other day I had my bathroom updated and the worker asked me if DS was playing hooky from school. I told him we homeschooled and he gave me a dirty look. So I know where your coming from. I just walked off before he could even say anything else. Most of the people who live here are pretty nice about Homeschooling because they know about the schools here in Baltimore. They say, oh I wish I could do that or do you teach other children. They also ask if it’s legal and if DS has any friends. I have only had 3 or 4 occasions where some stupid person wanted to coheres me into defending my decision. I can be pretty nasty and outspoken if provoked so I just try to walk away.
"Oh, I guess I should have asked you first!" and walk off. Ugh, how rude! Where do these people get off??
We need a thumbs-up "likes" button on this site like there is on Facebook, because I'd hit it for this response. It's short, to the point with a dash of sarcasm and pan-full of "mind your own business"!
I would have just stared at her and said "I can see you went to public school." Then I would have walked away. Take the higher road, there is no need to get in an argument or defend your position on HSing. I think the PS parents get so angry because they feel guilty about leaving the raising and teaching of their children to other people.
I don't respond to those people, it's not worth it to me, and besides I don't have to defend my choices to anyone but my DH, my Children, and God...not in that order but you get the idea.
I smile and nod when met with rolling eyes, treehugger and granola eater comments...your not gonna change their minds if they are willing to almost acost you the first time they meet you over it...and they aren't gonna change your mind since you feel strongly about HS...I hope someday that it will be a more widely accepted choice...I still don't understand why people need to freak out about it...it's not like we are givin them moonshine, cigarettes and teaching them how to field dress cats...good grief :roll: I have never been done that way (to that extreme) by anyone I think I would just have to turn around and walk off and just leave them standing there talking to the wind...lol Sorry you are feeling ganged up on like that, not sure if the folks in your new town are just REALLY proud of their school system or if they got corncobs in places they shouldn't have...but that is crazy to treat a total stranger that way over a choice they are making for their child. To me that would be like acosting someone over the fact that they allowed their child to eat from a salad bar instead of making them eat a happy meal...ya know
Most of the people I run into are so complimentary. I have many public school teachers who tell me that it's great that I homeschool. Possible response, "Tell you what, I won't criticize you for your family's educational choice, if you won't criticize me for mine."
Some people just cannot stand it that someone is doing something different than what they are doing. I guess they just have to have their own decisions confirmed all of the time and they feel challenged and personally insulted if they find out you have taken a different path than them. But then many people never really think through a decision regarding whether or not to put their children in p.s., it's just what you do and must never be questioned. They just don't know what to do with someone that does question the status quo. On top of that, there is this "blind" loyalty you are supposed to have to your p.s. based on nothing more than it is your p.s. I had the funniest conversation once, many years ago with a lady from the church I was attending at the time. My oldest dd was kindergarten age and I was considering putting her in p.s. because I was very unaware of any resources or who to find out anything from yet in order to homeschool her. I asked the Mom what she thought about her p.s. and she went on about how wonderful it was and how much she just loved it. But I wanted actual facts and details. Not just sentimentalism. So I asked about class size. She said the classes are small , 20 some in a class.....But her daughter broke in and said "Mom there's 35 or more kids in our class...... I asked about the social environment. She said , Oh it's great, nothing ever happens here ......Again her daughter breaks in and says "Mom, there are drugs here and fights and....... " and so the conversation went. Blind Loyalty can be so annoying. I should add, the woman's daughter was not a Kindergartner, LOL, but around 6th or 7th grade. She may have been younger. I just don't remember right now. She had a couple of daughters.
There is this sentiment that we are supposed to support "our schools" and if we don't or don't want to throw more money in to them, we must be horrid. Here, in the local newspaper, they always run articles, usually on the front page, with pictures about things going on in the public schools. They made a HUGE deal of the schools who were exemplerary and had tons of pictures and a ceremony for the high school over it.
Hey, I think people should just assume that, but for some reason they don't. :roll::lol: One lady dropped by my house one day when my son was about to start 9th grade. She wanted to know when I was going to put him in p.s. I asked her "Why should I ?" and she said "For his own good" LOL I asked her why she didn't homeschool her son and she looked really shocked and said why and being the smart aleck I am I said "For his own good." And then I showed her some of the things my children had been doing, including the beautiful art work my dd had won prize money for and pointed out that she would not have had the opportunity to develop these skills if I had her in p.s. Well, she was in MY house and I am not easily intimidated in my own home. Sheeesh. Some people. :roll: By the way, a couple of years later, this same lady took her son out of p.s. and enrolled him in a private school because he was getting physically sick with irritable bowel syndrome , she said due to the stress of dealing with school and the rude coach he had. But she waited until he could drive himself to the private school, which meant he just had to cope with a few years of chronic diarrhea.
Right on! Most people send their children to public school because it is what we "should do". It has become the only means of an education to many people.
Jumping in late here....blind loyalty is one of my pet peeves. :roll: I have recently started going to the school board meetings as a concerned tax payer, but I usually have something to say concerning a complaint since dd is still in there right now. Anyway, I am considered a thorn in the ps's side at all times. It doesn't matter what I ask of them, I get told the opposite of what I want to hear--even when I asked that the art teacher not be allowed to play obscene music in class. I was actually told that it would be an infringement on the teachers freedoms. After a month of not letting that issue die--and keeping dd out of art class until the issue was resolved--the school board finally made her stop. All that to say that what makes them treat me this way is the fact I homeschool. Period. They (school administrators, staff, and many parents) can't stand that we have chosen not to have blind loyalty. Dd will be homeschooling again in just a few weeks. I made it a point to talk to her homeroom teacher to let her know that it has nothing to do with anything other than our family just LIKES to homeschool. She told me that she still thought I was making the wrong choice and another teacher said that dd was just thinking she was missing out on something because her big brother was at home :roll: I left them with, "I really can't figure out why it doesn't seem to be okay for our family to enjoy being with each other." So, in conclusion , if you want to get verbally abused once in a while, homeschool. If you want to get verbally abused EVERY DAY, have one kid homeschool and the other attend the public school. It does a body good--pass it on! :lol:
Our family has experienced the gamut of responses from wonderful affirmation to serious criticism. The ironic thing is that now, years later, some of the most skeptical have become the biggest advocates of homeschooling!
I'm in what is supposed to be one of the best counties in Maryland for public schools. Lol, so?! The city schools are bad, though. I remember the Sun did a week long report on the problems in city schools. I felt bad for the students.
I am really sorry you were verbally attacked! We are very lucky to live in a community that is mostly supportive of homeschoolers. Many parents say they wish they could do it or admire me for doing it. But when people ask why we do it, I don't go into a lengthy explanation because I think it is wrong to speak negatively about a school even if it seems deserved at times. I simply say we do it because it works better with my husband's schedule and it gives us the flexibility to travel when/if we want. He happens to work a rotating schedule of 4 weeks on, 1 week off. He can't request certain weeks off. That is how I approached it with the principal of the school and my son still does band there and my daughter will do band (if she wants) starting next year. No bridges burned and no one's feelings stomped on.
